Nipple Pokes Posts:

Jessica Alba Nipple Pokes Because She’s Damn Glad to Meet You

Now that Jessica Alba has fully immersed herself in motherhood and the business she launched related therein, you simply won't find her showing off much in public anymore. Not that she was exactly an exhibitionist before, but now she's got a couple million moms trusting her mommy opinion on products and services and she has to be a little more stately in her appearance. I know, I cried too when I first realized this new status quo for Jessica.

Nevertheless, you can run, but you can't hide the headlights just dying to be noticed for the paparazzi cameras on a big trip to New York. It's not the least bit cold in the Big Apple so I'm going to assume Jessica's nipples were just excited to be out on the town, in the big city, reaching toward the Empire State building and other altitude attractions with zeal and fervor. Jessica may never let them out to play in public, but out they will come nonetheless. Free the nipple -- or they shall free themselves! Enjoy.

Emmy Rossum Awesome Nipple Pokes in Hollywood Stretch Pants Outing

Oh, Emmy Awesome, how I count the moments in between our meetings with such sweet sorry. I'm at infinity and still counting, but I never give up hope that someday you'll see the light and realize that my insane levels of passion for your sextastic are the highest form of flattery. If only I could actually get paid for that.

I'd like to think that Emmy's poking headlights in Hollywood over the weekend are a sign that she's been reading my letters. I actually form them to work on multiple levels, she could just smell them and imbue my intentions. Yes, Emmy, lime green tank top nipple pokes. I am receiving your message loud and clear. Well, I might need to adjust the knobs just a tad. I promise, this won't hurt. Enjoy.

Ashley Greene Nipple Pokes Mean Twelve More Weeks of Summer

And summer hasn't even officially started yet. Albeit whenever the girls start wearing the sheer tops and their nipples get excited to see the sun for the first time in a while, I'm going to call the solstice officially upon us. Especially when that girl happens to be belusted hottie Ashley Greene, flashing her headlights in Studio City.

There's no struggle greater than that of a blessedly hot set of nipples yearning to be free. I think that's written somewhere on the Statue of Liberty. At least, it should be. It's perhaps not the only body part on Ashley Greene begging to be unleashed, but the only one you can see in public. Welcome, summer, bring us the best of your nips! Enjoy.

Lisa Rinna Nipple Pokes Are Basically Unstoppable

Maybe someday science will invent a clothing material strong enough to counter the power punching capabilities of Lisa Rinna nipples. Maybe someday, but not today. I'm not sure what part is nature and what part is science, but through the years, Lisa has had some of the most powerful, yearning to be free headlights in all of Tinsel Town.

Lisa was on a hike with her husband who we omitted from the photos because he's a dude so we don't care a hoot about him. Her nips were poking so hard through at least two layers of Spandex that you could almost feel the burn. You can't stop Lisa's power pokes, you can only hope to barely hardly not really contain them. She could probably cut through glass with her protruding points. In the least, I'd sure like to see her try. Enjoy.

Hilary Duff Nipples Are Happy to Be Exercising

Hilary Duff is getting herself back into fine ole shape after a near divorce and a youngin' and some very odd romantic overtures from Aaron Carter, and her nipples at least seem happy to be back in the gym

The former TV starlet has remained ever cute, even as her shape has changed through the years, now headed in the hot mommy direction, completely with yoga pants and some headlights poking through her sports bra outside the gym. This is the standard m.o. for young celebrity moms that we've come to almost take for granted here in Los Angeles. Almost. But not quite when Hilary's high beams are shining on. I shall never forsake a good nipple poke. Enjoy.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Sheer Nipple Poking Top Delivers Sunshine in Malibu

I'm going to officially call this a new trend. Maybe it's an old trend that is new again, but for some inexplicable and entirely fortunate and blessed reason, the hot ladies of Tinsel Town are no longer wearing bras beneath their sheer tops. Maybe they burned their bras in feminist protest, or, more likely, their wardrobe klatch friends and assistants have assessed that this is the new height of fashion sensation.

I certainly feel sensational peeking at the poking nipples of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley casually promenading in Malibu as if we are not all staring at her petite but so sweet funbags. Who says fashion is boring? Well, I do, but not today in the new era of braless boobtastic see-through tops. I couldn't be happier about modern style. Enjoy.

Lily Allen Nipple Poking Her Way Through the Big Apple

I'm not sure what's happening along the East Coast of the U.S., but apparently it's causing women's nipples to become rather rigid this past weekend. Maybe that's a Noreaster or a Polar Vortex or just what might be called The Egotastic! Effect, but sextastic celebrities headlights were on full beam this weekend, including Lily Allen who I guess didn't get the memo on brisk temperatures and sheer sweaters without good support. To our benefit most indeed as the British recording artist cruised Manhattan poking proudly like an English pop star ought when in America.

I'm not sure if the Age of Aquarius is truly dawning and we're going to see less an less discreet wear from the ladies up top, but I surely hope so. It would give me some closure on all these candles I've been lighting for years in hopes that governments around the world finally ban bras for good looking women. It's time for this measure of modernization. Enjoy.