Egotastic
Can a sculpture be a pervert? I think so. At least a giant bronze fish that once had a run in with Madonna seems to be a bit on the sleazy side. You may recall, if you are old like me, that Madonna used to be really hot. This was before the Kabbalah turned her slowly into Gollum. In 1992 she published a book called SEX, which mostly involved her in various naked scenarios. She even got it on with Vanilla Ice for "art". One of these pics involved a large bronze fish. Now that same fish that once touched Madonna's cooter is for sale on Ebay for $9500. The worst part is the product description which is "written" by the fish. He states,
"I am Otto, the great bronze fish...I am the fish that had a very special encounter with Madonna in 1992 when she posed naked on me for a photo in her famous SEX book. My interlude with Madonna involved intimate contact that culminated with the extraordinarily artful photo.
OK, pretty creepy. But then it gets worse as he offers himself as a venue for your own debaucheries:
It’s been over 21 years, but I still savor the memory of Madonna’s naked body, and I am definitely better for the experience. Trust me, Madonna was superfine in her prime and now you can amuse and delight yourself and your friends by re-creating the iconic pose that captured her so beautifully. You will be the auteur as I’m ready and primed for new adventures! Everyone loves posing on me, and I am proud to display the strength of my spouting water stream."
I can take a lot of things but I draw the line at sexually predatory sculpture. It just goes to show the lethal power of Madonna's vagina. She ruined Sean Penn, she tainted the name of Jewish mysticism with her wankery, and now she can apparently animate horny statues like fishy Pygmalion brought to life by her vagina wizard. Just say no to Madonna's p#$sy power.
Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Miley Cyrus, and Selena Gomez Repping Pop Hotties at 2013 Billboard Music Awards
Okay, let's put his out there first. The Billboard Music Awards are handed out based on the sale of music, which means, the taste of your average young teen girl dictates the winners. So, musically speaking, yeah, not so good. But, and this is a big but, it also means that all the big names in music, and all the A-list hottie divas, also are obliged to say yes to attend. And not just attend, but look their stellar best ,in Vegas every year for the ceremony. So, basically you have a party with killer looking girls and lousy music. You'd make that trade any day.
Leading the list of lookers at the celebration of craptastic music was Taylor Swift surprised once again to win awards even though pre-announced, Jennifer Lopez still hanging with the youngin's, Selena Gomez looking might fine save for rumors of her reunited for a fourth time with The Devil's Midget, Miley Cyrus sparkling hard these days, heck, even Kesha managed to look rather fetching, a sure sign that everybody's game has been stepped up for the evening. And then a whole lot of celebrity hodgepodge of hotness. It was quite a night. I wish I could of been there, but three different restraining orders by various pop divas formed an intersecting domain of denial around me being in Vegas. People take peeping in windows so damn serious these days. Enjoy.
LAST YEAR'S BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS, FULL OF CLEAVE