Kate Upton

Happy Birthday, America (Here’s Some Hot Celebrities in Bikinis Sucking Popsicles)

For all her cracks and creaking floorboards, there's no place like home. Happy 238th birthday, America. You may be too prude for boobs in magazines and on television, but like my conservative Aunt Ella, you still manage to surprise me each Christmas with a different color pair of winter socks.

To celebrate the birth of the nation, we've put together a few red white and blue bikini and popsicle sucking photos of some of the hottest celebrities celebrating the 4th and summer in the most exposing and tongue-licking way possible. Yes, it's a crude birthday present, America, but don't worry, my Aunt Ella got you some socks to keep your feet warm. Happy Birthday.

Kate Upton Nipple Slip, It’s Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

Albeit, I am feasting on what appears to be a Kate Upton nipple slip here at the start of the week. Nothing outrageous, but another outtake from the good folks at Sports Illustrated and Swim Daily who seem quite intent, and thankfully so, on sharing all of Kate's pretty parts with the rest of the world. And why not? Why keep secret treasures just to yourself? What are you, a pirate? Nay, a gift is only a gift when you share it. I'm pretty sure I learned something like that from Barney, or Elmo, before the arrests.

Kate Upton, you are a true beauty. Seeing your nekkid fun bits only makes you that much more special in my eyes. Also, it helps fill in a few missing pixels of my making the sexy with Kate Upton on the beach fantasy. Authentic even beats imagined when it comes to the sextastic fineries. Bless you, Kate. Enjoy.

(Thanks to a benevolent ton of you for sending in your eagle-eyed sight of Kate on the beach.)

Kate Upton Nekkid and Frontal Still on SI

 

Leave it to one of our EgoReaders to uncover the facts, just the facts, ma'am. Like the fact that Kate Upton is still nekkid and flashing her lady nest on SI SwimDaily. I don't know if this is a continued service by the sports news site or a mistake, but let's just call it the best thing to ever happen in the world ever. No exaggeration.

Check out the continuing saga of Kate Upton nekkid cooch on WWTDD.

Kate Upton Camel Toe Leaks, Err, Painted Lady Nest Appears from the Sports Illustrated Unedited Bikini Files

 

Updated: Yes, corrected, that is a painted on bikini bottom, so technically, not a camel toe, just a slice of heaven!

Now, I never know exactly what to believe on the Internet these days. It's not like the old days when the Internet was young and innocent and you could believe everything you saw or read.

But, so many of you EgoReaders blessedly pointed us in the direction of this Kate Upton bikini camel toe mega toe of the camel reveal from an apparently un-airbrushed number SI accidentally posted to their Swim Daily outpost. It's hard to believe anybody could have missed this mesmerizing thong cleft on this even more mesmerizing woman. Or even more so, that once seeing it, somebody felt the need not to share its wonderment with the world any longer. But, suffice it to say, the Kate Upton camel toe to end all camel toes is here and in your face. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Lingerie Pictures So Hot Your Libido Will Simply Melt

I'm not sure how Kate Upton goes about topping herself. It seems like a challenge to be just crazy passion inducing and somebody says to you, okay, let's kick that sextastic up a couple more notches. But Kate was challenged and she responded with, hey, how about I get into some tiny little bits of lace and satin and garters and blow some bubbles for the camera? Um, okay.

Featured in the current edition of The Men Magazine, Kate Upton shows why a couple years now into her top of the ladder blonde bombshell run, she's really only just getting started. Sure, maybe the acting thing doesn't ultimately work out for her in her Marilyn Part 2 part, but we need not see Kate in any role besides hardly dressed hottie for us to give her our Golden Palm awards, if you know what I'm saying. I think you do. Bless you, Kate. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Bikini Buxom Snorkeling Goodness in Vogue U.K.

Kate Upton doesn't just wear swimsuits, she fills them with joy. In this faptastic pictorial in Vogue U.K., Kate and her faptastic curves somehow fit into a snug neoprene bikini for some snorkeling time. Well, maybe she really didn't go snorkeling, but I'm imagining some underwater embraces with Kate that would make the Great White sharks turn red with embarrassment.

Kate Upton just has so much of that special 'it' quality, it's literally busting out of her bikini tops. Kate, please, don't ever go changing. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Upskirt, Olivia Munn Cleavage, and Rihanna Deep Booty Crack Highlight the Met Gala After-Party Hotness

Everybody knows the after-party is always so much better than the party itself. I mean, so I'm told by people I know who get invited to such fancy affairs. I didn't even realize that once you got dressed up super fancy, you had to go get re-dressed for the next stop in your evening, but fashion demands are high, as are our needs to see even slinkier gowns on the hot ladies, so I'm completely down with this phenomenon. Just look what came of it.

Rihanna stepped out in an even lower-back cut dress that revealed half of her gloriously hot thumper, stealing the red carpet with pure asstastic. Olivia Munn was not far behind with her deep cleavage show. And then there was Kate Upton, not such a revealing dress for her, but it certainly show off a lot while seated in the back of her limo, accidentally flashing her panties to the world. Or maybe it was just to me, but I'll let you look as well. Hey, Kate Upton upskirts are not something you horde, lest you be cast overboard when discovered. It was quite an evening. Enjoy.