Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj Mighty Booty Shakes, Thumps, and Bites in ‘Anaconda’

Okay, the entirety of the Anaconda song is quite craptastic, and the video, well, it's inane, save for one large game-changing element -- massive Nicki Minaj and friends booty. But especially Nicki's. That Thor's Hammer of a thumper steals the show in this otherwise mindless and quite shoddily produced musical homage to Sir Mix-A-Lot I suppose. Not sure.

I do know that few on this planet have an asstastic like Nicki's that can make it move like that. Sure, some parts of it are artificially augmented, but this is Hollywood, the show, the movies, things are fake and still often quite compelling. There really aren't any guardians in our galaxy. But for two hours I bought into that happily. So too am I buying into the idea of playing paddleball with Nicki's mighty behind being the paddle and me being the ball on the string. I can't believe I managed to say that with using the word testicles. Enjoy.

Boobs N Pills N Potions for Nicki Minaj Music Video

Say what you will or must or just leaks out about Nicki Minaj the music artist, she is yet another Hall of Famer when it comes to bodily reveals in her popular music videos and appearances. While Nicki may not go full Rihanna in her work, she tapes up her nipples with the best of them while she lets her large funbags and booty aid in the interpretation of her deep songs.

This one is Pills N Potions and while I'm certain it contains some valuable life lessons for the kids, I'm content just to ogle Nicki's body and hear the sounds of Metallica as perma musical score in my libidinal led brain. Nicki, you are a thing alright. Less Twitter fights, more ta-ta's please. Drama is for people who can't be happy staring at nekkid girls all day long. Enjoy.

Anastasia Ashley Bikini Booty, Nicki Minaj Chest Puppies Reveal, and Alexa Vega Bikini Hotness Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

While we wait for the Free the Nipple campaign to explode a bit broader across the social media picture sites, there's still plenty of wicked hot celebrity hot bodied and gentleman ogler friendly narcissism going on on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and a bunch of other silly named sites and apps the kids are all using for their homework, naturally. How glorious to love in a digital age ripe with technology and an almost completely lack of humility. It really is combining to provide one of the most burgeoning departments in our mall store o the sextastic. Self-shared self-snapped hottie celebrity pics. Who would've thunk of this just ten years ago? What happens in the next ten years? I need to live!

Today's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the beautiful bikini body of Alexa Vega, the naughty nice cleavage of McKayla Maroney, the booty fineries of Jen Selter, the pasties covered ta-ta's of Nick Minaj on fruitful exhibition, Jennette McCurdy showing off hot body parts, Nina Agdal looking ever so fine, Anastasia Ashley bikini thumper perfection, Pia Mia Perez bikini showoff, and much much more. You owe it to the truly selfless brainiacs who run for public office to check out each and every one of these tremendously inspiring shared social media candid pics. Enjoy.

Nicki Minaj Wears Pasties On Her Boobs In A See Through Top

We can always count on Nicki Minaj to wear something interesting and stiffy inducing. This time she wore a see through top that looks like chain mail. It's like something Daenerys Targaryen would wear to the beach. But to wear a shirt this see through would be indecent. So, Nicki stuck a pair of silver star-shaped pasties on her nips to complete the ensemble. Nicki has some of the best funbags in the music biz right now. They are like a couple of over-ripe melons stuck on a perfectly fit body. The "shirt" is also a crop top so you can clearly see her bare mid-riff which is also a sight to be behold. It's true that Nicki is a bit...odd. But that's what makes her so fascinating. Who wants another boring pop star when you can have Nicki acting wonderfully weird?

Plus, she doesn't like to wear clothes. I fully support her right to go out on the town wearing barely anything but a pair of stickers on her nips. This is America, isn't it?

Nicki Minaj and Her Mighty Boobtastic Asstastic Combo-Pak Host a Pool Party in Vegas

If you boob it, they will come.

It's casino pool club opening season in Las Vegas, which means plenty of celebrities picked to pimp the shizz out of holiday events at places like the Aria, where Nicki Minaj brought her booty and ample cleavage to convince visitors to take a dip in the hotel pools. They used to be just pools, now they are beach clubs, which makes no sense, but it does allow drinks to be super expensive, albeit, you do get to drink while ogling Nicki Minaj's ta-ta's for a solid ten minutes. You can't really put a price on that. Though, if you could, I'd say the $20 cocktail charge is about right.

Nicki, you look mighty fine. I would personally love to swim in your deep end if you know what I'm saying. Wow, horrible pun. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Rowland and More Hotties at the 2014 Billboard Music Awards

The Billboard Music Awards was a veritable bevy of hotness. Nicki Minaj and her giant ta-tas were on full display. She has got to be in the top 5 most gargantuan melons on Earth right now. My hometown girl Kelly Rowland was wearing what is essentially a sports bra. I remember seeing Kelly and her girls back in Houston in the 90's. Those sweater puppies helped me through puberty. My girl Jennifer Lopez was also on hand wearing a sheer see through skirt and a tiny pair of short shorts. J-Lo's legs are friggin dynamite. That is what arroz con pollo does, god bless it. Kylie and Kendall Jenner were also there looking hot as F. Kylie had a top that was basically a glorified bikini top. One of my childhood crushes, Danica Mckeller, attended as well. She brings back memories of me sitting and staring lustfully at The Wonder Years.

One of the main reasons I want to become famous is so I can go to events like this. Besides the beach, the red carpet is the best place to ogle celebs.

Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, and Nicki Minaj Cleavetastic for The Other Woman Premiere

I can't help but feel like The Other Woman has been coming out in theaters for about ten years now. Maybe just because we've been tracking this film and it's boobtastic cast for so long now during production. But it's finally here. Which means red carpet. Which means big cleavage shows for a chick flick about affairs and fooling around and revenge and other things women love that I don't quite understand. But I do totally get Cameron Diaz in a low cut dress, who along with Kate Upton being her bosomy self and a surprise chesty appearance from the funbags of Nicki Minaj, made for one ripe melon filled red carpet in Los Angeles.

Now, whether or not your woman makes you go to see this movie, that's between you and your conscious. Yes, I know, Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz and bikinis and yadda yadda. We've seen all the photos. Do as you must, my wayward son. Just, please, don't explain yourself after the fact. It's in the details where we lose our souls. Enjoy.