Cleavage

Kelly Brook Behind the Nipples, Err, the Scenes of Her Epic 2015 Calendar Shoot

My ultimate nap would be to lay down in the bosomy embrace of Kelly Brook and sleep for days. Well, perhaps five minutes of exploring each other’s intimate limits until my heart rate goes past the red line limit indicated on the stationary bike at the gym. Then, to sleep for days in her warm welcoming boobtastic. Captured behind the scenes of her 2015 wall calendar shoot, Kelly Brook shows you why in black and white or color or just the heavenly scratch and sniff option, she really is one of the most heavenly bodies currently residing on the earth’s surface.

Kelly Brook in see-through little bits of clothing, bending, posing, preening for the camera. It’s almost impossible to wait for 2015. I’ll set my nap time in betwixt her engorged funbags to 1/1/15 so I can wake up atop her chest to the site of her on my wall. I’m doubling down on this fantasy. There’s no stopping me during the holiday season. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Cleavy In A Super Tight Latex Dress In Melbourne

Every day I get up, make some coffee, and eagerly await news of whatever revealing outfit Kim Kardashian wore the night before. She rarely disappoints. In today’s ensemble, Kim is sporting a TIGHT pink latex dress with a built in shelf to show off those legendary funbags. The bra part of the dress looks more like plastic and, as we all know, plastic doesn’t adhere to the body. So, her thingies are more placed on top of the bra than actually being held by them. The result is cleav the likes of which are rarely seen on the Earth. The rest of the dress hugged Kim’s famous curves and reminded us all of what a lucky SOB Kanye West is. She was there promoting her new perfume Fleur Fatale. I imagine you need a nice fragrance on your body after wearing a latex dress for a long sweaty night.

What I do know is that I look forward to seeing what surprises Kim has in store for tonight. Will it be a see-through top? A leather bondage outfit? Or will she just be naked? We’ll have to wait and see.

Ariana Grande, Toni Garrn and Uma Thurman Drop the Hottie Bombs at Germany’s Bambi Awards

You’d think the Bambi awards were some kind of adult entertainment achievement ceremony. Maybe that’s just where my wanders. In fact, they are something German given to celebrities for something I don’t quite understand. But they do it every year and big name hotties show up in Germany to perform and walk the red carpet and receive awards and smile. I’m guessing half the people walking the carpet have no idea what the award show is either. No matter, looking super sextastic, wave, and blush and say thank you a lot. That’s really all you need as an alluring woman to make it through most situations.

Toni Garnn looked sextacular in her cleavy gown while Ariana Grande did her typically coquettish flirty cat routine on the stage and Uma Thurman just strutted and preened like everybody’s super hot mom. I’d call that a successful evening. That’s how I imagine Sunday Night Football to be in the home of my dreams. Thanks, Toni Garrn, I would like some more Velveeta cheese dip, yes. Oh, that would be magical. So many crazy passion inducing women, so little time. Enjoy.

Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Jenna Dewan Tatum Highlight the Hotties at the 2014 Hollywood Film Awards

You’ve got me. I have no clue what the Hollywood Film Awards are. Apparently, this is the 18th annual version of the event and I’m still kind of dumbfounded. That’s not an unusual state of mind in my regard, and you know I believe we simply can’t have enough award shows honoring the benevolent and heroic daily lives of our Hollywood celebrities, such an under-recognized bunch they are. Still, can’t say I’ve ever heard of this one. Though it certainly did bring out the big names in A-list talent along with a bevy of decked out sextastic Tinsel Town lovelies including Kristen Stewart, Emily Ratajkowski, Felicity Jones, Jing Tian, Lia Marie Johnson, Jenna Dewan Tatum and many more.

As always, I fall back on the guiding rule that any event with attractive women is a worthwhile event. Like most of the award shows that will start with award season in January, the upside is the gaggle of glorious hotties who’ve spent hours looking their best. As they always do. So pass out your shiny trophies and auto-fellate yourself into the seventh level of Nirvana, Hollywood. Just keep on bringing out the smoking hot women in showy gowns and we’re all good.

Solange Knowles’ Boobs Were Falling Out At Her Wedding

Beyonce’s little sister Solange Knowles got married in New Orleans and the theme of the wedding appeared to be nipple slips. The lovely Solange wore a white pant suit kind of thing with a huge slit in the front. I wouldn’t call what you could see of her funbags cleavage. It was more like inner sideboob with just a hint of nipple. Solange is pretty hot. I’ve thought so since I was forced to watch Bring It On: All or Nothing in which she starred as sassy cheerleader. Beyonce was also looking really sexy in a white dress that showed off those legendary ta-tas. No nip slips on her part though. A shame, really. I always thought only the bride was supposed to wear white at a wedding? I guess if you are Beyonce you can do whatever the hell you want.

I’m a little hurt that I wasn’t invited. We’re both from Houston and I used to see her dad all the time downtown. That obviously warrants an invite, right?

Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner Double Down Buxom Pimping Sisters

There is no job too small for a Kardashian, just small boobs. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Kim Kardashian was on hand and flashing her ample healthy wholesome cleavage deep and wide for her little sister’s pimping of the fake hair efforts in Beverly Hills. Just seventeen yet, and such an innocent young lass, we probably shouldn’t comment on Kylie Jenner and her rather bosomy showoff outfit designed to sell more faux blue hair to girls who want to look like 80′s drunk female rock stars I suppose. What do I know of fashion and style? If it’s not at Target, it’s all haute couture to me.

It’s nice to see the family working together for the common good of making even more money. The hawking of product is the communal moment for Kardashian girls to ignore their spats and differences and work together for the family business. It’s kind of Americana beautiful. I’m referring mostly to the funbags now. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lawrence Looks Red Hot Heading To The Late Show

America’s sexy sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence was looking sultry in red on her way to the Late Show with David Letterman in New York City. The dress was short on both ends so you could see plenty of top and bottom. Ah, the famous Jennifer Lawrence cleav. Her Katniss Everdeens are part of the reason people love her so much. Who can forget their Academy Award winning role in American Hustle? They were amazing in that movie. She’s also got a pretty awesome set of stems as well. Probably due to all that running around in the woods with Peeta or whatever for those Hunger Games movies. I also enjoyed their work in American Hustle. That movie was all about her boobs and legs.

Seems she had a bit of trouble with the crowds when she was leaving the show. That’s the problem with big groups of people in New York. They tend to get a little booty grabby if you’re not careful.