Kate Upton Bridal Bikini Collection Makes Me Long for a Beach Wedding

This whole motif where apparel companies get super hot women to wear skimpy and showy bridal-themed lingerie or swimsuits or little lacy things is just absolutely destroying every bit of 5 million year old male instinct to be anti-wedding flowing through my primordial-cast brain.

How can one naysay the ball and chain when the ball and chain comes in the form of Kate Upton modeling Beach Bunny bikini collection? Just look this beachy hotness and tell me how you could possibly not say 'I do' to any of it. Thoughts of the wedding night alone would have you in some kind of suggestive state where even thinking about bolting from your marital vows would cause you extreme pain in the gonadial regions. This is all so very unfair! But, enjoy.