Esquire magazine Posts:

Anastasia Ashley Hot Booty Beauty Show for Esquire

I like to think of Anastasia Ashley as my surfer girlfriend. She likes to think of me as that guy she pays another guy to keep away from her at public events. That's about as close to a healthy relationship as I can must with sextastic beach girls with super stellar booties. I'm the victim here I'm sure you'll note.

Anastasia appears in one devilishly angelic booty rocking pictorial in the new edition of Esquire magazine. This hang ten alluring young lady is slowly climbing up the rungs of the notoriously passion inducing ladies of Tinsel Town, a climb that I'm going to watch from below while holding the ladder and pretending I'm not peeking. She really deserves everything she gets. A cool surfer chick with a stellar female form. I couldn't wish her more luck. Or, you know, a nekkid photoshoot. C'mon, Anastasia, it's time for civic duty on overload. Enjoy.

Rihanna Crazy Hot Sweaty and Covered Topless in Esquire

Wow. Damn. And one more wow. I don't care if you're a Rihanna luster such as myself or not, you have to admit this Bajan diva photographs like just about none other. You throw in half-nekkid wardrobe, covered topless, and all kinds of water and oil spray downs, and this Rihanna picture set in the December edition of Esquire magazine is simply off the charts. I'm not sure who makes the charts, but if you do, please let them know they might need a bigger chart.

I've been fond of Rihanna since first we met in the virtual eyeballing era. That body on this sultry pop star, it's just an epically cut diamond in the heavenly rough. Those long taut legs and tight abs and beautiful boobtastic all wrapped in a preening, posing, exhibitionist unctuous shimmering form. It's just something to behold. And or hold if you ever should be so fortunate. Well done, Rihanna. We've got room on the bandwagon if you want to climb aboard. Enjoy.

Penelope Cruz Cleavetastic Hotness for Esquire

Penelope Cruz is another one of our brunette sultry Latina timeless beauties. She just seems to be getting hotter and hotter with each passing season. I suppose I could blame this on how relatively more desperate I'm becoming, but I'm pretty sure the rest of you agree with me as to Penelope's veteran hot mommy status.

Featured flashing her deep sweet cleave in Esquire magazine, Penelope reminds us all that pretty much every running off to Spain and making love to a beautiful Iberian girl fantasy involves somebody who looks an awful lot like Penelope Cruz. And most likely Penelope's ample bosom and fine female form. If you can't feel her hair waving over you and she yells out the names of the saints in Spanish, you're simply not fantasizing strongly enough. Enjoy.

Chrissy Teigen Cleavetastic Swimsuit Madness for Esquire

Chrissy Teigen kind of owns the world at the moment. SI covers, music artist husband, drunk ball tossing at Dodgers games. And, now this. One wicked hot spread for Esquire magazine that features our belusted Eurasian model in all kinds of glowing boobtastic and alluring outdoor swimsuit poses.

I'm not sure if Chrissy's funbags are getting bigger or that's just a trick of the camera or wardrobe or my ever imagining mind, but they certainly have a hold of me like a seal being taken down by a Great White. I can even feel her teeth. Chrissy, you are peaking at just the right time. That time is now. Enjoy.

Kate Mara Lounging in Lingerie Shivers Me Timbers

House of Cards helped me fall in lust with Kate Mara all over again. She really has the sextastic minx thing working overtime. Featured on the pages of Esquire magazine, Kate shows exactly why she works that cute girl next door routine like just about no other. I really can picture her next door to me and filling out those restraining orders my neighbor ladies always feel as necessary for some silly reason.

Kate Mara, lingerie, and a working couch are all I need to be happy. Well, maybe a little Warrant on in the background to set the mood and prepare the lady for the lovemaking of her life. Well, of my life most certainly. Maybe I'll get a single line in her diary. I'd consider that a big win. Enjoy.

Karen Gillan Mini-Undies Pictorial in Esquire is Majorly Hot

Karen Gillan obviously has a massive nerd army fan base from her Dr. Who days. Well, geek boys living in the basement, prepare to meet your maker via excessive fapitation after feasting peeps upon Karen in her bra and panties in some memorable photos in Esquire magazine to promote Karen's role in Guardians of the Galaxy out soon.

Karen is the proverbial ginger cutie next door that you pray doesn't realize she forgot to lower her blinds. Not that I would encourage peeping in private moments, but what happens in the hedges stays in the hedges as far as I'm concerned. Just look at Karen and tell me you're not straining your neck for a sneaky peek. She really has got that magic allure of perhaps not so innocent. Can not wait for Guardians of the Galaxy, or for Karen to decide the bra is too much. Enjoy.

Cameron Diaz Sextastic and Slightly Moist in Esquire

Cameron Diaz is pimping her new movie Sex Tape. And while her promotions include telling everybody she shot a scene nekkid for the movie, don't expect that to pan out into flesh exhibitions in the cut you see onscreen. We've been burned too many times by A-list actresses to believe in that hype any longer. Still, promotion for a Sex Tape movie of course has to include a few showy pictorials, including this sultry posing in Esquire magazine where Cameron Diaz confirms her spot on my Forty and Faptastic list of veteran hotties. She works hard to keep herself in shape, including lots of making of the sexy time to keep the hormones in balance. That and yoghurt I believe are the real key to lasting beauty.

Cameron, you still lift my boat high in the water. You've been doing it for twenty years now. You deserve some special attention and I intended to give it to you for at least the next seven to twelve minutes as I gaze upon your still sweet female form. You might feel a little sting. Enjoy.