Egotastic
There's no doubt Nicki Minaj and her big ole booty stole the show last night at the Billboard Music Awards. It wasn't really much of a show at that, and I had to watch with the volume off, but when Nicki's badonkadonk appeared in black stretch pants, well, I heard all kinds of noises. I suppose they were mostly inside my head and telling me to do all sorts of ungentlemanly type things, but an order is an order.
There's much to be wary of in regard to Nicki Minaj. I can see being in a relationship with her and every time I walked near a higher floor open window at least considering not hearing her voice again, but, that butt. Oh, that butt. That'd keep me from defenestrating because there can't possibly be anything that slappable in the next world. Enjoy.
Today In Internet Insanity: Nicki Minaj – Demon Possessed Illuminati Agent
In this new feature I scour the Internet's darkest paranoid corners in order to find the craziest of the crazy crackpot ideas and conspiracy theories. Today I want to tell you about a video produced by a guy calling himself The Vigilant Christian, (Cue "Da-Dum-Dum!" stinger). What is he so vigilant about? Spotting Satan's evil Illuminati agents in the media, of course! In this 11 minute diatribe he explains how crappy singer and snazzy dresser Nicki Minaj is possessed by demons and works as an agent of the evil Illuminati that secretly run the world. She spreads the Satanic cabal's insidious agenda through her catchy dance pop tunes and as a judge on American Idol. Well, yeah! Thanks for stating the obvious, Vigilant Christian.
These are common tropes in the world of modern baby eating crazy conspiracy theories. A popular entertainer that acts a little weird, (or a lot friggin' weird in her case), makes folks like the Vigilant Christian very uncomfortable. Jay-Z is a common target for their bile because, I guess, he has 99 problems and being an agent of Satan is one. The fact that they are also Black and that Vigilant Christian's lily white kids are listening to them probably also plays a role. Although, to be fair, if someone was going to be possessed by Satan, it would probably be Nicki Minaj. That chick is weird, like for realsies. The main reason I think she isn't a vessel for Beelzebub is that it's too obvious. Lucifer is much more subtle than that. He would possess someone you wouldn't expect like Joni Mitchell or that one guy from The Big Band Theory. So, I doubt she is an evil minion of the Dark Lord. She's just a crappy singer.