While Justin Timberlake may be benefitting from regular boot knockings from his new bride, Jessica Biel (albeit, a survey of my married friends shows that there is a 100% likelihood of a decrease in that department moving forward), we have been suffering as Jessica has put her delicious body into hiding of late, perhaps harkening back to olden days when a taken woman became fully clothed and cut off any sextastic views in public, lest she create lust in other men’s hearts.
Well, here’s the deal, all we have in our hearts is lust, so we were damn glad to see Jessica at the Hitchcock film premiere in Beverly Hills finally showing a bit of sideboob, some sweet skin, for the benefit of those of us who have been passion-tracking Jessica since before it was even polite to talk about in public. We’ll take it. We miss you, Jessica. Mrs. or Ms., does not matter to us. Enjoy.
Our video game editor Aaron doesn’t think there’s such a thing as Whooty — White Booty — or that there is an actual subculture of readers with this particular fetish. Meh, he’s probably right. But given this is a time of gratitude, we’re going to celebrate here on Egotastic! those few and far between women of limited color whose bottoms often make us turn red in the face.
Here’s 10 of our bigger-get badonkadonks. It’s Whooty Time!
Honestly, there’s a certain threshold of female sextastic in a film where I don’t care what people think about the movie, I’m going to see it. Total Recall might be an awesome film, it might be a disappointment (won’t know until tomorrow), but I know I’m going to watch it, because if nothing else, the pairing of supremely good looking Jessica Biel and MILFtastic Kate Beckinsale in the same cinematic venture, let alone kickboxing the shizz out of each other in the same scene, that trumps all.
At last night’s premiere in L.A, both of these supremely hot women, the bread in the very naughty and baby-ol covered fantasy Egotastic! sandwich I’ve been dreaming of for years, dropped some red carpet heat outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theater and caused at least 10,000 sci-fi fanboys to simultaneously fap themselves into erasing memories of who they really are. Which isn’t a bad thing for most fanboys. Enjoy.
Oh, the nerds, they did play this weekend in San Diego, a giant condensation of geekitutde so heavy that if an asteroid had hit and destroyed the convention center this weekend, sales of short sleeve dress shirts and pocket protectors would have dropped worldwide by 90% overnight.
But, with the nerds came Hollywood, and with Hollywood, the hotties pimping their film and TV and web projects to the four-eyed masses, including the likes of Olivia Munn, Emily Blunt, Jessica Biel, and other fine fair gendered specimens of hotness who had to shower at least thrice to remove the combo smell of Aqua Velva and Red Vines from their hair after a weekend of pawing at the hands of the nerd community. Check them all out, and, enjoy.
How could I forget that Total Recall is coming out soon, one month from today, and that now we have the pleasure of seeing the movie’s hottie female co-stars, the inimitable Kate Beckinsale and the luscious be lusty Jessica Biel, both of whom will be featured in some skintight futuristic space get-ups in the film, including the battle scene where we know these two super hotties try to kick the sextastic out of each other.
This month’s Maxim magazine features some stellar promo pics of Kate and Jessica in character for the film, please excuse the Colin Farrell inclusion in some of the pics, he was just woven right the eff in there and we couldn’t get him completely out. Like a protein stain. But do not miss the front side and back side goodness of the MILFtastic Kate Beckinsale and the future MILFtastic Jessica Biel. Enjoy.
Ay, Mami, the shores of Puerto Rico got just a huge bit hotter this weekend as one of our long time belusted favorites, the rarely seen these days Jessica Biel, got all kind of dripping wet and dropping sextastic in her wetsuit top and bikini on the beach while visiting Justin Timberlake in the P.R. (stupid ridiculously lucky bastard).
At one time, around the man-world, and on here, where it really counts, Jessica Biel was considered one of the finest specimens of female celebrity to ever have eyes feasted upon her. And while her growing pains have thrown her from her queen-of-the-oglers-hill status off and on, on and off, there’s no doubt that this wicked hot woman has all the innate skills to make any man catatonic at her leisure.
If you can’t taste the salt water on her body, you’re not staring hard enough. Enjoy.