Kate Upton

Kate Upton Bikini Buxom Snorkeling Goodness in Vogue U.K.

Kate Upton doesn't just wear swimsuits, she fills them with joy. In this faptastic pictorial in Vogue U.K., Kate and her faptastic curves somehow fit into a snug neoprene bikini for some snorkeling time. Well, maybe she really didn't go snorkeling, but I'm imagining some underwater embraces with Kate that would make the Great White sharks turn red with embarrassment.

Kate Upton just has so much of that special 'it' quality, it's literally busting out of her bikini tops. Kate, please, don't ever go changing. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Upskirt, Olivia Munn Cleavage, and Rihanna Deep Booty Crack Highlight the Met Gala After-Party Hotness

Everybody knows the after-party is always so much better than the party itself. I mean, so I'm told by people I know who get invited to such fancy affairs. I didn't even realize that once you got dressed up super fancy, you had to go get re-dressed for the next stop in your evening, but fashion demands are high, as are our needs to see even slinkier gowns on the hot ladies, so I'm completely down with this phenomenon. Just look what came of it.

Rihanna stepped out in an even lower-back cut dress that revealed half of her gloriously hot thumper, stealing the red carpet with pure asstastic. Olivia Munn was not far behind with her deep cleavage show. And then there was Kate Upton, not such a revealing dress for her, but it certainly show off a lot while seated in the back of her limo, accidentally flashing her panties to the world. Or maybe it was just to me, but I'll let you look as well. Hey, Kate Upton upskirts are not something you horde, lest you be cast overboard when discovered. It was quite an evening. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Boobtastic Bikini Reveals Behind the Scenes With Swim Daily

Kate Upton, your sweet funbags in a bikini make everything better. Out of a bikini they could probably cure most illnesses that plague this world, save for the ailment of being horny, I suppose seeing Kate Upton topless might just make that worse.

The good folks at Swim Daily, the online magazine for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit hotness, took Kate out on a boat to various sandy shores at shot her behind the scenes of her latest tropical S.I. photoshoot. Kate's clad in varioud bikinis flashing her hot all over body, and when that's not enough, she starts holding her own faptastic funbags just to make it clear she's the luckiest woman on this planet. I feel a bit lucky sharing the experience with her. Though not quite as on-my-knees in thanks as I would to be Kate's hand-bra for a day. Enjoy.

Kate Upton in Spandex Bikinis Grabbing Her Own Yams for Vogue? Yep

I don't know why Kate Upton is touching her own fabulous funbags in this upcoming edition of Vogue Magazine, I'm too busy being thankful for the fact that she just is. Sometimes, it's best not to question the blessings in life lest they go away.

You can see the full set of Kate Upton bikini Spandex goodies over on WWTDD where I'm sure they have a rather unique perspective on something related to Kate. But, also, hot boobies. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Cleavy In A Low-Cut Top In NYC

Actress and professional hottie Kate Upton is the queen of cleav in a low-cut black top in this shoot in New York. Kate is hot in various ways but the plunging neckline in this ensemble show off her perfect chesticles. Seriously, they can be seen by most of the tri-state area. Her legendary ladies are perfect. They are like the Platonic ideal of what the human breast is supposed to look like. This outfit has the right amount of cleavage with just a hint of side boob. As a rule, normal cleavage will stop even the most intelligent man in his tracks. Kate's redonkulous boob valley stops traffic all the way to the Jersey turnpike. She's also got an extremely tight pair of jeans on. Like, hug every nook and cranny in just the right way tight.

Kate Upton is one of those women that looks like they were created in a lab by some kind of hot woman mad scientist. A Dr. Frankenboobies, if you will.

Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, and Nicki Minaj Cleavetastic for The Other Woman Premiere

I can't help but feel like The Other Woman has been coming out in theaters for about ten years now. Maybe just because we've been tracking this film and it's boobtastic cast for so long now during production. But it's finally here. Which means red carpet. Which means big cleavage shows for a chick flick about affairs and fooling around and revenge and other things women love that I don't quite understand. But I do totally get Cameron Diaz in a low cut dress, who along with Kate Upton being her bosomy self and a surprise chesty appearance from the funbags of Nicki Minaj, made for one ripe melon filled red carpet in Los Angeles.

Now, whether or not your woman makes you go to see this movie, that's between you and your conscious. Yes, I know, Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz and bikinis and yadda yadda. We've seen all the photos. Do as you must, my wayward son. Just, please, don't explain yourself after the fact. It's in the details where we lose our souls. Enjoy.

Kate Upton Nearly Smothered By Her Own Awesome Bosom in London

I'm not suggesting Kate Upton ditch the supportive undergarments, though if she visited my home that would certainly be my first request. I'm just saying that with all that chestal real estate, she needs to be careful not to asphyxiate herself on the back-end of two enormous yams lifted up into her face by her own brassiere. That nearly happened last night in London where the blonde bombshell took the city by storm. Well, sextastic funbag storm, in a little black number that highlighted her full big white numbers quite nicely.

Though I really am a horrible sharer, I am glad to see that Kate's curvaceous appeals are now extending worldwide, as they ought. Some people will say they don't want the cliche buxom blonde to be representative of American beauty around the globe. I say, I'll bring this up with Kate as we lay together in the morning, still chaffed and weak from the splendor of the evening before. Enjoy.