Covered Topless

Alessandra Ambrosio Covered Topless And Other Fine Things To Ogle


Alessandra Ambrosio covered topless is my second day of Chanukah present. (The Superficial)

Karrueche frolics on the beach in a tiny bikini. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lawrence sports some tight leather pants and makes my Peeta happy. (Huffington Post)

You can see Candice Swanepoel‘s nips in this Victoria’s Secret spread. (Drunken Stepfather)

Danielle Knudson is an expert lingerie wearer. (Hollywood Tuna)

Are you ready for some Jehane “Gigi” Paris in a swimsuit? (Popoholic)

Jess Gysin can handle my volleyballs anytime. (COED)

Kendall Jenner Covered Topless in Love Magazine, The Full Hot Spread, As It Were

There’s simply no denying that Kendall Jenner has made the modeling industry her bitch. Silver spoon and family connections and not deserving her spot and all other criticisms that don’t really matter aside, Kendall is now one of the biggest gets in the fashion and photography business. I’m not sure she’s done anything particularly herself to cause this beneficial outcome, but she does look mighty tall and lean and hot, so that’s a big something.

Kendall’s Love magazine photos in black and white and hot all over have kind of trickled out in past weeks, but viewing the entire set is something of a spiritual experience. Love or hate the Kardashians, or even Kendall herself for whatever reason, I think you’d have to admit you see her underlying talent for this walking and posing sextastic mannequin line of work. She’s going to be huge. Good for you, Kendall. This is what you wanted and none of us oglers can hardly complain. You look good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Love Magazine

Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer Black and White and Biker Hot All Over for Acting Outlaws 2015 Calendar

Benevolent hot best biker riding buddies Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Galactica sci-fi faptastic fame produce their annual charitable calendar, Acting Outlaws, providing us the chance each year to see the girls nearly nekkid, holding their own, holding each other, and just giving the outlaw moniker a really good name.

One and one don’t make two, they definitely make four as veteran hotties Katee and Tricia show off their spectacular female forms in the teasy, but classiest of fashions. I have to imagine all that self-touching on set gets them in need of some of Uncle Bill’s lemonade, for which I would gladly volunteer to set up my stand on sight and hold up straws to their mouths so they can remain discreet. Ah, beautiful women in beautiful poses fondling their own funbags. It’s like Egotastic was called in to consult on process. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Acting Outlaws (go buy the charity calendar!)

Kate Upton Bikinis Bouncy Goodness Covered Topless for SI

Well hello there Kate Upton. What brings you to this beach all barely covered topless and outrageously sextastic looking in a barely bikini? Pimping Sports Illustrated? That sounds pretty solid. How about I give you a little neck-plus massage as you tell me about your latest gig.

Damn if Kate Upton doesn’t seem to look like she came forth topless from some sandy shore, like a mermaid who wished for human form so she could take to dry land and torment men. I can’t be sure of this theory of course, but this bosomy bombshell certainly never looks more at home and comfortable then when laying with her faptastic funbags in her hands across some exotic shoreline. Kate, consider me to be your humble slave. And remember, no task is too small or too intimate for me to be assigned. Give me an hour and an obscenely tiny washcloth and I will assure you there will be no sand left anywhere on your body. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

Pregnant Nicole Trunfio Topless Treats for Harper’s Bazaar Australia


I don’t see my lust for hot pregnant women as a curse, I see it as a blessing. For one, women will always get pregnant, that’s not ending any time soon. Secondly, the best looking women will always feel a need to show off their pregnancy, that’s a wonderful new thing. And finally, stop judging me! I do so lust the look of stellar women burgeoning with life, not to mention the milky udders that come as part of the package.

Nicole Trunfio has always been one of my Aussie transplant favorites. I actually cheered aloud when she moved to the U.S. to ply her craft, bare her wares, and inevitable produce future attractive next generations from her blessed womb. Why not share the miracle of her work quite unclothed in Harper’s Bazaar Australia. I’m not saying every woman with child should do the same, but let’s start with all the supermodels and expand the program from there. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Harper’s Bazaar Australia

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Ela Rose Covered Topless Beach Shoot for 138 Water

Sweet mother of funbags, Ela Rose has some amazing jugs. Seriously, they are exemplary. All other boobies of the world should stop what they are doing and learn a thing or three from Ela’s ta-tas. Mainly how to be really big and bouncy. In this photoshoot for our favorite overpriced agua, 138 Water, she showed off those impossibly perfect sweet meats by covering them with her hands. I mean, she tried to cover them up with her hands. Boobies of this magnitude cannot be contained by conventional means. All she succeeded in doing was covering the nips…barely. I’ve never actually drank this 138 Water but I’m going to start. I want to contribute to their business so that they keep doing photoshoots like this one.

I’m not really sure what really hot scantily clad women have to do with water but I’m pretty sure the ad guy who came up with this is a genius. “OK, so everyone needs to drink water. Everyone also wants to look at half-naked women…what if we combine the two?”. Bam! Advertising history made.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Maitland Ward Wears Christmas Lights over Her Bare Bodacious Pair

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you ogle. At least how Christmas looks in the Egotastic! house each season. Picking out the perfect topless girl to string lights and popcorn chains over each December is no easy feat. But revived bosomy hottie Maitland Ward seems determined to be picked out first at the topless girl Christmas tree lot this season, showing a fine example of the Yuletide spirit by hanging brilliant seasonal lights over her even more brilliant boobtastic.

Maitland has definitely been making a push of late for the men and Sapphic leaning women in the general audience to notice her plump chestal goodies. I certainly admire any woman who does half the work for us. When she’s got a body like Maitland, I admire her that much more. I do so love this annual season of sharing and giving and peace on earth. And, yeah, bare ta-ta’s underneath the mistletoe. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News