READER FINDS: Natalie Portman Classic Topless, Evangeline Lilly Stellar Sexy, Elisabetta Canalis Gotcha Topless, And Much Much More…
As a child I visited the Milwaukee zoo and came upon a scene of complete frenzy as a long suffering male chimp had gotten hold of a handbag of a zoo visitor and was banging the copulation shizz out of that purse like his life depended on it. I’ll never forget the look on the face of that chimp as he rabbit humped that Gucci knockoff, pure primordial bliss.
That’s the look I have on my face each and every week as I peruse the wonderments delivered to our doorstep by our faithful and fastidious Internet browsing readers. The men and women of our virtual army of the sextastic who deliver their discoveries into the communal pot each week our Friday rendition of Stone Soup, a.k.a, Reader Finds.
This weeks amalgamation of the awesomely hot includes TOWIE Maria Fowler topless, Rosario Dawson in a sexy dark photoshoot, sadly rarely photographed Lost hottie Evangeline Lilly in her own wicked photo shoot, newcomer Nicole Neal topless in Nuts, late night cable topless queen Shannon Whirry in a collection of her best, the big chest of Jack Osbourne baby mama Lisa Stelly, Natalie Portman in her infamous topless beach photos from 2000, Gisele Bundchen cover worthy asstastic, Lea Michele poking through braless, a double shot of the double tops of Swedish model Johanna Lundback, Rachael Finch nip slip, Elisabetta Canalis topless in a tabloid pic, and the early model card headshots of sextastic models Candice Swanepoel, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Miranda Kerr, and Daisy Lowe and gloriously hot South African Tanit Phoenix looking most definitely topless in a new music video. It’s a mouthful!
After her murder victim stage play about The Dictator yacht parked off of Cannes yesterday, we weren’t sure supermodel and former George Clooney squeeze-and-tickle Elisabetta Canalis was going to be alright, but she was more than alright today, at the luxurious Eden Roc hotel on the South of France, flashing her highly-valued bikini body for the benefit of Mother Sun and Father Ogler.
Now, if you’ve got connections and a few grand a night to spend on a hotel room in Cannes this week, you too could be leering at all the lovely bits of expensive flesh on display there during the high season of the film festival. Or, if you’re like me, you fly to Cannes, sleep on the city’s only public, rock-laden beach, and wake-up with three cigarettes butts in your mouth not of your own smoking. It’s kind of the same, but different. Enjoy.
I have to hand it to Sacha Baron Cohen, he’s a flipping promotional genius. His various publicity stunts promoting The Dictator, coming out today in theaters have been borderline nuts, but very funny, not the least of which including dumping Kim Jong Il’s ashes on a very perturbed Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars.
But today’s stunt takes the cake.
Knowing that all peeping paparazzi lenses are in Cannes this week for the annual film festival, and telescopically patrolling the high-end yachts parked off shore, ‘The Dictator’ staged a scene with uber-hottie Elisabetta Canalis decked out in a hot bikini on her sweet body, but apparently not finding the Dictator to be manly enough for her tastes and mocking his little dictator. At which point The Dictator kills her, wraps her in a bag, and throws her overboard, all while the cameras are snapping from the shoreline and nearby boats.
Now that is funny. Enjoy.