Katy Perry

Katy Perry Crotch and Leg Performance Upskirt at The Garden

Well, Katy Cocktease is on another leg of yet another world tour so why not show off some of her lower half goodness to compliment the busty top half she taunts us with month in and month out. She really does have some nice legs, and her upskirt squat thrusts were a nice addition to, naturally, he amazing musical repertoire of tunes for teens.

For years now I've been begging Katy to show us her bare funbags. I can't help but feel I'm not making tremendous progress. But as with any war, persistence, patience, and a healthy supply of foot powder often eventually wins the day. Katy, I will wait for you. And I will leer at your thighs and undercarriage. But my frustration does continue to mount. I hope you can find it in your heart to some day, some how, show us those faptastic yams of yours. Think of it as charity. I'm good with that. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Double Dip of Cockteasery in Cosmo To Kick Off the Week Right

I remember back in second grade a group of us boys were chasing around this girl playing tag and generally making her playground life miserable. We were all stopped by the school principal and his obligatory mustache who gave us a whooping and tried to cheer up the poor girl by informing her that the reason we were chasing her around was because the boys thought she was pretty. That's when it struck me that Dr. Dingleberry, as we called, not his given Christianname, was actually right. Boys always picked on the girls they liked. I mean, it started with schoolyard pestering and obnoxious chasing and then several years later back of the car pestering and obnoxious chasing. That part never changed.

My point -- for all my ribbing of Katy Cocktease, I only do it because I really really like her. She's pretty. I want to ever so badly play tag on the schoolyard with her. Featured here in a couple more shots from her new Cosmo magazine spread, Katy is clearly one of those girls where somebody might ask you what you thought of her new green hair and you'd probably just say something innocuous because you never really looked at her hair. Katy, please, for the love of funbags, fully unleash your blessings. In the meantime, just continue being super hot. It's not enough, but it's definitely a thing. Welcome to the new week. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and Rita Ora Hot Hottie Body on Stage in Scotland

Aye, a wee bit of the hot birds on stage at Radio 1's concert in the Highlands this weekend. There were a bunch of acts, but Katy Cocktease in her ancient Egyptian themed tight dress and Rita Ora in her booty hugging body suit and some unusual looking dreads certainly stood out for me.

I can't say I'm particular fond of either young pop diva musically speaking, but pretty much obsessed in every other way and I could easily fake the musical interest part should I ever get a chance to help these girls change costumes backstage. That and a Ora-Swift-Perry sandwich are my two simultaneously occurring dreams at the moment. I wish you could see inside my brain, it's like a quilt of really vibrant and not-for-kids images. I'll be sure to donate it to some tawdry sex museum after my demise. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and I Wish You a Happy, Grateful Memorial Day

It's days like today I like to think about how fortunate we are to live in a land where we have the freedom to ogle girls like Katy Cocktease in a tight sweater and openly beg for her to show us her sweet yams. As stupid as that sounds, it's one of a thousand freedoms earned through brave men and women serving their nation and even paying the ultimate sacrifice which we honor on this particular day. There are many nations in this world where you'd be stone cold blocked from ogling Katy and I'd likely be the prettiest man in a political prison. At least, when I put on a little blush.

Today is the official start of summer and BBQ season and bikini season and hot girls in hardly any clothes. My favorite time of the year. But let us never forget that the road to happy times such as these are paved by the courage of defenders of the realm. There is much darkness in the world, much ignorance and repression. We can decry it from behind our computer screens, but somebody has to be out there in the cold night keeping the darkness at bay. A profound thank you to those who do. Now, Katy Cocktease, about those sweater puppies....Enjoy.

Photo credit: Lauren Dukoff

Katy Perry Deep Cleavage S&M Abuse of Madonna in Latex? Yep

Make what you will of this new spread in V magazine. Personally I'm going to print it out and make a cool sailor hat out of it, then everybody will ask me why I'm wearing a hat of Katy Perry as a cleavetastic dominatrix tugging Madonna in latex by hair and rope. I will not have a good answer.

However, this is one of those must see-spreads. I suggest you must see the full set of Katy Cocktease and Madonna being super S&M like on WWTDD. I guarantee these are images you will not soon if ever forget. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Gets Down and Dirty Back in Concert in Ireland

I'm not sure how long Katy Cocktease has been on concert hiatus. It seems like it's been at least a couple boyfriends or a marriage ago really. It's been a while. But, you can't keep a good girl down, so Katy got decked out in her silly showy costumes and got up and down and down and up on stage in Belfast in her new concert tour.

It's kind of like her old concert tour in so much as Katy prances about showing off her cleave and legs and various other jiggly parts, but different in so much as it's brand new different same sounding pop songs. Okay, so it's mostly the same as last time, but with Katy Cocktease, we're still bound to ogle. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Looking Mighty Fine Down Under

Katy Cocktease might give us a pain in the blue regions, but there's really no denying her power stems from looking sextastic and hot in the first place. Katy put her legs and other body goodness on display Down Under over the weekend for a celebration of something to do with art and museums and a bunch of other things I care less about than merely ogling Katy.

For all of Katy's faults and annoying personal relationship habits, I'd still shank any one of you in the prison showers for a chance to spend ten minutes along in isolation with Katy. I'd concede two minutes for her to chatter a bit and make some silly remarks that I would pretend to laugh at, then remind her we had eight minutes left and ask her if she could breathe through her nose. I'm considerate like that. Katy, let's roleplay this, I'm so ready. Enjoy.