Eeesh. That has got to be the worst look Madonna has ever had. She looks like a he. I don't know who convinced her that this was a good idea, but that someone needs to be fired and fast. I just hope, for her sake, it's a wig. Or that she has another wig if it's not.
Eeesh.
Hey Lindsay, don't you feel special now? I bet you do. Must be nice to know that you rank higher than Britney Spears, at least in the eyes of Madonna that is (though anyone who thinks anything good about Britney Spears is pretty fucked in the head if you ask me).
What am I talking about, you ask? Well, MSNBC's The Scoop is reporting that Madonna has ended her friendship with Britney Spears in favour of one with Linsday Lohan. But the why is the eral crux of it. Madonna dumped Britney, not because she's turned into a disgusting, redneck mess. No, her reasons are much deeper.
Is she against Britney's stance on child safety? No. Is she afraid of contracting some disease by just standing near Britney? No. Is she utterly repulsed by Britney's choice in men? No. Madonna has dumped Britney, because Britney dumped Kabbalah.
That's right, the one sane thing Britney Spears has done in recent memory is what has Madonna ticked off. And since Lindsay Lohan's young, impressionable mind is still so susceptible to the latest Hollywood crap trend, she's jumped on board the red-bracelet-wearing cult, and Madonna loves her for it.
Lohan recently acknowledged that she was "looking into Kabbalah," and now, Madonna wants to sing a duet with the potential convert, according to In Touch Weekly.
"Madonna's giving Lindsay advice on her music career, and she wants to work on a film with Madonna, too!" an insider told the mag. The source says the two talk a few times a week and are planning a "spiritual journey" once Madonna's current tour is over. "They're going to visit the Holy Land," the insider says.
See it doesn't take that much to get ahead in Hollywood. Just a pretty face, a great set of tits, and the willingness to completely subvert your entire personality in hopes that someone equally as vain, but marginally more influential will take care of you. Done and Done.
Well, this is an odd one. Rolling Stone reports that Madonna will be playing at the Coachella music festival this summer.
"I've never performed at a festival," said Madonna. "And I'm especially excited about playing at Coachella before I start my own tour." She joins a massive bill that includes industrial act Tool, dark pop-rockers Depeche Mode, post-punk act Franz Ferdinand, rapper Common, and buzzed-about reggae newcomers Matisyahu and Damian Marley.
Now, I may be wrong here, but I thought Coachella was the festival for all those Emo-loving, Seth Cohen wannabes, not Madonna groupies. Of course, Madonna is all about coopting anything remotely cool, so I guess it makes sense.
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Egotastic
Madonna Nude in Nip / Tuck
In the early and mid-Nineties, you couldn't turn your head without seeing Madonna nude in books, movies, fashion shows, and pretty much everywhere else. And now, some fifteen years later, you're about to see Madonna nude, once again. According to The Sun, we will soon see Madonna naked on the hit series Nip/Tuck, when does a sex scene with Julian McMahon.
Now, the real question is do we really want to see Madonna nude after so long? She's definitely older, but I'd say the botox has taken care of most of that. And while she has the jaw of a bodybuilder who's overdosed on testosterone, judging by the cleavage she's showing off in that white dress, I wouldn't mind seeing Madonna naked again. If only for purely scientific reasons.