The notoriously norky Dead or Alive loves the tits. It loves them even more than we do, and that’s some impressive dedication right there.
The jugged-up fighter has been wobbling, jiggling and gravity-defying since 1996, and they’re damned if they’re going to stop now. The formula has been refined down to 'sweat physics,’ which make skimpy tops increasingly see-through as they fight. So, clearly, we’re nearing the pinnacle of perky perfection.
Well, not so much 'perfection.’ These bouncier-than-two-trampolines-in-a-hurricane boobs couldn’t be any less realistic. But these mad bastards know what they like, and they’re sticking with it. Which has now led to... this.
Yep. If the bounciest bounce that ever bounced isn’t already enough mothereffin’ bounce for you, Dead or Alive 5: Last Round is here to help. The latest series innovation is the Yawaraka (‘softness’) Engine, which Kotaku reports is ‘...the result of attempting to up the visual realism of character skin in order to make characters look more naturally realistic on the latest platforms.’
And why the hell not? We all know why we bought our PS4s and Xbox Ones: for the ‘softer’ tits. Of course we did. As game producer Yosuke Hayashi says, "The reason that fans would think the game must be on the latest generation is that 'the girls look cuter [on the latest consoles]... Once you see it on the new consoles, you won't be able to go back."
We don’t know how customizable characters will be here, or just what we'll be able to adjust with this. All we know is that it’s just the latest step in Dead or Alive’s chesticle domination.