Covered Topless

Micaela Schaefer Wearing Nothing But Love For Valentine’s

At this point, German model Micaela Schaefer seems to spend most of her waking hours mostly nekkid at the Brandenburg gate in Berlin. Everybody has their hobby. Who am I too judge. Especially when the result is the tall busty brunette flashing her funbags throughout much of the German daylight hours. For the holiday this week, covered especially in just Valentine’s Hearts. As if you needed directions to the sweet spots.

Micaela Schaefer is another one of those sextastic celebrities who help raise the bar in terms of public exhibitionism. Others see her and think, hmm, maybe I better start getting a little racier in my own promotional work. To which I think back, hmm, that would be ever so nice. We need trendsetters. If they’re hot models, all the better. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Kendall Jenner Topless and Kim Kardashian Bottomless But Morphed Patched Up Oddities in Love Magazine

I must admit. This one is beyond me, but I just had to share.

Love Magazine is releasing a rather elaborate photo spread of Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, and Kim Kardashian where they are shot to look like something out of strange pulp sci-fi noir novels or something along those lines. Included are Kendall Jenner with digitally smooshed ta-ta’s blown up and covered in digital pasties along with Kim Kardashian nekkid save for some post-production marks and Kylie Jenner blonde anime looking. The three of them for some reason hyper-stylized into something rather less than normal appeal. Why? I do not know. Art, I guess. Hence, my disagreement with art as a legit subject matter. I’m all for the experimentation of the creative mind in visual form, but if you’ve got Kendall Jenner willing to flash her boobtastic and Kim exposing her bare behind, isn’t that the time for some photo realism? I’m a simple cad, I know. But I’m also right, am I not? Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Love Magazine

Cara Delevingne Covered Topless in Jewels

I believe this is actually a jewelry ad? Maybe just accessorizing in general as Britty young it girl model Cara Delevingne doesn’t seem to be wearing much else. Not that that’s a bad thing. It surely allows us to see more of what she’s really selling which is her bare sextastic and model allure, that special quality that makes men want her and women want to buy from her. Though with Cara, it also makes women want her, or vice-versa, as her lesbionic reputation continues to grow out in the modeling world and the deep recesses of my libido.

Cara is one of those unique looking girls that perhaps doesn’t fit the classic definition of statuesque model beauty, but certainly has an appeal all her own. As connected as she is, these merch pimpers would not be paying her top dollar to hawk their wares were she not super effective in her rolling around half-nekkid skill set. She seems to be doing fine from where’s I’m standing, err, sitting, err, hunched around my computer monitor. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: John Hardy

Maitland Ward And Elle Alexandra Celebrate International Kiss A Ginger Day

Maitland Ward and Elle Alexandra showed their redhead pride in this photo shoot for International Kiss A Ginger Day. I didn’t know that was a thing but I’m all for it. The two pale beauties frolicked in a bed in frilly red lingerie. You wouldn’t think red underwear would work given their hair color but it does, oh yes, it does. The two then dispense with the clothes all together and just use each other to cover up their toplessness. This is as good a time to discuss the growing prejudice against gingers. Friends, it’s time that we appreciate our pale red-haired neighbors, especially if they are as hot as Maitland and Elle. There is nothing sexier on God’s Earth than a beautiful ginger girl. Surely we have all had a thing at one point in our lives for some fire-crotched lovely at school or work.

So, let’s get with the love and kiss a ginger today. But you know, only if she let’s you. Don’t force it.

Photo Credit: Splash

Jodie Marsh Touts Her Own Impressive Tan-Lined Funbags on Instagram

Not content to rest on her poolside vacation bikini candid laurels, big yammed Jodie Marsh took to her social media account to show a few things back in her hotel room that might just cost her her hotel privileges if she posed similarly down by the children.

I’ll say this for Jodie Marsh, she’s a true gamer. There’s no demure keeping her from being the best boobtastic exhibitionist she can be. I like the direct approach. Foreplay is for the birds. Literally, all that dancing around and chirping and building the most impressive nest. No, let’s cut right to the good part. The part where Jodie Marsh tantalizes with her tubes. Social media has so many uses, but only one that really counts. Well done, Ms. Marsh. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kate Upton Cleavetastic SI Outtakes Will Blow Your Freaking Bobos (New Bobos Not Included)

Have you ever thought to yourself, boy, I wish there were a way I could really injure myself today with a happy smile and perhaps a touch of tendonitis? Well today is your lucky day, my easily chaffed friend. Kate Upton cleavetastic faptastic and all around racktastic outtakes from Sports Illustrated, in anticipation of the ultimate release of the 2015 SI Swimsuit edition coming down the line.

For those who weren’t already infatuated with Kate Upton, and those who missed her more intimate poses during the Fappening, well, prepare to take your lifelong commitment ceremony to Kate Upton lust. She really does photograph ever so well. I think it has something to do with being crazy sextastic with a set of knockers kings used to go to war over. They probably still do. The straight ones at least. My, oh, my, how the winter becomes the best bathing suit time of the year. Take that, Heat Miser. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

Monika Jagaciak Lingerie and Arm Bras Covered Topless for Victorias Secret

Monikia Jagaciak makes my heart flutter, my toes curl, and my face blush. And that’s just from saying her name. Seeing the sextastic young Polish model in her panties and bras makes me go into something of a catatonic state between joy and super duper joy, leaning heavily toward the latter. I’m inclined to believe people are born into certain professions and callings. They don’t always discover their natural course until later in life, if at all, but girls like Monika have others who help them identify their own innate fates. You, my dear, we born to model intimates.

Someday, when I launch my own lingerie company that investigators inevitable discover never produced any merchandise and was merely a ruse to get me close to international crazy hot models mostly nekkid, Monika Jagaciak will be on my short list of A-list must haves. I hope she doesn’t read that first part and still agrees to come to my secret island hideaway to be measured for the Spring line. Oh, yes, Monikia, you shall be measured. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret