Swimsuits

Kayslee Collins And Sahara Ray Home Style Hotness Cooking in Their Swimsuits for Galore

By Bill Swift | Jan 26th, 2015 @ 12:21 am

Kayslee Collins is my new favorite person in the whole wide world now. I wish I could make her a daisy necklace and put it over her neck while we both giggle because she’s wearing nothing other than the daisies. That would be mighty romantic, as I perceive romance to exist.

Kayslee and her gal model pal Sahara Ray decided to get all candid and loosey goosey swimsuit hottie in the home for this wonderful alluring shoot for Galore magazine. Kayslee almost takes her clothes off, but then suddenly remember she’s on a mission to drive me to the brink of insanity. Sent by the evil elves I crossed one dark evening in the past I suppose. Nevertheless, if I know myself well, and I do, we will be seeing much more of Kayslee Collins later today. Because daisy necklaces mean something. They just have to. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Jack Belli For Galore Magazine

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Kim Kardashian Sexy Swimsuits For Vogue Australia

By Bill Swift | Jan 16th, 2015 @ 2:48 pm

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Kim Kardashian isn’t giving up her title as one of the most requested to be photographed women by the major magazines. Say what you will of Kim, some of it not that pleasant, but every editor at every fashion and style magazine wants hot photos of Kim in their magazine, or better yet, on their cover. She moves copies even as she moves the loins of men in her direction. Save the pretend games for when you’re speaking in public spaces. She’s got a curvy allure that has been working for a while now.

Kim’s latest appearance is on the pages of Vogue Australia. She spends a good deal of time pimping her family name Down Under, making her one of the most sought after celebrity names in that country. Everybody wants to see Kim in a bathing suit, her body literally made for such exhibition. She doesn’t disappoint. It’s a bit more glamorous than how we’re often used to seeing Kim, but, let her have her moment in the sun and just watch. There’s always time down the road for the negative stuff. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Vogue Australia

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Joanna Krupa Wears A Sexy One Piece At The Seminole Hard Rock

By Bill Swift | Jan 5th, 2015 @ 12:01 pm

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Joanna Krupa is being paid by the Seminole Hard Rock in Florida to hang out through the New Year’s holiday and basically just look sextastic. Hang by the pool in a form fitting swimsuit, gamble at the tables, party in the clubs. It’s quite a gig. And I’d say they make an excellent choice. If you’re going to lose your rent money and kids college fund somewhere, why not the place where Joanna is showing off her faptastic body and smiling like everything’s going to be okay. I usually just get a grumpy old dude with a mustache telling me too bad, I made some poor choices, then throwing me out of the casino.

I’ve lusted Joanna Krupa since our eyes first met, well, since my eyes met her photos, then eventually in person. You could do far worse than lining her up to be you’re everybody-very-happy girl pimping your hotel casino. I’d pack my bags if it weren’t for these silly interstate travel restrictions. Damn you ankle bracelet! Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Joanna Washing Her Man's Car Made His Day, and Mine

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Claudia Romani, The Italian Flag Swimsuit, and One Fine Thumper

By Bill Swift | Aug 19th, 2014 @ 1:24 pm

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I’m beginning to think Claudia Romani and her perfectly plump behind and I are getting somewhere. I received these photos in my mailbox I believe to be sent by Claudia’s hind-side in order to tease me into some kind of lasting proposal. It’s definitely working. I can barely move a muscle while my eyes are trained on the boot of this wicked wanton brunette from The Boot. I become paralyzed with thoughts of gentle spankings and all-over-loofah butt washes. Truly these are the happiest thoughts of my daily existence.

Someday, when society’s laws have caught up to the primal lust shared between myself and Claudia Romani’s killer tush, we shall become united as one with lots of candles and cheers and cheap booze we’re pretending isn’t so cheap. I shall wait for that day here in my Chair of Patience. But not much longer I hope. I can’t stand it. Stupid chair isn’t working. Enjoy.

CLAUDIA ROMANI'S KILLER TUSH INSPIRES ME TO SEMI SORT OF GREATNESS

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Chrissy Teigen Cleavetastic Swimsuit Madness for Esquire

By Bill Swift | Aug 14th, 2014 @ 11:19 am

Chrissy Teigen Cleavy Shoot in Esquire Magazine September 2014

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Chrissy Teigen kind of owns the world at the moment. SI covers, music artist husband, drunk ball tossing at Dodgers games. And, now this. One wicked hot spread for Esquire magazine that features our belusted Eurasian model in all kinds of glowing boobtastic and alluring outdoor swimsuit poses.

I’m not sure if Chrissy’s funbags are getting bigger or that’s just a trick of the camera or wardrobe or my ever imagining mind, but they certainly have a hold of me like a seal being taken down by a Great White. I can even feel her teeth. Chrissy, you are peaking at just the right time. That time is now. Enjoy.

Carmen Electra Swimsuit Crazy Sextastic in Galore

By Bill Swift | Jul 2nd, 2014 @ 11:40 am

Carmen Electra Super Hot in Galore Magazine Summer 2014

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I really do lust Carmen Electra. Since meeting her in person and her telling me sex is much better at 40 than 20 I’ve been completely smitten. It’s like she scanned my brain for its deepest darkest fantasy and just announced she was totally into that. I almost cried. Now I’m ready to shed a tear again seeing Carmen crazy body hot in these swimsuit photos for Galore magazine. Carmen isn’t just a veteran hottie, she’s a woman who knows just how damn alluring she is and absolutely loves it.

Oh, sure, I’m not immune to the charms of a young lovely coming up in the sextastic world. But give me a woman who knows what she wants and exactly how to get it done any day. I mean, she has to be semi-delusional enough to want me to help her get there, but wisdom and confidence sure is hot on a woman. Enjoy.

Charlize Theron Swimsuit Jet Skiing Veteran Hottie Goodness in Miami

By Bill Swift | Mar 21st, 2014 @ 8:34 am

Charlize Theron Flaunts Different Swimsuits on Miami Beach

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Talk about your sirens of the sea. And I do often talk about them myself. Charlize Theron continued shooting for something important I’m sure along the beach in Miami in various swimsuit wardrobe changes. Her favorite being her ride atop a Jet Ski as that’s how I imagine she show’s up at my lagoon front abode ready to throw me down on the ground and force me to do things my mother always told me would make me an indecent fellow.

Charlize Theron looks like a super fun gal who keeps herself in incredible shape. I can’t believe her current choice of boyfriends, but then I never really do. I’m here for you, Charlize. Bring a few of those tight swimsuits and an open mind and Im prepared to show you the best three to five minutes of your life. Enjoy.

CHARLIZE WORKS HARD FOR THE HARD BODY AT THE GYM