The End Is Nigh: A ‘Candy Crush’ Game Show Is Now A Thing

  Now, if you ask me, there are a couple things the world could really, really use. A magic little pill that cures hangovers, for instance. The closure of Kanye’s Twitter account, and a law against him ever making another. World peace would be pretty sweet too, but that’s a little much, so I’d settle for everyone stopping being such assholes to each other for a bit. Or all the tech that Back to the Future promised we’d already have by now. 

On the flipside, there are things that nobody, under any circumstances, ever needs or wants. Like another check-me-out-I’m-bare-assed-on-a-boat attention-seeking selfie from Bieber. Or a Candy Crush game show.

I can’t promise that Bieber won’t get his scrawny ass out on Instagram again. I do, however, know that Candy Crush is definitely hitting a TV near us soon. For some damn reason.

You know how it can be with blockbuster games. They hit every motherfreaking format you can think of, from consoles to PC to fancy-ass Japanese toilets with LCD screens. Once they’re done with that, they head on over to another industry with a movie or something. I’ve never heard of one becoming a game show, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. Fans of the match three puzzling phenomenon will be happy, I guess.

“We are huge fans of Candy Crush and, like so many others, we know the ‘rush’ of advancing to the next level of the game,” said president of CBS Entertainment, Glenn Geller. “We’re excited to work with Lionsgate and King to adapt one of the world’s most popular and entertaining game franchises for television and make it available to its massive, passionate fan base who can watch and play along at home.”

So there you go. Consider yourselves warned. For that authentic touch, maybe contestants could be forced to pay lil’ microtransactions before they’re given each of their prizes?