- Courtney Stodden: the origin story. (HuffPo)
- Fake bodies but real hotness. (FoxNews)
- Audrina Patridge shows off her bongos. (GossipCenter)
- The hottest Rihanna shoots of the year. (Idolator)
- Lindsay Lohan wardrobe malfunctions. (Celebslam)
- Ashlee Simpson is officially ready to mingle (TMZ)
- Get your brunch on. (CollegeHumor)
Okay, we've already kind of spoken our peace about the celebration of the musical arts b.s. that the American Music Awards and all music award shows claim to be. And, no, we're not music snobs, because half of this craptastic pop music we actually like, but when we listen to it, we know it's the Doritos chips equivalent of audio excellence. It's junk food for the ears. But when Uncle John is in town from Humboldt County, oh, how we crave that junk food.
In contrast, what we do take quite seriously is the bevy of beauties these award shows bring out; divas of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, origins, and auto-tuned pre-recorded levels that share one thing in common -- we want very badly to make the sexy with them backstage in a closet.
This year's American Music Awards awards for noteworthy excellence in the area of wood making included Selena Gomez, who really stole the show tonight, despite the omnipresence of her 90-lbs of goof tied to her arm, Katy Perry, who has now not shown us her boobs for four full years, Taylor Swift, who still always looks like she's trying to see into the Close Encounters alien ship when the doors open up and the aliens descend (but we still want to make many babies with her), Jennifer Lopez who put on a 40-something body show for the ages, Christina Aguilera, who has seen some hard times, but bonus points for bringing the cleavetastic, Jennifer Hudson and her new bodacious body, Albanian import Bleona Qereti who dropped some silly amounts of boobtastic, ever hot Vanessa Minillo, and non-singers Sarah Hyland and Audrina Patridge who just rev our engines in entirely different ways.
Not a bad showing, AMA's, at least in the area of the visual arts. Enjoy.
I'm not sure if Lindsay Lohan was actually invited to this THQ video game launch party or if she just staggered in snookered to all heck, but she sure did look like she took some horse tranquilizers before hitting the party that was otherwise hottie highlighted by Aly Michalka, whose body I'd kill many innocents to possess, five minutes should suffice, and Audrina Patridge, whose main job skill is looking amazing in a bikini (and the occasional evening wear) which admirably she does quite well.
Still, somebody really should have called security, you wait to long on these things you just might find Lindsay making out with her mom again. Enjoy.
Julianne Hough looking particularly cleavy. (Popoholic)
Julianne Moore fulfills our hot teacher fantasies. (HuffPo)
Bikini Battle: Audrina Patridge vs. Whitney Port. (FoxNews)
Reese Witherspoon gets hit by a car. (TMZ)
Damn you, auto-correct! (CollegeHumor)
Ali Lohan isn't fooling anybody. (theFABlife)
Hottest ginger celebrities. (Ranker)
I think my explicable, yet disturbing passion for hot moms and daughters is quite well documented, and while I am receiving careful and unorthodox therapeutic treatment for this kinky affliction, what's a poor pervert to do when up against the likes of the bikini-clad Audrina Patridge and her drunky-poo hot mom, Lynn Patridge. I mean, seriously, how is a semi-sane man not supposed to imagine sharing a floating chaise lounge chair in a pool of naughty mom-daughter sandwich making of the sexy when these Patridge girls are strutting the beaches in their little bikinis, flashing their inter-generational hot bodies and ripe, plump, full bosoms. Am I not to imagine girls night at the Patridge house, doing each other's hair, bathing in essential oils, the hot rock massages where the ladies discover that that ain't exactly rocks that are hot on their backs when masseuse Egotastic! is at the handsy end of their sexy body treatments.
Oh, my, I need to call Dr. Teddy Ruxpin ASAP. I think I need more sessions. Enjoy.
NOTE: For the full set of Audrina Patridge bikini pictures, be sure to visit Celebuzz.com.
Credit: Splash News
Rihanna Barbados bikini top. (Celebuzz)
Anne Hathaway red carpet hotness. (HuffPo)
Are Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge getting together? (GossipCop)
Irina Shayk in a sexy, little dress. (GossipCenter)
Rachel Uchitel is raking it in. (TMZ)
Nicole Scherzinger drops some mega cleavage. (Popoholic)
Cheerleaders doing the splits. (TheChive)
Egotastic
Audrina Patridge Bikini Pictures and Other Fine Things to Ogle
Taylor Swift in this month's Vogue. (HuffPo)
Baseball wife, Anna Benson, keeps things interesting. (FoxNews)
Audrina Patridge bikini pictures. (GossipCenter)
Kristen Bell in Self Magazine. (Celebuzz)
Subway riders without their pants. (TheChive)
Lindsay Lohan to play Elizabeth Taylor? (TMZ)
Seth Rogen and I have something in common. (BuzzFeed)