Cleavage Posts:

Aubrey O’Day Cleavetastic Galore For Universal City Music Show

Aubrey O'Day isn't a shy girl when it comes to her wardrobe. If you've got it, flaunt it, that's what I like to say. I don't got it, but Aubrey does, so I'm quite happy she chose to flaunt her epic sized tubes for the audience at her musical revue. Yes, I know, sometimes I forget she's a singer as well. It happens when hypnotized by the blessed bounty of her healthy bosom.

Aubrey O'Day has been in a fight with herself over her own identity. That's about how I sum it up. As with all girl fights, I've learned to stay out of the fray and just leer from a distance while munching on popcorn. It really is so much better than movies about giant car robots. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Cleavage Spills Out Of Her Blue Dress In Paris

Reality TV Queen and Mrs. Kanye Kim Kardashian was busting out of her  blue dress at an event in Paris. Kim was sporting a dress that was truly cleavetacular. The neckline plunged to her stomach which allowed a perfect view of her legendary funbags. As is often the case with Kim K, she forgot to wear a bra. I'm not entirely sure how these dresses stay on. Do they tape them? Do they stay closed by some kind of witchcraft? They seem to defy the laws of physics. You'd think that ta-tas as large as Kim's could not be contained in simple cloth. Whatever it is, her cleavage is un-effing-believable. As often as we find ourselves looking at pics of Kim's chest puppies it never gets old. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

That Kanye West is one lucky SOB. Not only is he a world famous rapper and super rich but he gets to go home every night and rest his weary head on those flesh pillows. I bet he sleeps very soundly.

Zahia Dehar, Jennifer Lopez And More Hotties At the Versace Fashion Show

Jennifer Lopez and her incredible butt led the bevy of hottness that was the Versace fashion show in Paris, (Yes, it was a bevy if not a plethora of hottness). J-Lo was looking as sexy as usual in a white dress that showed off her awe-inspiring cleavage. Her dress was also slit up the front so you can almost see her no-no spot. But it is, as always, J-Lo's booty that calls all the attention to itself. Is there a better more perfectly round butt out there? I submit to you that there is not. But Jen wasn't alone. Nina Dobrev was also on hand to give us stirring feelings in our swimsuit area. She was wearing a short red dress that featured most of her silky long legs. She's got some pretty spectacular thighs, y'all. Zahia Dehar was there as well and she brought her cleavage to the party. That was nice of her.

But it is Ayem Nour that wins the sexy outfit contest with what amounts to a jacket with no shirt or bra underneath. Her ta-tas are a sight to behold. I appreciate her decision to not wear a shirt and would like to invite her to not do so in the future.

Kim Kardashian Dropping Motorboat Fantasies Near the Shores in South Hampton

Look, I'm as tired of the Keeping Up with the Kardashian dreaded coven as the next guy. But when I see a celebrity with low cut tops and tremendous ta-ta's like Kim Kardashian, I can't deny my motorboating fantasies still kick in something fierce. You don't want to have to marry her (god forbid) to feel the sense of pride in imagining her floppy funions smothering you in the face as she tells you about all the must-see stuff in her new Hamptons spinoff.

Maybe I'm just speaking for myself at this point. But somebody besides my dog Mr. Flugelhorn needs to hear this. Kim Kardashian may not be the one to bring home to mother, but to my Red Roof Inn suite for a half an hour, motorboats away! I'm in. Enjoy.

 

Kim Kardashian Deep Big and Blue Boobs Steal the Show at Sister’s Birthday

You know how these things go. Don't invite your sister Kim if you want to be the center of attention at your own birthday party. As with any Kardashian personal event, Khloe's 30th birthday proved to be a TV exploitable event for the entire family, including Kim Kardashian who showed off her mammoth mammaries to ensure every paparazzi camera within ten miles of the Isle of Manhattan was trained on her chest. If you got it, flaunt it, baby. I'm sure Khloe wasn't happy, but then her personal wishes have to be sacrificed for the betterment of the entire gentleman ogling community which got two acres of Kim rack in the exchange.

I've never been a sister, or a girl, except occasionally in my dreams. I'm guessing this kind of upstaging does not go unnoticed. I know I noticed it. I suppose Kim will tell her little sister, hey, I can't help it, this is just how I was drawn. And she may just be right. Enjoy.

Dakota Fanning Butt Gate, It Was All Just a Dream

So, it turns out that the Dakota Fanning white pale booty as seen in Very Good Girls that I was replicating in marble in my living room was completely CGI phony. First, damn you technology, damn you straight to hell! Second, c'mon Dakota Fanning. I want to want you, but that is some weak sauce. A digitally re-composed butt? I'm sure your dumper is plenty fine, I know it is, even if not perfect. It's one thing when you sort of let everybody talk about how you're nekkid in the movie for the first time, then it turns out you're really just talking about from behind and your cheeks, then it turns out those cheeks are virtual fill-ins. Honestly, I don't know what to believe in any more. I suppose this is both the blessing and the curse of the modern digital age. I'm trying to sound reasonable, but I am most definitely seething on the inside. I might need to punch some ice cream.

Here's a shot of Dakota's deep cleavage from the same film. I assume they are real. I mean, I hope so. This is what happens when the innocence ends.

(Sort of thanks to the many of you who forwarded this Dakota Fanning fake butt confession piece from earlier this year.)

Nicola Peltz Wears A Low Cut Dress On Jimmy Kimmel Live

Nicola Peltz dropped by Jimmy Kimmel Live in a dress with a plunging neckline. She was there to plug the latest Transformers movie but the only Optimus Primes anyone noticed were in her shirt. The dress is basically open to her stomach giving a nice view of some cleavetacular action. Nicola has a seriously awesome rack, which is a prerequisite for starring in a Transformers film. The dress was also both short and had a slit that went most of the way up her thighs. She's got a pretty epic set of legs as well. They are long and nicely toned. I'll be honest, I skipped the last couple of Transformers movies. But I can now see that I've made a huge mistake. I can put up with some Michael Bay silliness if I get to look at Nicola.

I'm surprised they let her go on in that outfit. Boobies tend to scare uptight people in the flyover states.