I’m not sure why Rihanna is in a blonde wig and sucking on a straw, I just kind of like it. I’m typically against these hyper machinated photoshoots where supremely sextastic woman are over staged and styled and brushed to appear something other than just the girl I imagine nekkid in my bedroom because I found a genie lamp and used all three wishes to get them there. But, once in a while, I do appreciate the creative imagination of the photographers and stylists who come up with this nonsense. I’m not a total brute, just mostly brute.
Featured in V Magazine, Rihanna does show why she’s one of the single most sought out magazine girl of her age. And that blonde wig, well, I might just have to change my third genie wish from insisting she not laugh at my pecs to her wearing that platinum mop top. It’s kind of hot. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: V Magazine
Born in the warm weather islands, Rihanna knows precisely how to revel in a Hawaiian bikini holiday. Also how to share her lust inducing body with the rest of us who aren’t so fortunate to travel on any given day for a luxurious beach vacation. Here are the best of the sights, of Rihanna front and back. I do feel almost like I’m there myself. I can feel my hands clenching on the aloe vera bottle I keep on my utility belt ready to apply to the ladies tender shoulders and parts south thereof.
Rihanna has certainly been one of our top ten all-time benevolent gifters of body shots faptastic. She shares peeps at her hot booty and tight sultry body on a regular basis. I can’t tell if she’s trying to make us jealous or just wants us to make many babies with her in our minds. I’m currently kind of experiencing both. I wonder if Hawaii offers cold showers. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Back in the day I suppose smoking weed was some kind of taboo. We’ve come a long way baby. While politicians and some A-list actors still lie about their dates with the chronic most every contemporary pop and hip hop artist is far more open about smoking and dabbing. It’s still technically illegal so not everybody is as blunt as a Snoop Dogg about puffing tough, but there are plenty of our Egotastic! regular sextastic celebrities who had or did or still do delight in the dank. It’s 420. The day to celebrate the kind herb, unlike every other day of the year when stoners honor the planet slightly more quietly. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Egotastic Archives
Things got a little celebrity hotter at Coachella when the sun went down and the private fancy parties started. Well, hotter and far more wasted. I excluded the photo of Joe Jonas looking like a space cadet because he’s a dude and we don’t like dudes, but suffice it to say, he was tripping. Along with Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin her life party partner, Fergie, Tara Reid, Bella Thorne, Paris Hilton, and Gigi Hadid made the party scene. I’m guessing the music was horrible, but the sextastic celebrities were pretty much in the mood for love, not to mention the mood for getting in touch with their experimental side.
Next year, I’m helicoptering in for this big evening shin dig. I could probably pass as a DJ given I have two hands and look unkempt. DJ B Ego, let me in to spin my iTunes pre-recorded tracks. I’ve just got to party with these girls. They may never be so wasted again. That sounds horrible. I should’ve used my inner voice. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/FameFlynet
Pop princess Rihanna was looking downright cleavetacular in a little black dress and a green fur. While I don’t approve of killing Muppets to make coats, I got to say that it works on her. Rihanna has got an incredible pair of ta-tas. I’ve been a fan of Rihanna’s chi-chis since I first saw them in one of those horrible Bring It On movies. They are nice and plump and she likes to show them off. And why not? A person should be proud of their attributes, especially when they are as well endowed as Rihanna. You can also see some tight sideboob in the profile shots. But the cleav is enough to put your eye out. Thank God for plunging necklines.
I could give or take Rihanna’s music but I sure do enjoy waking up every morning and having some scantily clad picture of her come across my desk. It’s a daily treat.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Rihanna hasn’t worn a bra probably since the novelty of training bras wore off for her back in the day. She simply does not like undergarments, or garments, or clothes or covering up or not letting the better parts of her gifted female form be seen by the general public. I’ve admired Rihanna since the very first time one of her candid nekkid photos got leaked to the world and she said basically, yeah, I’m hot, I’m nekkid, go have yourself some fun, kids. And we kids did. I’ve been a fan of her exhibitionist ways ever since.
In her latest ensemble of body flashing, Rihanna left her favorite Italian restaurant where I can’t imagine she ever eats the pasta braless with an open top that seemed to suspend her lady udders in mid-air, defying gravity and nipple slips with some type of engineering precision. These are the moments when I pray for the wardrobe makers to not be so super clever in their constructions. Still, quite the peek-a-boo view for the dessert round. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
There are two pieces of advice my father gave me I hold dear to this day. The first was to take the time to stop and smell the roses. The second was to grow up and go find a place of my own to live. When you’re nine stuff your dad says leaves an impression on you. In honor of the former, today I wanted to stop and smell the Spandex covered booties. We see so much hot celebrity asstastic in stretchy shorts and leggings I feel we sometimes take this modern trend of awesome quite for granted. It would have us killed in certain parts of this globe. Her, it’s just killing us kindly.
Delve into Rihanna, Michelle Lewin, Brooke Burke and others flashing beautiful cans of all Tinsel Town ages. Hip hip hurrah for the sweet seat meat and the manner in which it cushions our hearts and other vital organs. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Egotastic Archives