According to our friends at TMZ, quirky cutie Zooey Deschanel is now officially split from that Death Cab for Cutie emo husband of hers, and since we are bound by honor, the legal system, and a promise we made once to our dying parakeet, Jay, to never involve ourselves in the matters of the flesh with a married woman, well, today is a happy day.
Look, despite the finality of the divorce decree, today is not the day to gloat about Zooey running into my arms, demanding a rebound stuffing of legendary proportions. So, I’m not going to talk about the wild, raunchy making of the sexy session with The New Girl that left room #208 at the Red Roof Inn smelling like a mix between fake lilac and a liverwurst processing planet. A gentleman never gossips, not even about the forbidden love that Zooey and I may have shared, but let’s just say, I followed her into the dark. Enjoy.
I’ll say this for non-boob showing television shows, their ladies love to show cleavage during award season for their medium. The million dollar mammaries could not be contained at this weekend’s Primetime Emmy Awards, where scores of hotties came decked out in low cut top, or just looking mighty fine, boob tube fantastics such as Christina Hendricks, Kat Dennings, Heidi Klum, Padma Lakshmi, January Jones, Sofia Vergara, Alexandra Breckenridge, Hayden Panettiere, Julianne Hough, Julie Bowen, Zooey Deschanel, and Claire Danes.
Yes, it was an evening filled with Hollywood patting itself on the back. But a day today for us to remember the best of Hollywood’s front side. Enjoy.
The ‘upfronts’ are when the networks bring out all their stars of current and upcoming shows, dresses them in brand family friendly outfits, and parades them in front of sponsors and advertisers in N.Y. and I’m guessing everybody sits through it with a smile until such time as they can get back to the hookers and Heinekens back in their hotel rooms where the real deals are going down.
And, they’re a bunch of trumped up boringness. So, it was with great leer-appreciation that quirky hot Zooey Deschanel showed up in the monkey parade flashing a nice bit of pushed up cleavage, a sweaty semi-ogle-gasmic break from the ordinary to the quite stare-worthy.
Men are simple creatures. I’m glad that Zooey Deschanel gets that. Enjoy.
It’s the eyes, right?
Trying to narrow down exactly why Zooey Deschanel so captures the hearts and minds and loins of so many dudes, so much so that even yours truly snuck into an OB/GYN doctor’s office just to snatch a copy of this month’s Marie Claire magazine to share with the lot of you the lust of Zooey Deschanel.
No, she’ll never take her clothes off, but I guarantee you will be doing that with your mind within moments of spying these photos. Enjoy.
Let’s face it, every single male in the world over the last six months or so, has fallen in love with Zooey Deschanel. The recently single, unbelievably pretty, singer and actress has, with the help of FOX’s new comedy New Girl risen to the precipice of being America’s new sweetheart.
The charismatically quirky brunette has been a revelation as Jess on New Girl and her relatable and unconventional behaviour have made her eternally relatable. Here are the main reasons why everyone wants a piece of the girl with the hardest name to spell in show business.
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There are two kinds of guys in this world. Those that don’t really get the whole Zooey Deschanel thing, and those that would let themselves be run over by a commercial-grade farming thresher just for the chance for five seconds of bouncy bouncy fun time with the hot geek girl. There’s no middle ground on this one.
So, it is no surprise that when Zooey Deschanel appears in even a modestly risque scene on her show, New Girl, that our email will be flooded with Zooey-droolers sounding like they’ve just won 50-yard line seats to the Super Bowl. This is the Super Bowl for them. And, it is Zooey in a bra and panties in some very silly scenes with Justin Long that kind of ruin the whole sexy thing if you ask me, so only check out the video if you can handle it, else just enjoy the pictures and imagining the almost impossible to imagine with Zooey — those bras and panties actually coming off. Enjoy.
Check Out the Video Clip of Zooey in Bra and Panties »