Nicki Minaj

Today In Internet Insanity: Nicki Minaj – Demon Possessed Illuminati Agent

Tell Um Who The Hell I Is!

In this new feature I scour the Internet's darkest paranoid corners in order to find the craziest of the crazy crackpot ideas and conspiracy theories. Today I want to tell you about a video produced by a guy calling himself The Vigilant Christian, (Cue "Da-Dum-Dum!" stinger). What is he so vigilant about? Spotting Satan's evil Illuminati agents in the media, of course! In this 11 minute diatribe he explains how crappy singer and snazzy dresser Nicki Minaj is possessed by demons and works as an agent of the evil Illuminati that secretly run the world. She spreads the Satanic cabal's insidious agenda through her catchy dance pop tunes and as a judge on American Idol. Well, yeah! Thanks for stating the obvious, Vigilant Christian.

These are common tropes in the world of modern baby eating crazy conspiracy theories. A popular entertainer that acts a little weird, (or a lot friggin' weird in her case), makes folks like the Vigilant Christian very uncomfortable. Jay-Z is a common target for their bile because, I guess, he has 99 problems and being an agent of Satan is one. The fact that they are also Black and that Vigilant Christian's lily white kids are listening to them probably also plays a role. Although, to be fair, if someone was going to be possessed by Satan, it would probably be Nicki Minaj. That chick is weird, like for realsies. The main reason I think she isn't a vessel for Beelzebub is that it's too obvious. Lucifer is much more subtle than that. He would possess someone you wouldn't expect like Joni Mitchell or that one guy from The Big Band Theory. So, I doubt she is an evil minion of the Dark Lord. She's just a crappy singer.

Nicki Minaj Blasts Crazy Big Asstastic All Over the Billboard Music Awards

There's no doubt Nicki Minaj and her big ole booty stole the show last night at the Billboard Music Awards. It wasn't really much of a show at that, and I had to watch with the volume off, but when Nicki's badonkadonk appeared in black stretch pants, well, I heard all kinds of noises. I suppose they were mostly inside my head and telling me to do all sorts of ungentlemanly type things, but an order is an order.

There's much to be wary of in regard to Nicki Minaj. I can see being in a relationship with her and every time I walked near a higher floor open window at least considering not hearing her voice again, but, that butt. Oh, that butt. That'd keep me from defenestrating because there can't possibly be anything that slappable in the next world. Enjoy.

Nicki Minaj Pasties Up Her Bouncy Freaks for Music Video

Nicki Minaj is no stranger to dangling her double-Delights into the camera to garner much attention. And so in her music video for 'Freaks', Nicki shakes her moneymakers, sadly covered up with pre-meditated pasties, which pretty much ruin all the fun. Though it is nice to see Nicki flouting her guns. And her self-awareness of what makes her such a big star is really rather refreshing.

There's no 'it's all about the music' or 'I need space to create' from Nicki. Nope, just, check out these bad boys and try to memorize a few of my hooks and we're all good. Refreshing. And pretty damn hot. Enjoy.

(Be sure to check out Nicki's planned boob slip behind the scenes of her High School music video. Show us your boobs, Nicki!)

Nicki Minaj Flashes Her Goods for Elle

All the girls gossip sites are abuzz today with the shocking news that Nicki Minaj missed the opening of American Idol last night because she was stuck in her car in traffic. I'd comment, if I weren't late for work 78% of days. (But I am smart enough to sneak in the back door and pretend like I've been there for an hour when I pass somebody important). As for us, we'd rather comment on Nicki's cleavage in Elle magazine this month. Lust her or dislike her, or just plain want her to stop talking so you can dislike her less and lust her more, Nicki has the curves going on. And she's not afraid to show them.

Accentuate the positive, Julie Andrews taught me on endless loop in the Skinner box I was raised in as a child of a vastly overreaching social experiment. And Nicki must have heard the same. Which is why her asstastic and funbags are never not on public display. Enjoy.

Two Big Reasons To Love Nicki Minaj

The hip-hop singer turned curvaceous American Idol catatonic hostess knows what the boys like to see, that is, her girls stepping out of their top drawer for a little fresh air.

Nicki Minaj tore the cleavetastic roof off of Fig & Olive in Hollywood over the weekend, appearing in a boobtastic revealing dress that reminded everyone that no matter what you think of Nicki as a person and a musical artist, you're still going to stare at her funbags. It's a compulsion you learned years ago to stop trying to control. And Nicki obviously doesn't want you to stop. So, what the hell. Gaze away at those magnificent melons and pray Nicki gives a short speech. Enjoy.

Nicki Minaj Flashes Pasties Covered Boobs In Her New Music Video

I guess you could call this a triumph of musical artistry, or just lament that popular music places a higher emphasis on show and sizzle than it does on actual musical quality, but then you'd be lamenting the cause for some of the best views we get here on Egotastic!, including the boobtastic stylings of curvaceous Nicki Minaj, current American Idol judge (if anybody is still watching that) and current holder of one epically curvy body.

Now, Nicki can't just strut around topless on camera for her youthful audience, oh, that she could, and she likely would. But for today we'll settle for the risque dreamscape of Nicki in pasties covering her healthy bosom, and performing her song.... her song... hmm, not even what what that is. Not important. Enjoy.

Nicki Minaj Nearly Busts Out of Her Top For New Year’s Eve

If you've got to go with a single body to represent New Year's Eve, why not Nicki Minaj who was one of the many Hollywood pimpstresses flashing her own curvaceous form in Sin City for cash as the calendar flipped to 2013.

We're still baffled by how Nicki manages to stay contained within the low cut, tight dresses she decks out to show off in public these days, seeming to defy both laws of gravity and erection as the hip-hop singer dazzles the senses with her bodacious body. It's what Vegas is all about, especially on New Years. Big, bold, and busting out. Enjoy.

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