Jordana Brewster Delivers the Sextastic to Boston Common

Jordana Brewster is one of those sextastc celebrities you might forget about while she’s on one of her many longer public eye hiatuses and then suddenly she appears again and you’re reminded about the fast and furious time you first fell in lust with her and how she looks absolutely better than ever, if that’s even possible. It might be in a bikini candid, or even something as simply alluring as these Boston Common fashion photos primarily designed to sell wares to the fairer sex, but you will be reminded of several deep seeded feelings. That’s the instant recall provided by the truly amazing looking women who walk among us.

There was a time I was pretty sure Jordana would be my fourth wife and baby mama, but now I realize I’ll probably have to settle for friends with benefit, meeting as we can at lesser traveled airport hotels to express our mutual passions for one another. So be it. I’m flexible. I mean, I can’t touch my toes, but I will wear a furry costume and cuffs as directed. Jordana, call me. You have my number. I spray painted it on the walk outside your home for easy access. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Boston Common

Emma Stone See-Through and a Busty Hot Sylvie Meis at The Independent Spirit Awards

The Independent Spirit Awards always take place the day before the Oscars to serve as a gentle reminder that Hollywood actually makes some good films as well, even though they tend to make a lot less money. Nevertheless, they still bring out the bevy of decked out hotties pimping their films or just trying to tie themselves to the indie filmmaking world, despite the completely meaningless distinction of that title these days.

Emma Stone in a see-through type dress makes everything okay. As does Sylvie Meis flashing serious chesty goodness. You throw in Emmy Awesome and Scarlett Johansson and Oliva Munn and it’s an outright party for the ogling eyeballs. Okay, still a bit pretentious, but I find that part of the appeal. I’m not afraid of a woman who fakes it. In fact, I highly encourage that. It’s helps me to feel proud of myself. Also, to make sure I’m good to go when the ball game starts. Bless all of your ridiculously hot women for dolling up and strutting the carpet. You made my weekend. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Pia Mia Perez Super Cleavy In Galore Magazine

Sultry vixen Pia Mia Perez steamed up the pages of Galore magazine in this sexy spread. Pia is one of those girls that looks good in anything be it a shiny gold leather dress or just a bunch of bubbles in tub. That’s partly due to the fact that she’s got outstanding boobage. There is some cleav for the ages in these pics, y’all. Her ta-tas are like two silky orbs. Silky orbs that is that I would very much like to motorboat. I think my favorite is the one where she’s wearing the white dress. It probably shows off the most cleavage. Plus there is something about a girl looking all sexy in white. Maybe it’s the faux purity thing. I’m not sure.

What I do know is that I wouldn’t kick Pia out of bed. No sir.

Photo Credit Galore Magazine

Kelly Brook Shows Off Curves In A Tiny Tank Top And Tight Jeans

The lovely Kelly Brook was a model of curvaceous sexiness in a small tank top and tight jeans combo. The plunging neckline on her shirt gave us a bird’s eye view of her mighty cleav. Needless to say that Kelly has got some pretty righteous boobage. They give her the top part of an hourglass shape that all the boys come drooling for. But it is perhaps the splendid booty shown off in her tight jeans that I most like. I’m a boob man, myself but I do appreciate a nice curvy but taught butt. Kelly has both and has a nice face. There is nothing worse than a girl with a bitchin body, (as an 80′s surfer might say), and a messed up grille. But Kelly doesn’t have to worry about that, nope not one bit.

I really need to move somewhere where women are still dressing like this. It’s four degrees here in New York and women are wearing eight layers of clothes. Oh how I long for Spring.

Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet

Miley Cyrus Underboob, Cindy Crawford in a Bikini, Aubrey O’Day Chesty Goodness Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

Iggy Azalea quit social media today. I’d say it will have some impact if she wasn’t immediately replaced by ten other sextastic celebrities ready to take her digital media space. It’s a jungle out there. Nobody is backing off the social media train if they want to keep growing their following, and there’s still no way better to grow anything than by posting wicked hot selfies and candids of yourself. That remains a plain fact. Thankfully so.

This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Miley Cyrus showing off her underboob, Cindy Crawford wicked hot in a bikini, Aubrey O’Day covered topless barely for Valentine’s, Izabel Goulart showing off her crazy taut yoga body, Paris Hilton showing off what just have to be some new sloops, and much much more. You owe it to your failed efforts on the 14th because you didn’t listen to your Uncle Bill to check out each and every one of these crazy alluring self-published candids. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram/Twitter

Christine Bently Deep Big Bold Boobtastic Wins Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Premiere

I’m a little worried that Hot Tub Time Machine part deux won’t live up to the silly but decidedly boobtastic two thumbs up of the first in the series. The sequels rarely do. But Hollywood being short on ideas, well, an R-rated comedy is better than another comic book reboot any day, especially when hot thespianics like Christine Bentley take part and make their impressions last on the red carpet of the premiere.

Christine didn’t just wear any old dress last night to the Hot Tub Time Machine 2 premiere, she wore the shiny low cut red body hugging number that was sure to win the carpet. Go big or go home. Especially when you’ve got the big guns to go big with. How Christine managed to stay in her dress is something of a scientific mystery. Also, a bit of sadness at a lost opportunity. Still, that dress. I hope she wears that when I ask her to prom. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet/Splash

Suki Waterhouse And Shay Mitchell Plunge Into Vanity Fair Young Hollywood Party

When Vanity Fair invites you to a party, you put on your finest showiest outfit and you head right on over. Okay, maybe six hours of hair and makeup first. There is a protocol. When Vanity Fair throws their Young Hollywood Party, well even I take a minute to brush my hair so I’l look half decent from my rooftop perch across the street from the party. Don’t worry, but Young Hollywood they mean the lovely thespianics and models in their early 20′s for the most part, like underrated hottie Shay Mitchell and Bradley Cooper’s young girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse.

Zoey Deutch and Victoria Justice and Sarah Hyland and Maria Menounos showed up just because they had killer dresses to wear and hear there was an open bar. Fair enough. The more hotties the merrier I always say. In fact, it’s tattooed on my ankle. February is the month of the biggest parties in Hollywood, all leading up to The Oscars this Sunday. It will be my distinct privilege to try and remain sober for that sparkling event. 50-50 as of right now. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI