Keeley Hazell

Keeley Hazell Butt-Justs Her Baywatch Swimsuit Bottoms

Talk about a comeback. I had lost track of former Britty glamour model, well, former glamour model, still quite Britty, Keeley Hazell. A woman who dazzled with the bare boobtastic for several years almost like nobody ever before her. She was a queen among funbag royalty. Then, she quit it all to go legit, whatever that means, given as how I find sharing your bare sweet’ums to be the height of legitimate benevolence. Nevertheless, she took a turn at acting and commercial activities where her clothes stayed on, which left her off our radar for some time. Now, here is the lust inducing Keeley shooting on the beach in a super tight and apparently riding Baywatch style swimsuit.

I’m not sure what this shoot is for precisely, but I do know that Keeley’s swimsuit seems to be riding into her cheeks rather significantly requiring an experienced ‘pull man’ to ease her discomfort. I’ve been pulling to Keeley for years now quite informally. It’s time they allowed me on set to provide the service on a more practical manner. There’s no reason why a beautiful woman should have ever to tug her own thong out of her nether regions. Please, allow me. I have naturally warm hands with finger tips I had surgically implanted with crushed velvet. Trust me, you will never pull your panties out of your ass again. I can be there in ten minutes by helicopter, just say the word. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

READER FINDS: Kelly Brook Purported Nekkid Selfie, Chloe Sevigny Topless, Charlotte McKinney Crazy Hot Funbags, and Much Much More…

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I feel ever so blessed to get to close out our week of wanton ogling with a peek inside the silk-lined reader email bag of goodness. I can hear the angels sing as pull back the goldenrod strings and unveil the majesty of celebrity skin within. It’s possible that’s just what’s left of my Spotify playlist as all the other music has been deleted by license holders. Still, when a cherub wails, you know something special is about to reveal itself. Indeed it has.

This week’s Reader Finds include Laura Wiggins in her shameless Shameless topless moments so mammary-able (thank to EgoReader ‘Conte’), the blessedly bare topped women of Van Wilder: Freshman Year (skinematics courtesy of ‘Daniel’), Tokyo Drift’s Nathalie Kelley topless in the wild (kind visual blessings from ‘Sumit’), Nathalie Edenburg topless in black and white and color (so hot, kudos to ‘Stephen B.’), Kristi Somers, Cynthia Thompson and Betsy Russell topless in Tomboy (an 80′s ta-ta blast from ‘Owen’), a purported topless selfie of Kelly Brook (thanks to many of you who sent this in for show and tell, no idea if it’s verified), a trio of topless goodness of angelic Keeley Hazell (that’s devotion from ‘Darren’), Julie Gayet topless on the silver screen (lovely lustables via ‘Francis E.’),  Chloe Sevigny model topless from about a decade ago (new one for this here rodeo, thanks ‘Evan’), Charlotte McKinney in one beautiful busty photoshoot (wowzers provided by ‘Aaron W.’), Bar Refaeli showy top modeling (a prize piece from ‘Bill P.’), gloriously gifted Ava Fabian in Ski School (ooh la la ta-ta delivered by ‘Rachel’), Amber Heard bikini body onscreen (one fine two piece hotness via ‘Theo’), and Alexandra Breckenridge topless in her forever memorable vampire scene (thumbs up for teats to ‘Shoreline’). It’s a big plate of sextastic today, but I know I’ve trained you well for this mission. Enjoy.

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Keeley Hazell Is Back (Again) and Looking Mighty Fine In My Hood

I’m not sure what excites me more, the once again return of Keeley Hazell, or the fact that I recognize the place where her most outstanding new photoshoot in FHM magazine appear and it’s a mere few blocks from our penthouse offices here at Egotastic! I’m surprised my superpower sense of smell didn’t pick up the hint of Hazell when she got within three land miles of my location. Must be something to do with the polar vortex, but the mere thought of Keeley in her little white shorts at my In & Out Burger place has me imagining Keeley and I embraced in a gooey double double.

Keeley keeps dropping out of modeling and then coming back. I’m not sure she’s ever going to be doing glamor modeling again, as in, exposing her world class funbags, but the memories of her mighty puppies combined with her still wicked hot looks, still one of the finest babes on this here planet, let alone hanging out in my hood. I’m going out now to track her down like a bloodhound. Enjoy.

Keeley Hazell Covered Topless Pics Only Make Us Sadder to See Her Go (But They’re Still Wicked Effin’ Hot!)

Not exactly when these photos were shot for Maxim magazine, or if shot for Maxim, but these covered topless pictures of the wonderment that is Keeley Hazell is some form of torture submitted by EgoReader ‘Dave D.’ to visually remind us how much we will miss Keeley now that she has officially and finally announced her exit from the modeling stage.

This is perhaps worse than losing your childhood pet to a speeding yet completely silent electric vehicle or the pangs of loss you feel when the last of your weekender 24-pack of Silver Bullets has been tapped out by early Saturday morning, because you can get another dog, they’re all really effin’ cute, and thank the good Lord there is always more beer to be had, but will there ever be another Keeley Hazell?

Keeley Hazell Saying Goodbye to Modeling (Yet Again) in FHM Bikini Pictures

I don’t know exactly what to believe anymore with Keeley Hazell. This is some kind of emotional trampoline though, with her seeming come back to modeling, now FHM running a series about Keeley committed only to acting and being done with modeling. How much up and down can one man take (especially thinking about Keeley going up and down, it’s too much!)

We are men. We  are not toys. When we prick our fingers, do we not bleed? When we finger our pricks, do we not… well, you get the idea. We need constant. And we constantly want to see Keeley Hazell without clothes on, so this latest and greatest announcement best not be the final say.

Take a look at these ‘goodbye bikini’ pictures from Keeley in FHM and see if you don’t start sobbing a bit yourself. Enjoy.

For the complete look at the return of Keeley Hazell to glorious glamor modeling, check out

Keeley Hazell Classic Topless for a Queen Like Royal Tribute

Keeley Hazell Topless Shower Pictorial for Grant Sainsbury
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We get fanmail all the time. As you know, we have the privilege of tearing up at your sweet kind words, or crying little baby girls when you’re biting and nasty. But our favorite letters are the tribute letters to your objects d’ lust, because in them we can feel the real passion. So much so that we often feel like we need a Purell bath after reading.

So was the communication of one ‘Earl D’ who felt a need to remind us, and I suppose we did need reminding, that for all of our Britty glamour model lust, none truly reigned supreme as Keeley Hazell, a legend in her own time (just really a few years ago), and a true giver in our own mind, where Keeley still routinely drops her top and giggles for the benefit of the fantasy machines in our brains.

To wit, EgoReader ‘Earl D’ doesn’t just lament and promote, he provides, an amazing set of Grant Sainsbury photos of the wicked hot British glamour queen, Keeley Hazell, in various states of moisture and undress. Take the time to peruse them all, and for that, you will be a better man, or woman, or young child who is not supposed to be accessing this site but you know how that goes. Enjoy.

Check Out More Keeley Hazell by Grant Sainsbury Topless Photos »

Keeley Hazell Takes Off Her Top for a Grant Sainsbury Topless Shoot