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Twinkies Will Now Last Forever

In my continuing coverage of the return of the Twinkie, we've seen how this symbol of American sugary awesomeness returned …

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Great, Now We Have To Worry About Sea Monsters

The list of things that are going to kill us increased this week when a friggin' sea monster washed up on a beach in New …

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Zombies-Run

Want To Train For The Zombocalypse? There’s An App For …

It's hard to get motivated to exercise. Would it encourage you to go jogging if you were being chased by zombies? Of course! …

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The Universe Is Going To Explode. Have A Nice Day!

So, the universe might blow up. I know I've predicted the end of the world before...like last week with that meteor in …

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Russian Meteorite Is Harbinger Of The End…For Real This …

A meteorite streaked across the sky and crashed near a town in central nowhere Russia. Lots of people were hurt by falling …

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The British Government Is Ready For The Zombocalypse

OK, so I was wrong about the world ending last Friday. That's on me...and the Mayans. Still, that doesn't mean that we …

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Where the Fuck Did My Apocalypse Go????

Well, 12/21/12 came and went without any kind of bang, and speaking personally, I'm kind of pissed that I now need to pay my …

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Smoke on the Water, Fire in the Sky! Tonight We All Burn Like My …

This is it people. If you haven't banged your unusually hot cousin or told your boss to suck your manhood right through your …

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The Hand Fart Master’s Version Of “Let It Be”

In anticipation of the apocalypse tomorrow, I think we could all use a little pick me up. Perhaps some music? Maybe played …

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This Friday, The Earth Blasts Out of the Universe’s Ass …

That might be a slight exaggeration, but according to our own Jack Tomas, this Friday, the shit is going to hit the …

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Dispatches from the Apocalypse, Part Four

With just ten days left until the earth turns to rubble and ruin and all the girls on your wish-bang list are annihilated …

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Elmo And Hope Are Dead

Elmo is dead. Sorry kids, your little red friend has kicked the bucket. Kevin Clash, the legendary puppeteer who created …

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Dispatches from the Apocalypse, Part 3: The End Is Nigh

Our good but entirely not quite sane friend Jack Tomas remains sequestered in his bunker, reporting on the likely form of …

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Tool Using Dolphins May Replace Us

Dolphins have apparently developed the ability to use tools. Bottleneck dolphins, that live in the waters of the awesomely …

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Berlusconi And Bunga Bunga “Eyes Wide Shut” Sex …

Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's former swinging prime minister, is in trouble again. This time he's on trial for allegedly …

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Naked Texas Caveman Is Not Me

A naked caveman has been terrorizing hikers in the mountains around El Paso, TX. The clearly insane scruffy dude has been …

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Makeout Not War…At Least In Canada

Makeout not war? That's what one pub in Calgary said. I'm currently on assignment in Canada, (where I'm trying to get …

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The End is Nigh! Dispatches from the Apocalypse, Part 2 (VIDEO)

Our own Jack Tomas remains hidden in a secret underground bunker that eerily resembles his mother's basement, holding out …

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Dispatches from the Apocalypse, Part 1

Who Cares About Topless Photo Scandals? We’re All Doomed …

Ever since he finally read a newspaper story about the coming Mayan End of Calendar Days apocalypse planned not so …

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Dispatches From The Apocalypse – Four-Armed Cyberpunk Robot

In something out of a future dystopian nightmare, some psycho invented a four-armed cyberpunk robot. In the video above the …

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Dispatches From The Apocalypse: Snooki’s Baby – The …

Snooki had her baby. "So what? Snooki crapped out an orange flesh turd," you might say. "Sooner or later all of that …

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Dispatches From The Apocalypse: The Naked Congressman

The world is going to end December 21, 2012. I'm sorry if you had plans for the 22nd, but one can't control the end of the …

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