Malin Akerman

READER FINDS: Paz de la Huerta Nekkid, Reese Witherspoon Topless, Elle Fanning See-Through and Much Much More…

By Bill Swift | Feb 13th, 2015 @ 10:59 am

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Sacred Friday. How you do benevolently visit us once a week to bring on thoughts of R&R and maybe just a little or a lot of T&A. Ampersands they do oblige. We celebrate each final day of the workweek here by prying open the oaken casket and withdrawing the sweet smelling bag filled with Reader Finds. I wish that you could hear the trumpets. It’s truly a jubilation on par with Chinese New Years spectacles in Shanghai. Please indulge your senses. And, no, those aren’t the sounds of firecrackers.

This week’s Reader Finds includes…. (credits to follow shortly, super secret promise).

Heidi Klum, Kat Dennings, and Jessica Alba Highlight the Hotness at the 2014 People’s Choice Awards

By Bill Swift | Jan 9th, 2014 @ 8:52 am

Jessica Alba At The 2014 People's Choice Awards In Los Angeles

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I still have no clue who the people in the People’s Choice Awards are, but that annual show the second week in January each year pretty much kicks off the A-list award show season, which means for the next six weeks you can anticipate a ton of glamorous looking hotties all decked out in their finest expensive frocks walking up and down the red carpet discussing the truly wonderful subject of self-importance. We once had a blogger award show but everybody who showed up was scruffy and doughy and wearing ironic T-shirts and not wanting to talk to each other. Albeit, it was slightly more real than the People’s Choice Awards.

Despite the silliness of the award show concept, it does bring out the major league celebrity good-lookers, including last night, Heidi Klum, Jessica Alba, Beth Behrs, Kat Dennings, and Malin Akerman, who were my own Personal Choice Awards for best looking cleavage shows on the red carpet. Not that anybody would be slightly interested in that when they could be watching boy teens they’ve never heard of receive awards for something or other. What a night (to read about the next morning). Enjoy.

THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS BACK IN 2011, NOW THAT WAS A YEAR

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Malin Akerman Is Single and Flashing Her Tennis Panties

By Bill Swift | Dec 6th, 2013 @ 2:25 pm

Malin Akerman Flashes Panties While Filming 'Trophy Wife' Tennis Scene in LA

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You know we never root for the breakup of celebrity couples, but when I heard that Malin Akerman was splitting up with her French husband of too many years, I did feel a little happy tingle in my intellectual parts. She really is an underrated blonde hottie. Maybe it’s because she’s never had a big time starring role, or maybe it’s just because not everybody joins me in thinking happy thoughts about her in the bubble bath each evening, but Malin deserves far more attention.

I’m not sure if Malin was thinking the same thing on the set of Trophy Wife where she was flashing her tennis panties and her keester and all-around beautiful from behind sextastic attitude of gratitude. I’m leering, Malin. And appreciating. And as God is my witness, soon too will the rest of the peeping world. Enjoy.

MALIN AKERMAN IN A BIKINI CRUISING THE BEACH

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Malin Akerman In Tight Black Leather Is Like Something Out of a Fantasy Fun Time

By Bill Swift | Jul 23rd, 2013 @ 12:50 pm

Malin Akerman Black Leather Outfit Photoshoot in Beverly Hills

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I know it’s for some upscale photoshoot for some hoity toity product I could never afford, but then I could not afford to not imagine Malin Akerman and her totally underrated goodies goodness in black leather on the streets of Beverly Hills. She produced a child recently and I am marveling at her bodily comeback. Obviously, I would need a much closer inspection to finalize the comeback label, but a thorough 90-minute loofah rub down of her every inch ought to just about do the trick. Maybe a few minutes more for penalty time.

Why does Malin Akerman never get mention in top hotties lists? This is a mystery to me. Enjoy.

MALIN AKERMAN IN A BIKINI WAS A PRECIOUS SIGHT A COUPLE YEARS BACK

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Jessica Alba, Malin Akerman, and Talulah Riley Lead List of Hotties at Environmental Media Awards

By Bill Swift | Oct 1st, 2012 @ 4:32 pm

Talulah Riley Shows Some Cleavage at the 2012 Environmental Media Awards

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I’m not exactly sure what the Environmental Media Awards are, but as a person who not too long ago recycled more than 100 adult films on video tape, I’d like to think I should be up for such an award. I didn’t shed tears like a girl child for nothing.

Either way, the Environmental Awards brought out some seriously good looking women, the kind of women who truly make this planet livable. Sextastic celebrities such as Talulah Riley, Malin Akerman, Jessica Alba, and Jennifer Akerman (Malin’s little step-sis). Granted, the number of babies I’d like to have with these women would overpopulate the world, but that would be a hella fun. Enjoy.

TALULAH RILEY, EPIC HOT IN ESQUIRE

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Victoria Justice, Kari Byron, Ariana Grande, and Padma Lakshmi Headline Hotness at Creative Arts Emmy Awards

By Bill Swift | Sep 17th, 2012 @ 8:45 am

Victoria Justice Wears a Sexy Dress at The 2012 Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards

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Talk about some of the biggest names in nerd boy lust-dom — Kari Byron flashing leg and body and all decked out, doubly so for Ariana Grande, cooking mega-sextastic Padma Lakshmi, iCarly diva-ette Miranda Cosgrove, Malin Akerman, Victoria Justice, Jenner Morrison. Damn, the Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards, whatever the heck they are, brought out some serious PG-rated girls flashing decked out exhibitions on the red carpet over the weekend.

It was like a parade designed specifically to send fanboys rushing to their basements to takes a first crack at their No-Drip technology gallons o’ lotion dispensers. I guess that’s the creative arts part of the equation. Enjoy.

CLARE GRANT ALMOST FLASHED HER FULL GRANTS AT LAST YEAR'S AWARDS

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MSM Weekly Roundup of the Cinematic Flesh Includes Topless Malin Akerman, Ellen Barkin, and Nicole Kidman (VIDEO)

By Bill Swift | Jun 15th, 2012 @ 9:53 am

Mr. Skin Minute for June 15, 2012 Includes Malin Akerman and Nicole Kidman

Click to See the Mr. Skin Minute Uncensored

When I was a kid, Johnny Sad-Bones was the old dude theater attendant who would let us sneak into the R-rated movies after they had started if we gave him a buck. One summer, Johnny stopped asking for just money and the police had to take him away, but before that time, man how we saw some wonderful boobage on the big screen.

I’m reminded about of Johnny Sad-Bones, the good parts at least, when taking a looksee at the triple threat of hot actress boobtastic our friends at Mr. Skin are recommending for your weekend viewing skinematics, including Malin Akerman topless in the original Harold and Kumar, Ellen Barkin now almost 25-years way backward to steamy nekkid sexy making in Sea of Love, and Nicole Kidman, the modern day version, knocking topless boots in Hemingway and Gellhorn. It’s a trifecta of the ta-ta-licious! Enjoy.

Don’t forget to get a Mr. Skin quite affordable but ever desirable subscription for the dad in your life (or yourself) for this Father’s Day.

See the Mr. Skin Minute Uncensored »