There are any number of major parties surrounding the Oscars, but perhaps the elite see-and-be-seen party each year belongs to Vanity Fair, where both the actual sextastic talent and the sextastic non-talent join forces to create a visual delight of hotness for those who love the decked out to the hilt celeb affairs. It’s really a chance for Hollywood to show off its real drawing power, that being the super good looking women who flock here to call it home.
Last night’s soiree of the sexy celebs was highlighted by Sofia Vergara, who absolutely looks mega-hot whenever she dresses or undresses for events, Natalie Portman, in her first real return-to-hotness public appearance since having a baby with her seemingly gay husband, ever-hot Olivia Wilde, our Latina sweetheart, Selena Gomez looking all grown up, cute as a button I’d like to snap, Amy Adams, and model-sexy actress Diane Kruger. There were more, but this half-dozen formed a gaggle of hotness that could literally be seen from outer space. Enjoy.
People are pissed at Miley Cyrus. (HuffPo)
Lindsay Lohan has competition. (FoxNews)
Sophie Monk in Maxim Australia. (GossipCenter)
Diane Kruger looking hot in Paris. (Celebuzz)
Holy Olivia Wilde cleavage! (SocialiteLife)
Kim Kardashian is working her acting talents. (GossipCop)
Who is Brandi Glanville banging? (TheSuperficial)
The hottest girls of Californication. (Ranker)
Olivia Wilde looking hot. (HuffPo)
Amanda Seyfried goes 70’s porn star. (Celebuzz)
Damn it, Drew Barrymore. (FoxNews)
Willow Palin busts her headlights. (TMZ)
Marilyn Monroe oldie but goodies. (BuzzFeed)
Mila Kunis dior photoshoot. (GossipCenter)
– Charlize Theron premieres her new movie. (GossipCenter)
– Sandra Bullock is extremely hot and incredibly cleavy. (HuffPo)
– Britney Spears, what are you doing? (FoxNews)
– Edita Vilkeviciute in a wet top. (DrunkenStepfather)
– Hope Dworaczyk thinks the Lindsay Lohan Playboy pictures sucked. (TMZ)
– Ashley Tisdale is ready to mingle. (Popoholic)
– Olivia Wilde is back in black. (Celebuzz)
Minka Kelly and Zoe Saldana together at last. (GossipCenter)
Who would tell Sofia Vergara to get a breast reduction? (HuffPo)
Is Anna Benson the hottest baseball wife ever? (FoxNews)
Katy Perry gets NYC wet. (Celebuzz)
Let’s look down some blouses, shall we? (TheChive)
Olivia Wilde has the back of Kim Kardashian. (TheSuperficial)
Libya’s most popular love song. (CollegeHumor)
Is this the last topless photoshoot for Peta Todd? (ZOO)
Back in the day, this kid Steve Fairly-Weathers had a brilliant idea to get a bunch of us high school kids laid. We’d invite over a bunch of girls from school to his place for chips and dip, and subtly drop in the adult films he had procured from his friend who had a friend who worked at a black-bag video store. Surely, the members of the fairer sex would be so overwhelmed with uncontrollable urges brought on by Ron Jeremy as the grabby office boss that a veritable bacchanalia would break out and a Roman style orgy would ensue. Yeah, no. Steve Fairly-Weathers got punched in the stomach by a girl named Sue and the Vice-President of the Chess Club I had a crush on called me a pervert and told me not to talk to her at school ever again. Point being, the man’s way is no way to get a woman.
The same can be said when it comes to the world of women’s fashion. Granted, what we know personally about fashion can be summed up as ‘quick trip to Target to buy new retro t-shirts, don’t forget coupons’, but when it comes to the clothing for the hot ladies, we surely have preferences, generally starting with no clothes, and pretty much concluding there. However, early life lessons learned the hard way, if you want to get the sexy ladies to show up, you can’t have a nekkid fashion awards. If only. So you need to put together something like the Vogue Fashion Fund awards, where the hot celebrities can get all decked out and compliment each other on how amazing they look even though they’re jealous as hell of each and the in-tuned male of the species can tell them how amazing they look because he knows that’s one of the five secret keys to opening the lady vault and, suddenly you have a thing.
And that thing brought out the likes of Rebecca Romijn, Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Allison Williams, Rooney Mara, and Karine Vanasse. A full on sextastic bunch of grapes. And nobody had to get punched in the stomach. This is the value of forward thinking. Enjoy.