Katy Cocktease Bachelorette Party Saved By Rihanna Boobs

Checked my mailbox, not twice but thrice. No invitation. How is this possible? How did I not get invited to the cockteasiest event of the season? Katy Perry Bachelorette Party pictures are the talk of the PG-13 rated town, with rumors of almost nudity, almost booby flashes, and almost stripping at the Hard Rock Casino Hotel in Vegas over the weekend. Katy's ill-groomed pet/fiance was released from police custody following an altercation at LAX just in time to get drunk and pass out three hours prior to the event.

For my part, camouflaged as I was in my rubber wetsuit beneath a Sponge Bob life raft, all I could see was Katy Perry sipping on a light beer and huffing on some cigarettes poolside by her co-ed giggle posse, who I care not about, save for Rihanna, whose ever-busty boobage saved the poolside day from death by utter flaccid cocktease. Enjoy.

(Later in the day, Katy was presented with a cake in the shape of a cock. I shit you not. Only decorum and cheapness prevent me from showing you a photo of the cake cock.)

Photo credit: GSi media