Christine Bently Deep Big Bold Boobtastic Wins Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Premiere

I’m a little worried that Hot Tub Time Machine part deux won’t live up to the silly but decidedly boobtastic two thumbs up of the first in the series. The sequels rarely do. But Hollywood being short on ideas, well, an R-rated comedy is better than another comic book reboot any day, especially when hot thespianics like Christine Bentley take part and make their impressions last on the red carpet of the premiere.

Christine didn’t just wear any old dress last night to the Hot Tub Time Machine 2 premiere, she wore the shiny low cut red body hugging number that was sure to win the carpet. Go big or go home. Especially when you’ve got the big guns to go big with. How Christine managed to stay in her dress is something of a scientific mystery. Also, a bit of sadness at a lost opportunity. Still, that dress. I hope she wears that when I ask her to prom. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet/Splash

Suki Waterhouse And Shay Mitchell Plunge Into Vanity Fair Young Hollywood Party

When Vanity Fair invites you to a party, you put on your finest showiest outfit and you head right on over. Okay, maybe six hours of hair and makeup first. There is a protocol. When Vanity Fair throws their Young Hollywood Party, well even I take a minute to brush my hair so I’l look half decent from my rooftop perch across the street from the party. Don’t worry, but Young Hollywood they mean the lovely thespianics and models in their early 20′s for the most part, like underrated hottie Shay Mitchell and Bradley Cooper’s young girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse.

Zoey Deutch and Victoria Justice and Sarah Hyland and Maria Menounos showed up just because they had killer dresses to wear and hear there was an open bar. Fair enough. The more hotties the merrier I always say. In fact, it’s tattooed on my ankle. February is the month of the biggest parties in Hollywood, all leading up to The Oscars this Sunday. It will be my distinct privilege to try and remain sober for that sparkling event. 50-50 as of right now. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Charlotte McKinney’s Boobtastic Cleavage Tries To Save The Children

Incredibly boobtacular model Charlotte McKinney was on hand to try and save the children through the powers of her funbags. She wore a black dress with a plunging neckline that gave her some cleav for the ages. You can almost see the beginning of her nips in the dress. Almost but not quite. Oh, Charlotte you tease. Charlotte has become a rising star in the world of professional hot people and it’s easy to see why. Not only does she have a gorgeous face and a slamming body but she is also everywhere. You can’t turn around these days without seeing Charlotte and her boobs. Not that I’m complaining. I’d rather look at Charlotte than most models.

I believe that if anything can improve the world it’s Charlotte’s boobage. So, I hope they continue their charity work. World peace can only be on the other side of those amazing flesh mounds.

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Ashley Benson Boobtastic Faptastic Falling Out for Fashion Week

Ashley Benson bosom isn’t just for breakfast anymore. Though I surely would like to wake up to them. I never liked mornings much, they could certainly help.

The underrated blonde hottie had her funbags on nearly full display at Fashion Week in NYC. As you know, fashion is a pox upon this world that is only slightly salved by the tremendous amount of skin shown by the women for whom it matters. It’s not quite a wash, but on days when Ashley Benson is catwalk side flashing this much glorious chest, I have to give it a pass. Perhaps there are more meaningful things to spend your money on that a designer dress, but when that dress comes with no bra and Ashley Benson boobtastic about to fall out, I can’t think of anything more meaningful. Breasts completely melt my ability to be rational. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Getty

Elisabetta Canalis Busty Red Hotness for Vienna Belle of the Ball Time

Elisabetta Canalis won the dubious honor this year of being billionaire Richard Lugner’s date to the Vienna Opera. It’s somewhat of a celebrity coup to get tapped by the skeevy old rich guy to be his showoff date to this annual upscale event in Austria. And there’s a fairly nice paycheck included. So why not make the most of it, as Elisabetta Canalis did in a cleavetastic hot red model body built dress.

You know seeing Elisabetta Canalis always reminds me what a dumbass George Clooney is, not to mention gives me tingly feelings in the regions where my mom used to tell I should only allow doctors to touch. I was too young then for her to add in, and Elisabetta Canalis, if you should be so lucky. I’m not sure I shall ever be that lucky, but just know, Elisabetta, I can describe in vivid detail and colored pencil drawings precisely how it happens. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Kelly Brook In Stretch Pants Garners Secret Mini-Egotastic Admirer

I don’t normally like to show such saccharin sweet images, but when it involves the curvaceous wonder and a future Egotastic! reader, I just had to share.

Some guy got the genius idea to push his kid up to Kelly Brook with some belated Valentine’s Day flowers as she was taking her blessed T&A to the gym for further television series tightening. Kids are like puppies, the ladies just can’t resist. Pretty genius.

This lucky little tyke even got himself a big boobtastic hug. If you don’t think Kelly just launched him into manhood a few years on the precocious end, think again. That boy can’t possibly go back to Legos and Tinker Toys at this point. Oh, no, his compass is set for the direction of hot busty ladies in gym clothes. In this manner, our destinies are entirely parallel. Welcome to the club, little man. It’ll frustrate you at times, but trust me, you will never ever want to leave. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Kim Kardashian Deep Shiny Cleavage for Kanye and the SNL 40th Anniversary

The dutiful wife. That describes Kim Kardashian. Provided dutiful means showing off your dooties on the way to see your husband at the SNL 40 Year Anniversary extravaganza. That’s not as much as many wives, but more than many given the assets Kim brings to bear when she’s buffed, polished, and shiny funbags flashing in the middle of the frigid cold New York nightscape.

Some people have been questioning how it is Kim isn’t freezing her Funions off this winter in the Big Apple, strolling around so much with open, light, revealing clothing even in the most icy of conditions. They obviously don’t understand the Kardashian internal meat heater. It’s beyond powerful and fueled by fame, with a little hint of money. Don’t believe me? Send Kim to the Antarctic and watch that cap melt. The ice goes before her booty cap. Trust me. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash/PacificCoastNews