My friend Barney Bustamante told me as a kid if you want to get with the girls, you need to learn a little poetry. That was Plan B actually. Plan A was being handsome and the captain of the football team. Plan B seemed lame, but so much more attainable. Oh, the lackluster verses I would pen for Aussie model hottie Nicole Trunfio, she of the long lean hotness variety now on display in Treats magazine.
How happy am I to see one of my favorite Down Under exquisite beauties flashing her glorious funbags in Treats? Oh, there's no known scale of measurement for such feelings. But it can best be expressed in the audible call of the Spring robin upon learning a mate will allow him to make some eggs in his lady. Best analogy I got. It's horrible. Enjoy.