As usual, I’m forced to take back all my mockery of the musical craptastic that is the American Music Awards. As always, the 2014 version may be a celebration of some true auditory torture, but it remains one of the single biggest night of decked out Hollywood hotties goodness of the year. There’s something to be said for that. That thing is mostly just ‘thanks’. Wow, the process of sextastic pop divas and celebrity invites was just unending tonight.
Some of my favorites were Jennifer Lopez, just so smoking hot, Charli XCX ogle worthy for sure, Selena Gomez form fitting goodness, Kate Beckinsale, Heidi Klum, Kendall Jenner, Nicki Minaj, Zendaya Coleman and many more looking outrageously fine. Check out the ladies. If you watch the show, well, that’s on you. I’d keep it on mute, then you might have something to store in the visual vaults. Enjoy.
You can only imagine the craptastic aural sensations emanating from the European version of the MTV Music Awards in Scotland over the weekend. Take all the horrible music of MTV America and multiple it by the further horridness that is Euro pop and you have some idea of the google times infinity levels of musical travesty. On the other hand, well, with lousy music comes hot women. It’s sort of axiomatic.
And those ladies showed up to flaunt, present, and perform at the awards show including Nicki Minaj, all curvy crazy, Ariana Grande looking her tushie finest in her show get up, Jordan Dunn, just superbly cleavetastic, and Charli XCX strutting her brunette hottie stuff. It’s a show about music, but if you turn the volume down and just focus on the amazingly hot looking ladies, it’s more than tolerable. But seriously, don’t turn the volume up or your brain will turn to a combination of strained peas and clotted cream. Enjoy.
Nicki Minaj can’t easily contain her curvaceous body so I suppose it made sense that she no longer really bothers trying. The Anaconda musical arts genius and all around bootylicious diva took to the clubs in Paris over the weekend flashing a good part of her underboob and tossing her thumper around like she meant to hurt somebody. The thing I admire about Nicki, she doesn’t do anything halfway.
While half the French people in attendance were trying to besmirch Nicki and plastic American culture, the other half were trying to get in eyeshot, if not handshot, of the hourglass figured superstar with the memorable shapes. Hey, there’s always time for besmirching once the music stops. Personally, I think Nicki makes a great ambassador of American culture. We are the shake it, you won’t break it kind of country. Enjoy.
Okay, the entirety of the Anaconda song is quite craptastic, and the video, well, it’s inane, save for one large game-changing element — massive Nicki Minaj and friends booty. But especially Nicki’s. That Thor’s Hammer of a thumper steals the show in this otherwise mindless and quite shoddily produced musical homage to Sir Mix-A-Lot I suppose. Not sure.
I do know that few on this planet have an asstastic like Nicki’s that can make it move like that. Sure, some parts of it are artificially augmented, but this is Hollywood, the show, the movies, things are fake and still often quite compelling. There really aren’t any guardians in our galaxy. But for two hours I bought into that happily. So too am I buying into the idea of playing paddleball with Nicki’s mighty behind being the paddle and me being the ball on the string. I can’t believe I managed to say that with using the word testicles. Enjoy.
Say what you will or must or just leaks out about Nicki Minaj the music artist, she is yet another Hall of Famer when it comes to bodily reveals in her popular music videos and appearances. While Nicki may not go full Rihanna in her work, she tapes up her nipples with the best of them while she lets her large funbags and booty aid in the interpretation of her deep songs.
This one is Pills N Potions and while I’m certain it contains some valuable life lessons for the kids, I’m content just to ogle Nicki’s body and hear the sounds of Metallica as perma musical score in my libidinal led brain. Nicki, you are a thing alright. Less Twitter fights, more ta-ta’s please. Drama is for people who can’t be happy staring at nekkid girls all day long. Enjoy.
While we wait for the Free the Nipple campaign to explode a bit broader across the social media picture sites, there’s still plenty of wicked hot celebrity hot bodied and gentleman ogler friendly narcissism going on on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and a bunch of other silly named sites and apps the kids are all using for their homework, naturally. How glorious to love in a digital age ripe with technology and an almost completely lack of humility. It really is combining to provide one of the most burgeoning departments in our mall store o the sextastic. Self-shared self-snapped hottie celebrity pics. Who would’ve thunk of this just ten years ago? What happens in the next ten years? I need to live!
Today’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the beautiful bikini body of Alexa Vega, the naughty nice cleavage of McKayla Maroney, the booty fineries of Jen Selter, the pasties covered ta-ta’s of Nick Minaj on fruitful exhibition, Jennette McCurdy showing off hot body parts, Nina Agdal looking ever so fine, Anastasia Ashley bikini thumper perfection, Pia Mia Perez bikini showoff, and much much more. You owe it to the truly selfless brainiacs who run for public office to check out each and every one of these tremendously inspiring shared social media candid pics. Enjoy.
We can always count on Nicki Minaj to wear something interesting and stiffy inducing. This time she wore a see through top that looks like chain mail. It’s like something Daenerys Targaryen would wear to the beach. But to wear a shirt this see through would be indecent. So, Nicki stuck a pair of silver star-shaped pasties on her nips to complete the ensemble. Nicki has some of the best funbags in the music biz right now. They are like a couple of over-ripe melons stuck on a perfectly fit body. The “shirt” is also a crop top so you can clearly see her bare mid-riff which is also a sight to be behold. It’s true that Nicki is a bit…odd. But that’s what makes her so fascinating. Who wants another boring pop star when you can have Nicki acting wonderfully weird?
Plus, she doesn’t like to wear clothes. I fully support her right to go out on the town wearing barely anything but a pair of stickers on her nips. This is America, isn’t it?