Hey, Bill, Whatcha Watching? Oh, Rihanna Grinding a Girl, Emily Ratajkowski Dancing in a Tight Sweater, and Dani Mathers Showing Why She’s PMOY (VIDEO)

I’m really finding more and more that the best stuff on television is really on the Internet. Something like that. All these years storytellers of the sextastic were bound and limited by few, dismissive distribution channels, now, they fly free, unfettered by the space time and major network and studio continuum. Fly free video content birds. Even the Puritans can’t stop us now. Knock on wood, naturally. The battle is far from over.

What short nuggets of celebrity goodness have I been watching most recently? Funny you should ask. Well young hottie model d’jour, Hannah Davis, behind the scenes of her OP beach shoot, Rihanna touching herself and fans on stage in her, let’s face it, concert sex shows, Emily Ratajkowski candidly dancing in a super tight sweater, Dani Mathers showing why she deserved her Playmate of the Year tap, and Bar Refaeli behind the scenes and gym taut for Marie Claire. If you’re wondering why I don’t watch more educational videos, you’re entirely missing the point. This is my education. Yours too. The hard sciences are overrated. Long live hot women. Enjoy.

Hey, Bill, Whatcha Watching? Oh, Gisele In Her Panties, Rihanna Grinding Girls, and Charlotte McKinney Crazy Swimsuit Cleavage

People often ask me, how do I have the time to watch the latest hottest web videos when I am so busy being partially employed AND running my charity home for runaway teenaged girls with the potential for future modeling. It’s all about time management. Starting with rising by ten am. That’s really the key. And the hardest part of what I do.

But you are beneficiary, for the quintet of videos I’ve been watching here most recently rise to the level of epic sextastic. Short, but sweet, and definitely all of them must-see. You know, if you happen to find the world’s most alluring women mostly undressed to be worthy of your own time. Try on, Gisele Bundchen modeling her own panties and garters and bras, Rihanna grinding and touching women and men on stage in her Dutch concert (I’m pretty sure you can’t do that in the U.S., ashame), Charlotte McKinney crazy hot cleavetastic in her Vanity Fair shoot, Stella Maxwell, Martha Hunt, and Elsa Hosk, the wicked amazing blonde bombshells of Victoria’s Secret in lacy panties, and Hannah Davis flubbing her lines, but perfecting her bikini body behind the scenes of her SI shoot. I would shank any one of you for some closet alone time with any one of these women. I say that will all due kindness, but mostly just sincerity. Enjoy.

Rihanna Isn’t Wearing Pants

Not exactly genius, but have to give it up for Rihanna who even when she covers up is showing off a good deal of her body, as in this poncho minus pants get up in New York for a lovely bit of midday legs exhibition. Perhaps somebody got in Rihanna’s ear and told her she’d been showing off too much boobtastic this week what with all her Met Gala party slips and reveals, so, no more funbags today. Just, you know, no pants.

Rihanna has been the worldwide leader in public displays of skin for several years now. Perhaps Miley too, though Rihanna does it in designer wear as opposed to off the rack at K-Mart seconds. I kid because I care. Mostly about Rihanna’s body which she cares enough to share with all of us almost daily. I don’t know if she’s doing it for her benefit or for our benefit, I’m just glad she’s doing it. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Rihanna Topless Wardrobe Malfunction at Met Gala After Party

Click To See Uncensored

I’m not sure who designed the dress Rihanna wore to the after party at the Met Gala, but if they didn’t foresee her sweet teats baring themselves for the cameras, they certainly weren’t imagining what I was the minute I saw Rihanna appear in that flimsy see-through dress. It was her evening’s destiny to flash that brilliant boobtastic. Not that Rihanna minds showing off her stellar body in partially nekkid or nekkid form, still, at a swank Manhattan event, this was a visual blessing.

Rihanna has been one of those celebrities for nearly ten years now that has consistently shown off her fine female form without hesitation or any regrets. Which probably stems from having one outstanding body, but also the knowledge that, oh, well, just made a few million guys smile, things could be worse. Which is ever so true, and one reason Rihanna will always be a favorite of mine. Now then, let me help you with that dress. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash

Rihanna Eats Mangos In A Bikini In Hawaii

Rihanna can do just about anything and make it hot. Whether it’s dancing, wearing shirts with no bras, or eating mangoes. She was recently spotted in Hawaii doing just that while wearing a tiny bikini. The top of the white bikini could barely contain those her mangoes. There was a bit of sideboob and, of course, amazing cleavage. That’s sort of her specialty. If you see Rihanna she is flashing some serious cleavage 24/7. But that’s not all, folks. She also has on a pair of shorty shorts that were completely see-through. The result is that you could see her fabulous booty in the bikini bottom. Rihanna has a killer thumper. I for one would like to get to know it better. While that may never happen, (unless she’s into chubby Cuban guys), I have the occasion to admire it from afar fairly often as she has it on display on a regular basis.

I love mangoes. I love them even more now. I could watch a sexy woman eating fruit all the time. There is just something about the juices dripping down her chin that does it for me.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Rihanna Topless Covered and Sucking Straws in Blonde Wig

I’m not sure why Rihanna is in a blonde wig and sucking on a straw, I just kind of like it. I’m typically against these hyper machinated photoshoots where supremely sextastic woman are over staged and styled and brushed to appear something other than just the girl I imagine nekkid in my bedroom because I found a genie lamp and used all three wishes to get them there. But, once in a while, I do appreciate the creative imagination of the photographers and stylists who come up with this nonsense. I’m not a total brute, just mostly brute.

Featured in V Magazine, Rihanna does show why she’s one of the single most sought out magazine girl of her age. And that blonde wig, well, I might just have to change my third genie wish from insisting she not laugh at my pecs to her wearing that platinum mop top. It’s kind of hot. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: V Magazine

Rihanna Bikini Vacation Photos Coming in Cheeky and Island Hot

Born in the warm weather islands, Rihanna knows precisely how to revel in a Hawaiian bikini holiday. Also how to share her lust inducing body with the rest of us who aren’t so fortunate to travel on any given day for a luxurious beach vacation. Here are the best of the sights, of Rihanna front and back. I do feel almost like I’m there myself. I can feel my hands clenching on the aloe vera bottle I keep on my utility belt ready to apply to the ladies tender shoulders and parts south thereof.

Rihanna has certainly been one of our top ten all-time benevolent gifters of body shots faptastic. She shares peeps at her hot booty and tight sultry body on a regular basis. I can’t tell if she’s trying to make us jealous or just wants us to make many babies with her in our minds. I’m currently kind of experiencing both. I wonder if Hawaii offers cold showers. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Instagram