Egotastic
Sometimes life seems unfair. Why couldn't I be a famous Italian fashion designer with a monster yacht dotted with tons of global hotties in bikinis waiting to change for me into outfits of my own design? I blame the fact that I'm left-handed and unable to use right-handed scissors without spastic mis-cuts, elsewise, I could have been Roberto Cavalli, who has hosted just a gaggle of sexy celebrities on his bazillion dollar watercraft these past few days off the shore of Cannes, not the least hotness of which is Elisabetta Canalis, Italian model and erstwhile George Clooney girlfriend (talk about another lucky bastard right there) who pranced and sun-baked about the Cavalli yacht in a skimpy bikini to basically drive most of the entire male world (and you leering ladies) into ogling madness. Elisabetta Canalis keeps her buttockal region in some serious ship-shape. Next year, I'm going to be on a yacht in Cannes. Or, you know, a dinghy on Lake Eerie. Enjoy.
(UPDATE: We got hold of the pimping dress shots Elisabetta Canalis was on the yacht to wear and look ridiculously hot in and added them to the post. Look for sweet sweet pokes. Enjoy.)
Cannes Winds Up In A Giant Hottie Party Featuring Alessandra Ambrosio, Irina Shayk, and Bar Refaeli
It's been a long, hotness week at Cannes. Next year, I swear, I'm going in person, even if I have to sleep on the public beach again. Sexy actress rubbing elbows and bare backs with ridiculously hot models and a bunch of rich dudes with yachts and dark tans. It's all there. And the big windup came last night at the amfAR Gala where the best of the hottest came together in a giant flaming visual orgy of decked-out sextastic that included Alessandra Ambrosio, Irina Shayk, Bar Refaeli, Doutzen Kroes, Elisabetta Canalis, Gwen Stefani, Michelle Rodriguez, Rosario Dawson, Mischa Barton, and Mila Jovovich. Oh, yeah, Courtney Love was also there falling out of her top, so we thought that at least made her worth a couple ogles or two. Can you imagine how badly your neck would hurt after hanging out at a hottie hullabaloo like this? Enjoy.