Esquire magazine Posts:

Lake Bell Covered Topless and Body-Hottie for Esquire

Lake Bell truly has one of the finest female forms in all of Hollywood. It's so vastly underrated. Not by me, mind you, as I say a little prayer to Lake's body each evening, mostly in relation to finding her nekkid in my bed when I get home. That one hasn't panned out yet, but I'm not giving up now.

Featured in the new edition of Esquire magazine, Lake puts on some skimpy see-through lingerie thingees just to remind everybody just how toned and curvy her sextastic lady parts are, even if she's always omitted from superlative lists when it comes to girls in Hollywood who raise your temperature the most upon viewing. I'll take Lake Bell and a bottle of whipped cream any day. Whipped cream being optional. Enjoy.

Jessica Pare Covered Nekkid in a Pool for Esquire

The thought of swimming nekkid with Jessica Pare surely is a tantalizing idea. The tall long and Frenchy-style lean thespianic has always had quite the naughty girl allure since many of us first fell for her in her classic lesbian teen making of the sexy scenes on screen.

While I can't give Esquire magazine full credit on this wonderful pictorial, seeing as how we don't really see Jessica's finer parts, I do give props for a wonderful tease from a well-alluring woman with a sparkling personality. Now we just need to see the source of the sparkle. I'm ready for this, Jessica. Enjoy.

Alejandra Guilmant Is Really Good Looking and Covered Topless in Esquire Mexico

Me and like 500 million other guys I know have thing for super hot Latina ladies with killer bodies and alluring poses. So why not share in the visual delights of Alejandra Guilmant, Mexican fashion model turned cover girl for Esquire Mexico wherein her top treats are decidedly hand-bra'd, but her total sextastic is well on display.

I'd like to think that Alejandra is currently imagining making many babies with me, as I am with her, though that might be a little naive on my part. She's a model, she probably wants me to make the babies with her hot looking girlfriend all surrogate like. I'm down for that Alejandra, provided you hold my hand the entire time. We shall sing the songs of ancient Mayans together, you and I. Enjoy.

Sienna Miller Covered Topless Hotness in Black and White for Esquire

Sienna Miller just sounds like a classy girl. If I didn't know more about her various and storied past, she'd seem like a demure vixen straight out of one of those Downton Abbey type shows. But I do know about her past, which makes her even more alluring to me. Because who wants a girl in seventeen layers of proper British aristocratic clothing when you can have Sienna on the pages of Esquire magazine in hardly any clothes at all.

You can see why men have fought and failed and fallen over Sienna Miller so hard in the past dozen years or so. I mean, men with options, not just the high school boys trying to get into her knickers. Sorry, I just love to say knickers. She really is a special sweet looking treat in this very smashing pictorial. Enjoy.

Anne Vyalitsyna in Lingerie for Esquire

Do you happen to like hot Russian supermodels in their lingerie. If so, my friend, you are in the right place.

Anne Vyalitsyna is getting into some little silky nothings for Esquire magazine, just maybe to show her old boyfriend what he's missing, to attract some new boyfriends, or simply just to make us smile broader today all over. Something about her hands on those pink bra straps leave me wondering if this scene is about to get a whole lot better when the camera stops rolling. It often does. This is the main reason for a man to own a camera. Enjoy.

Beth Behrs Leggy Goodness in Esquire

While I do have a prejudice against girls with silent letters in their names, going back to a girl in grade school with a silent 'g' in her name who broke my heart, Beth Behrs is TV thespianic hotties gaining serious traction in the libidos of men-kind. While it's easy to be overshadowed by the likes of co-star Kat Dennings and her outrageous bosom, Beth is coming out of the shadows and flashing serious leggy hotness in her new spread in Esquire magazine.

After seeing Beth in her little bits of lingerie, I'm inclined to place her on the pedestal of my fantasy girl hierarchy right next to Kat, or, even better, place her to the right of Kat with me positioned firmly in betwixt their sextastic. Mmm, naughty monkey in the middle. Now there's a sport. Looking might fine today, Beth Behrs. Enjoy.

Emmy Rossum Is So Hot In Esquire That I Actually Might Start Crying

You can mock my very sensitive emotional state, but not before you take a long leer at the ridiculously sextastic Emmy Awesome covered topless in Esquire magazine and see if you don't feel like shedding a few crocodile tears of happiness. Emmy is just a special treat even when she's not trying to look amazing. When she turns on the afterburners to start pimping another season of Shameless, it's time to call the boss and let him know you're coming in late for work tomorrow. You might also want to pre-advise your landlord about generic plumbing issues.

Featured in the new edition of Esquire magazine, Emmy makes sweet passion inducement seem so damn easy, with a gift few women in this world are so fortunate to receive. Just the special few on my Wall of Fame. It's really my ceiling, but I've learned through the years that nobody wants to talk about what's on your ceiling. Either way, Emmy is there, I'm looking right at her. So hot! Enjoy.