chris-littlechild - October 19, 2016
Â I remember the first PC I ever owned. It was a huge white mothereffinâ€™ monstrosity of a thing, the size of the average studio apartment. The brand? Siemens Nixdorf (whoever they were). The OS? Windows 95. On this bad boy, I learned the elite clipart skills that every young professional needs to succeed in todayâ€™s world. Â
Why am I telling you this? Because Really Bad Chess brings every fond memory I have of my Siemens Nixdorf flooding back. The ancient bastard came with a small crop of games, as all PCs do, and some legendary stuff it had too. Goddamn Minesweeper, that one with the stickman skiing down the slope, and of course, a barebones bare-assed chess sim.
Now, Iâ€™ve never been a chess playing sort of guy. In my family, board games only come out at Christmas over at ma and pa's when everyoneâ€™s drunk, and theyâ€™re usually something simple as hell like checkers. Nobody knows the rules of chess. Nobody ever. And even if they do, they donâ€™t. Really Bad Chess knows this, and thatâ€™s why itâ€™s actually something I can get behind.
Whatâ€™s wrong with the above screenshot? Itâ€™d make Garry Kasparov foul his undercrackers in rage and confusion, thatâ€™s what. The twist with thisÂ iOS release is that players are given a random jumble of pieces at the start of the game. They each move according to conventional chess rules (although, as I say, no effer knows them), which makes for a brilliantly unbalanced slice of ridiculousness wrapped up in a retrotastic package.
Hereâ€™s Popo Gaming Channel to give you an ogle at the game in action.