You know the MTV Movie Awards might just be the most inane movie awards of the year in Hollywood. That’s saying something. But being MTV and tradition and Viacom and all that, the big league hotties still come out to play on the red carpet for the silly bit of pretend cinema accolades. Girls such as Hailee Steinfeld all grown up now and flashing sextastic, Emily Ratajkowski exhibiting a case of the cleavetastic, and Jennifer Lopez, the godmother of red carpet hotness, flashing deep cleavage and a hem line that would’ve got her arrested a few decades ago. As it is, these girls and more were visually arresting much of the lower half of my body during the arrivals.
Tinsel Town is the ultimate oxymoron in entertainment. So much of it is horrid, but so much of it is filled with the world’s most beautiful women. That might be a conflict for many people, but the Egotastic! man knows how to ignore the craptastic in favor of the sextastic. The MTV Movie Awards were loaded with hotties. Put on the blinders and enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Let’s be honest. There’s really no reason for the MTV Movie Awards each year. MTV doesn’t even run music anymore, let alone have movie coverage outside of paid advertisements. The show hasn’t been fun since my fond memories of going with Tila Tequila to the red carpet to raise a ruckus and have Tila shot out her love for celebrity lady nest to all the MTV celebs.
Nevertheless, it’s Viacom which means publicity and some fine looking babes pimping various projects and showing up all hot and bothered. Hot at least. The parade of sextastic ladies at this year’s event included boobtastic Rita Ora, Rihanna, Jessica Alba, Nicki Minaj, Bella Thorne, Debby Ryan and others little bits of decked out delight. As for the show itself, let’s just say checking out these good looking ladies is 99.9% of the entertainment value from the entire evening’s events. Enjoy.
I actually had fun a couple years back now at the MTV Movie Awards with our friend Tila Tequila. The show had already dropped to unwatchable standards at that point, but it was at least fun. Now, everybody who appeared at the show looked like they had been kidnapped and forced to dress up and smile and talk about how much they love so-and-so from some craptastic MTV reality show (assuming so-and-so is still alive, or not in jail).
J-Woww brought her puppies out to play, and they tried to save the evening from the ensuing debacle, but even they along with the hottie likes of Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, and Ariana Grande could not save the ev evening. The ultimate dilemma for Egotastic! is a sextastic hot teacher stripping off her clothes whilst scratching her nails down a chalkboard. MTV is now way too much chalkboard. Enjoy.
Sour grapes from us being banned from the MTV Movie Awards this year? Eh, maybe. But that show, that network, has really sunk to the bottom of the bowl like a turd trying to be first in line to hit the expressway home to the sewer line, which leads to a bunch of rehabbing inane drunkards checking into the Jersey Shore house for the sixth time on the East Coast while a bunch of mostly no-named, faceless rubes were paraded down the MTV red carpet last night and we were told they were fun and interesting and exciting people. Yeah, not so much.
However, MTV being owned by a much larger parent corporation, and still being a churning marketing machine to a teen audience of future postal workers, the studios did gear up some of their A-listers currently in theaters to pimp their wares at the award show, which led to the tremendous silver lining of the hotness likes of Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson and Jenna Dewan and Shailene Woodley and Victoria Justice and Ciara (who we did mostly include because of her sweet boobtastic show). And while the smiles were fake and the words polished, the hot bodies were still very much worth ogling. Enjoy.
There will be no Justin Bieber flashing pre-approved gang signs this year.
No Jonas Brothers all pretending to be straight.
No Ashton Kutcher fawning to be America’s lovable sweetheart.
No awards for not so good movies that came out over a year ago that you barely remember but they share parent companies with MTV.
And no pimping to vomitorious degrees of their inane programming.
MTV has barred the doors shut on Egotastic! and denied us entry to their magical kingdom of drunk violent pregnant teens and drunk violent pregnant early 20-somethings and drunk violent…well you get the idea. Once the ‘M’ stopped standing for “Music’ it was like taking gambling out of Vegas. Oh, man, how they’d scramble to put some crap together to keep people coming, something, anything.
But, apparently, we are too scary for the craptastic network and they did not approve of our 2011 coverage of the award show.
We sally forth, with the good news that will have more time to cover E3 this year in Los Angeles, because gamers don’t have swagger coaches or need auto-tuning. It’s all good.
It’s that time of the year again when the best of the best get recognized for being a hit at the box office or with the critics. We’re officially swinging into awards season, starting out with the 2012 MTV Movie Awards.
Wondering if your favorite movie made the cut? Check out the list of nominees after the jump to find out!
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WARNING: Tila has a mouth like a drunken sailor on shore leave. Don’t watch this recap if you’re easily offended by words whose utterance had many of us routinely in the elementary school principal’s office.
We were so proud of our-own-uneducated-selves for figuring out how to make a 4G cell phone run our livestream from the 2011 MTV Movie Awards this past Sunday that we forgot that we had a backup camera rolling to capture the event, and our toasted hostess with the mostess, Tila Tequila, covering the red carpet live.
Here’s a three minute recap of the afternoon we had out there at Universal, and, despite the fact that all the big celebrities came racing by at 30-knots surrounded by a posse of uptight publicists, we still had a blast. For those who missed the live feed, take a gander. Enjoy.