Nipple Pokes

Flashback: Courteney Cox Braless Nipple Pokes From Friends

Because Egotastic was born after the end of Friends, we never truly got a chance to express our appreciation for the real purpose of that show which was basically to show young sextastic actresses without bras. I know, you didn’t realize that, but I’m pretty sure everybody has copped to it by now. Most especially in this category was the lovely and lusciously lean Courteney Cox who routinely parades in form fitting tops without bras through the show. Laugh, didn’t laugh, it didn’t matter. She was worth watching.

On this random Wednesday I felt inspired to take a look back at some of Courteney’s best headlight poking moments from the show. Here’s the good news, if you never saw the show, you don’t need to know the story line to revel in these nipples. And if you did, delight in this pokie icing from the Courteney Cox cake. As it were. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: “Friends” NBC

Amanda Seyfriend See-Through Swimsuit Pokies Bends and Preens in Miami, Oh, My

Talk about your unexpected moments of glory. Amanda Seyfried stripped down to her nude sheer one piece swimsuit for some photoshoot in Miami. Quite the alluring minxy little pose down from our Nordic princess. I do believe I can see right through that bathing suit. In fact, my last three hours of non-stop staring confirms my suspicions. Seyfried boobtastic.

I’m not sure exactly what Amanda was shooting on the early morning nipple hardening chilly beach morning, but it involved lots of bending over and ballet posing which either means she’s shooting for a women’s hygiene product or it’s my birthday. Either way I’ll consider it a gift. We haven’t see this blond petite pale goddess in some time really. What a pleasant way to re-make acquaintances. My mouth wide open staring at her butt checks. I always do announce myself, I don’t want to give anyone a heart attack. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Maitland Ward Won My Super Bowl Party By Two Ginger Pokies

Let’s face it. The winning Super Bowl party is the one with the hottest girl serving up the chips and dip and just a beer or four. In that case, the winning party was the outdoor fiesta staged by Maitland Ward and photographer David Edwards to highlight the sensual seduction of the boobtastic ginger crush, Maitland Ward. In the past several months Maitland has shown a penchant for stealing every single event on the calendar, now including the Super Bowl with her PBR and salted snack chip tank top pose downs.

You know I’m a sucker for a hot ginger. But a hot busty nipple poking ginger holding all the nutrition I need in any given day, well that’s something of a heaven sent angel. You can’t just ignore signs like these. It’s time to ask Maitland Ward to be my Valentine’s. The worst that could happen is she says no and I cry a river of tears, but a yes, oh, boy, even more moisture shall ensue. Enjoy.

Photo Credit:

Kendall Jenner Braless Nipple Pokes The Best Part of Paris Fashion Week to Date

Who said fashion week was good for nothing? Okay, I am the one who usually says that, but inevitably something pops up that changes my mind. Or pops out. Like Kendall Jenner nipples poking commando through her gray top which I’m sure costs a fortune but we’ll never know why. That’s called fashion.

Kendall was running to and fro through the streets of Paris over the weekend shopping and sightseeing and being seen and naturally preparing herself for whatever difficult role awaits her on the catwalk. Distant gazing and all. But she seems pretty excited by the entire milieu of the City of Light, her headlights bursting through like a seasoned ambitious model. Did you really think I’d let me distaste of haute couture cause me to miss Kendall Jenner nipples? Nay, monsieur. Nay. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Maitland Ward as Sexy Santa Is Oh, So Sweet and Cleavy Pokey

There isn’t a single event in Hollywood where Maitland Ward and her sweet curves aren’t a welcome sight. Tis the season for wonderful shows of Sexy Santa costumes for girls like Maitland who bring their own Santa’s bag of tricks with them everywhere they go. If you need something to put you into the holiday spirit, just stare deeply into that racktastic bit of wonderment.

Christmas really is my favorite time of the year, in no small part thanks to how sextastic elves and Santa’s helpers have taken over the holiday by sheer force of being amazing looking. Maitland Ward is most definitely a North Pole treat that will leave you feeling the tug of gravity around your Southern Pole. That innuendo wasn’t even hardly veiled. Job well done, Maitland. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News / GSI

Charli XCX Deep Cleavage Nipple Pokes Hotness at 103.5 KISS FM’s Jingle Ball 2014 Backstage

Boobtacular pop princess Charli XCX was busting out of her cleavtastic jumpsuit at 103.5 KISS FM’s Jingle Ball. This thing had a plunging neckline that left little to the imagination. Charli has a pretty spectacular rack made all the better by her penchant for showing it off. It must have been chilly there because there was definitely some nipple pokeage going on that night. Some people criticize these young girl singers for being hyper sexualized. I say it’s a good thing. There is nothing wrong with young ladies looking up to girls that happen to dress in little to no clothes. Feminism doesn’t mean being frumpy.

I wonder how I snag an invite to next year’s Jingle Ball? It was a veritable schmorgasbord of hotties. I’d like to eat at that buffet table of sexiness.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Alexis Ren Could Not Be Hotter or More Barely Legal

I stand accused of finding Alexis Ren to be just out of this universe in the hotness department. This blonde native L.A. model has twisted my insides and untwisted by outsides since the day I first laid peeps upon her. And, now, well, now Alexis is eighteen and I’ve got some things to say about Alexis in this uber sextastic Mitch Tomlinson photoshoot.

Things like, Alexis, might I inspect your navel for a couple hours while blindfolded. Consider it an ancient Inuit getting to know each other tradition prior to me making many many babies with you. I don’t necessarily want to raise the children, but we can find them good homes in celebrity domiciles while we proceed to make more. We shall be fruitful and multiple and not wear any clothing for the next decade or so as we go about our sacred mission of planting and reaping and repeating. Damn, you look so good. I would give up gluten for you. But, please, don’t make me. If we’re to create many miracles in many positions, I’m going to need some pizza. I think I just cried. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Mitch Tomlinson