Covered Topless

Maitland Ward And Elle Alexandra Celebrate International Kiss A Ginger Day

Maitland Ward and Elle Alexandra showed their redhead pride in this photo shoot for International Kiss A Ginger Day. I didn’t know that was a thing but I’m all for it. The two pale beauties frolicked in a bed in frilly red lingerie. You wouldn’t think red underwear would work given their hair color but it does, oh yes, it does. The two then dispense with the clothes all together and just use each other to cover up their toplessness. This is as good a time to discuss the growing prejudice against gingers. Friends, it’s time that we appreciate our pale red-haired neighbors, especially if they are as hot as Maitland and Elle. There is nothing sexier on God’s Earth than a beautiful ginger girl. Surely we have all had a thing at one point in our lives for some fire-crotched lovely at school or work.

So, let’s get with the love and kiss a ginger today. But you know, only if she let’s you. Don’t force it.

Photo Credit: Splash

Jodie Marsh Touts Her Own Impressive Tan-Lined Funbags on Instagram

Not content to rest on her poolside vacation bikini candid laurels, big yammed Jodie Marsh took to her social media account to show a few things back in her hotel room that might just cost her her hotel privileges if she posed similarly down by the children.

I’ll say this for Jodie Marsh, she’s a true gamer. There’s no demure keeping her from being the best boobtastic exhibitionist she can be. I like the direct approach. Foreplay is for the birds. Literally, all that dancing around and chirping and building the most impressive nest. No, let’s cut right to the good part. The part where Jodie Marsh tantalizes with her tubes. Social media has so many uses, but only one that really counts. Well done, Ms. Marsh. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kate Upton Cleavetastic SI Outtakes Will Blow Your Freaking Bobos (New Bobos Not Included)

Have you ever thought to yourself, boy, I wish there were a way I could really injure myself today with a happy smile and perhaps a touch of tendonitis? Well today is your lucky day, my easily chaffed friend. Kate Upton cleavetastic faptastic and all around racktastic outtakes from Sports Illustrated, in anticipation of the ultimate release of the 2015 SI Swimsuit edition coming down the line.

For those who weren’t already infatuated with Kate Upton, and those who missed her more intimate poses during the Fappening, well, prepare to take your lifelong commitment ceremony to Kate Upton lust. She really does photograph ever so well. I think it has something to do with being crazy sextastic with a set of knockers kings used to go to war over. They probably still do. The straight ones at least. My, oh, my, how the winter becomes the best bathing suit time of the year. Take that, Heat Miser. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

Monika Jagaciak Lingerie and Arm Bras Covered Topless for Victorias Secret

Monikia Jagaciak makes my heart flutter, my toes curl, and my face blush. And that’s just from saying her name. Seeing the sextastic young Polish model in her panties and bras makes me go into something of a catatonic state between joy and super duper joy, leaning heavily toward the latter. I’m inclined to believe people are born into certain professions and callings. They don’t always discover their natural course until later in life, if at all, but girls like Monika have others who help them identify their own innate fates. You, my dear, we born to model intimates.

Someday, when I launch my own lingerie company that investigators inevitable discover never produced any merchandise and was merely a ruse to get me close to international crazy hot models mostly nekkid, Monika Jagaciak will be on my short list of A-list must haves. I hope she doesn’t read that first part and still agrees to come to my secret island hideaway to be measured for the Spring line. Oh, yes, Monikia, you shall be measured. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Alessandra Ambrosio Covered Topless And Other Fine Things To Ogle

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Alessandra Ambrosio covered topless is my second day of Chanukah present. (The Superficial)

Karrueche frolics on the beach in a tiny bikini. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lawrence sports some tight leather pants and makes my Peeta happy. (Huffington Post)

You can see Candice Swanepoel‘s nips in this Victoria’s Secret spread. (Drunken Stepfather)

Danielle Knudson is an expert lingerie wearer. (Hollywood Tuna)

Are you ready for some Jehane “Gigi” Paris in a swimsuit? (Popoholic)

Jess Gysin can handle my volleyballs anytime. (COED)

Kendall Jenner Covered Topless in Love Magazine, The Full Hot Spread, As It Were

There’s simply no denying that Kendall Jenner has made the modeling industry her bitch. Silver spoon and family connections and not deserving her spot and all other criticisms that don’t really matter aside, Kendall is now one of the biggest gets in the fashion and photography business. I’m not sure she’s done anything particularly herself to cause this beneficial outcome, but she does look mighty tall and lean and hot, so that’s a big something.

Kendall’s Love magazine photos in black and white and hot all over have kind of trickled out in past weeks, but viewing the entire set is something of a spiritual experience. Love or hate the Kardashians, or even Kendall herself for whatever reason, I think you’d have to admit you see her underlying talent for this walking and posing sextastic mannequin line of work. She’s going to be huge. Good for you, Kendall. This is what you wanted and none of us oglers can hardly complain. You look good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Love Magazine

Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer Black and White and Biker Hot All Over for Acting Outlaws 2015 Calendar

Benevolent hot best biker riding buddies Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Galactica sci-fi faptastic fame produce their annual charitable calendar, Acting Outlaws, providing us the chance each year to see the girls nearly nekkid, holding their own, holding each other, and just giving the outlaw moniker a really good name.

One and one don’t make two, they definitely make four as veteran hotties Katee and Tricia show off their spectacular female forms in the teasy, but classiest of fashions. I have to imagine all that self-touching on set gets them in need of some of Uncle Bill’s lemonade, for which I would gladly volunteer to set up my stand on sight and hold up straws to their mouths so they can remain discreet. Ah, beautiful women in beautiful poses fondling their own funbags. It’s like Egotastic was called in to consult on process. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Acting Outlaws (go buy the charity calendar!)