bill-swift - May 20, 2014
Sure, Cannes has more attitude than a sorority senior council meeting, but that doesn't mean the fancy film festival doesn't bring out the super hotties from all corners of the globe to get decked out and walk the wide crimson carpet. It seems as if every A-listed (on down to D-lister) is in Cannes this week wearing somebody famous and bedecked in jewels for the ten thousand paparazzi cameras. And, naturally, some of them caught our eye more than others over the weekend, including Blake Lively, Eva LongoriaJennifer Lawrence, Adriana Lima, Hilary Swank and others showing off their barest finest gala ware for the oohs and aahs of the assembled crowd and the worldwide leering audience.
My memories of Cannes are less glitzy gowns and more rocky public beaches and funny looking police hats shooing me here and there. But one day I would like to be the escort of one of these sextastic celebrities smiling broadly on the carpet as I whisper naughty suggestions into their ears. I assume that's what everybody is telling each other in their ears as they make their way down the promenade. All I need now is the girl, and the super important movie that nobody will ever see. One of those will be easier than the other. Enjoy.