Nipple Pokes Posts:

Elsa Pataky Nipples Excited to See Egotastic! Back Up and Running

Who knows how long the server gods will favor us with uptime, but Thor's wife, Elsa Pataky, got a little firm in the nips when she heard technology fails could not forever triumph over funbag exhibitions and we were back up and running.

In return for Elsa's headlight excitement and the return to 1997 standards of website uptime, I have vowed to triple my efforts to bring the best in celebrity sextastic coverage, provided it won't send me to prison with labels that will get me split open from an uncomfortable end and that it not take, you know, any more work. The NFL season officially begins tonight. I can only dedicate so much resources in the Fall to non-NFL watching time. I'm only human. Enjoy.

Rumer Willis Poking Braless In The Big Apple

Rumer Willis hasn't always been the recipient of universal lusting praise, but I must say, she's looking really rather alluring these days. It's not just her love of bare chests, no bras, showy tops and the likes, she just seems to have a new ray of sunshine deep in her sunshiney areas.

Rumer was out and about in Manhattan, buying some lingerie for somebody special, maybe me, but  probably not. She seemed excited in either case as her headlights pointed directly down Broadway like directional signals. I'm not exactly sure how Rumer Willis spends her days, but so long as she doesn't spend them putting on undergarments, consider me a big supporter of her routine. C'mon, Rumer, flash them guns. Daddy needs a new smile. Enjoy.

Minka Kelly Braless Nipple Pokes Her Most Exciting Work in Years

Let's be honest. I'd shank any of you in the showers for sixty seconds of conjugal time with Minka Kelly. She's hot. She's always been hot. She will always be hot. But, she's super boring from the gentleman ogler's perspective. Always covered in public running to and fro her various appointments. Rarely out decked out. Rarely showing much skin. Rarely giving us the treats we so desperately desire from this sextastic siren. She seems content with the modest and demure life, we obviously can not be so content.

So, to see Minka out in a fitted dress with apparently no bra and her headlights working their way toward the sunlight was quite a thrill. It might be a standard for many lust-inducing celebrities we cover, but for Minka, this is a major reveal and something of a show stopper. Oh, how we wish for much more from Minka. But for today, I shall seek solace in the Minka nips and those absolutely perfect melons beneath. Enjoy.

Ashley Greene Nipple Pokes Make a Long Awaited Appearance

I'm not sure where Ashley Greene has been hiding of late, but I can tell you most certainly her award winning nipples have missed the spotlight.

Ashley's nipples became rather famous for poking through many a top during her Twilight fame years. You can't just take the fine headlights of a super fine woman and expect to contain them behind some veil of modesty. Nay. So long as the sun shines, the pokiest and most succulent nipples in the land will find their way to recognition. Ashley, we dig you big time all over. We miss you dearly. And your nipples, well, I'm just glad they're back. Now, I need a hanky. For my tears, you pervert. Okay, maybe two hankies. Enjoy.

Sophie Simmons Big Wet Nipples Steal The Underwater Photo Show

Well, this is different. If you can put aside what some might consider a desecration of the Stars and Stripes, this Aleks Kocev H2o shoot of Sophie Simmons, first daughter of Gene and Shannon, is rather unique and alluring and most definitely, big ole nipple inspiring. Sophie definitely has some headlights that love to come out and play slippery when wet.

We don't see a lot of Sophie outside of her reality TV appearances. Kind of a shame. She seems like she has some talent in the teasy photo subject department. Perhaps her dad will put down the Uzi and let her play in front of the cameras a bit more. There seems like much more to give. I breathlessly await. Now stow that nipple before somebody loses and eye. Enjoy.

Britney Spears Nipples Could Never Really Be Contained

This is one of those rare times when Britney Spears was out and about with an appropriate sort of undergarment and that did little to stop her ever-yearning nipples from making their break-through toward the warm Southern California sun. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, Britney's nips rarely need a reason to poke out of her tops and dresses and say howdy to the general public. She is a natural performer.

Britney, on behalf of the gentleman oglers who have been peering at your pert headlights for oh so many years, I'd like to thank you for making the lack of effort to keep those pointed nubs covered. That and your music have been a real treat, though mostly the nipples really. Enjoy.

Selena Gomez Braless Nipple Pokes and Pushed Up Boobtastic Galore!

I've never quite been in lust with minxy little Selena Gomez more than today perhaps. Not only has she broken up with The Devil's Midget for the seventeenth time, and who knows, this one could stick, but she proudly asserted her independence by pushing up her funbags to a fare-thee-well and going braless in New York, showing off her racktastic and nipples like she was a young woman on a mission. And really the most noble mission of all, sweet exhibition.

Selena's social media once again indicates she's going through a rough patch. It always amazes me that accomplished, successful, beautiful young women would ever have such down times. Emotions and romance are a bitch for sure. Selena, if you ever need someone to talk to, well, your mom seems super nice. I have to admit I'm a horrible listener. But I do think you are wicked hot and I will fight anybody who says otherwise. I hope that helps in some way. Enjoy.