Here’s to hoping beyond hope we get to see Grecian goddess Maria Menounos candidly in a bikini at the beach this New Year’s holiday as we have in the past. Just leering at her sweet special female form in Shape magazine is tantalizing enough, but until we see the ocean blue lapping at her bikini bottoms in real time, I won’t be fully pleased. Am I asking for too much? I think not.
In the interim, feast the peeps upon Maria and her special all over hotness. She didn’t get to the top of her game by being a provocative interviewer or digging deep journalist. She just makes people feel happy. And erect. The combo being quite the job skill if you’ve got the means. I can’t think of a finer shape than Maria so this magazine honor seems rather appropriate. But, seriously, Maria, pack those thongs and get yourself to a tropical island. Daddy has needs. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Shape Magazine
Someday, I’d love to run a tequila brand like Casaamigos and have all the hotties in Hollywood show up to my place in cleavy and booty hot costumes that make little sense for grown ups, but every sense in the world for gentleman oglers. I’m not sure at what point Halloween went from being a silly kids holiday centered around cheap costumes and snagging Kit Kats in a pillow case to six-figure parties with adults decked out in professional makeup and wardrobes flashing their flesh, I’m just glad it happened. Halloween has become the single biggest exhibitionist holiday of the year for so many lovely ladies.
The bevy of ghoulish beauties at the Casaamigos party includes Billionaire Barbie and her pushed up mams, Maria Menounos and one G.I. mega booty, Mindy Robinson and her hot all over female form, Kate Hudson squeezably zombie butt, and much more. Granted, it’s not even Halloween until next week, but in places where everybody has their own personal makeup artist and wardrobe assistant, you can bet Halloween becomes and entire week or more of opportunity to dress up. It’s almost like an office party Hollywood style. Enjoy.
Somebody hold me. I think I feel a tremor coming on. Holy thumper-tastic views of the Grecian goddess Maria Menounos in a tight skirt and bare midriff top showing off for the The Critics Association summer preview tour. Maria has a new show coming up on E!, So NBCUniversal told her to slip into something a little tighter and create some momentum for her latest TV endeavor. I’d say it worked. Man, oh, man, just look at that whooty packed in so desperately and desirably tight.
Now, there’s little chance I’d ever watch anything on E!. The emasculation factor is just far too frightening. But I’m going to need to find a way to keep my Maria Menounos hot bodied ogling needs filled. I’ll work on some behind the scenes type shots of her ridiculously steamy sexy body. I can’t just go cold turkey on that hot roast beef. Now I’m hungry! Enjoy.
Access Hollywood journalist Maria Menounos showed the folks over at Boston Magazine how she stays in such redonkulous shape. She’s sports a series of workout outfits that display her super toned body. The one where she’s using some weird rubber band thing around her thighs is my favorite. She’s got some pretty serious cleavage action going on as she works to tighten up those legs. I’m not sure there is an exercise to make your boobs look bigger or if it’s all genetics. What I do know if that the good Lord in all his infinite wisdom gave Maria quite a rack to work with. She also has a belly button ring which always gets my pressure up. I mean, I like a belly button ring when it’s on a belly like Maria’s. Her mid-riff is crazy tight. Like, six-pack-abs tight.
It always makes me a little jealous when I see a stomach like that because I have more of a 12-pack set of abs myself. Then again, I’m sure a six-pack looks better on her than it would on me.
Whatever Maria Menounos is into, I’m into. Naturally, I was hoping it would be more about nekkid hot oil rubdowns, but fitness and health work okay too I suppose. I’d fake it for Maria.
The Grecian Goddess was in Boston over the weekend at one of those fitness expos where everybody is super amped and the women all wear their hair in buns, as hottie Maria was as she pranced across the stage to promote her own diet and health book out in stores everywhere. Wow, she looks amazing. Not amazing enough for me to work out super hard and stop eating corn nuts, but enough to write her a letter and ask Maria if she’d been my personal trainer so I can finally fit into my prom dress. Okay, the letter needs work. Maria does not. She is ever so perfect. Enjoy.
Sexy TV hostess and delicious bit of baklava Maria Menounos looked amazing in a tight pink dress on the set of Extra. You know those art pics where they paint clothes on model’s naked bodies? That’s how friggin’ tight this dress looks on her. Maria is in redonkulously good shape and the outfit shows off her every curve. She’s got a tiny waist but a nice shapely hip and booty region. If there is one thing that puts a frown on my face it’s a woman with no badonk in her trunk. I was brought up in the school of thought of the great philosopher Sir-Mix-A-Lot who said, “My anaconda don’t want none unless it’s got buns, hun”. Words to live by. Maria also has a pretty decent rack. Oh, to be the mic tech that has to pin a lav to those lovely ta-tas every day. What a lucky bastard.
I only ever watch Extra or Access Hollywood to get a look at Maria. It’s not because I really care what Hugh Jackman’s plans are for his summer vacation.
Someday, I ought to be receiving my own GLAAD Media Award for my rather specific and repeated endorsement of hot lesbionic action on film and at bus tops and in Sapphic celebrity pool houses. But this year, Jennifer Lopez won the top award which meant she showed up to the big award show gala decked out to impress. And she did. But she wasn’t the only lady that caught my eye on the red carpet as Greek Goddess Maria Menounous also showed up looking mighty fine, and Argentinean actress Sandra Vidal and Australian transplant Caitlin Stasey decided to bring out the serious cleave for the event as well.
So while I am obviously disappointed that my scissor kissing endorsements didn’t win me a trophy, I can’t help but feel a little glad myself at the sextastic sights on the red carpet for the inclusive organizations honorarium evening. And that concludes the worst pun ever. Enjoy.