Madonna Topless Teen Modeling Days Up for Sale


Before she was The Material Girl and before she was turning popular music for girls into songs about sexual rebellion, Madonna was struggling to pay her rent as a college-aged teen and sitting nekkid as  portrait model for artists and photographers. According to the story, Madonna was getting paid about ten bucks an hour for her modeling work. I'd laugh, except at nineteen I was getting eight bucks and hour to sell women's shoes and I gladly would've taken a raise to let somebody paint my bare scrote and a plate full of apples. In the very least, the work space would've smelled less like feet.

Madonna's teen photos are part of the Bob Guccione photo and art collection going on auction on November 9th. You can only imagine what the former Penthouse founder collected for art. Enjoy.

Madonna Wears a Thong, How (Not So) Bizarre

I guess there's really no age at which you become too old to wear a thong, just an age at which nobody wants to see you in them anymore. Well into her 50's, Madonna is still flashing her booty in a thong, in this case, on the pages of Harper's Bazaar magazine.

As to whether it's time for The Material Girl to hang up the thong and maybe put on a housecoat, I'll leave that decision up to you. She's obviously still hitting the gym pretty rigorously, and while you can't ever completely fight Father Time, I can see an argument going either way for granny to keep or ditch the thong. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday, Madonna (Once Quite the Looker)

Madonna turned fifty-five today, and while a whole bunch of forces of nature and unnatural have transformed Madonna into a slightly less appealing figure of late, there's no denying that the Material Girl has been on the wankable list of many a man over the past thirty years. Let us not forsake the benevolence of such a gift.

Today, on Madonna's birthday, we take a look at just a few of our favorite somewhat recently photos of the undeniable self-marketing genius and remember  time when even though we never cared much for the music, we had a little blonde ambition private time fun time with the mega pop star. Enjoy.

Don’t Forget About Madonna, Says Madonna

Madonna was the forerunner of much of the publicity the younger girls are receiving today through social media self-promotion. She was making herself the center of attention and scandal decades ago. Don't think she's just going to let herself be replaced by girls half or less her age with Twitter accounts and little self-reflection.

Madonna took to posting pictures of her own self over the weekend booty shaking and preparing for whatever it is her next overpriced concert tour involves. I'll say this, she does keep herself trim. Sometimes, a bit too trim, but she hasn't exactly let herself go. She's out there daily sweating with her Pilates and yoga just like the girls three decades younger. So, there's that. And selfies now. Which I fully expect to get raunchier and raunchier as time marches on. Enjoy.

Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Miley Cyrus, and Selena Gomez Repping Pop Hotties at 2013 Billboard Music Awards

Okay, let's put his out there first. The Billboard Music Awards are handed out based on the sale of music, which means, the taste of your average young teen girl dictates the winners. So, musically speaking, yeah, not so good. But, and this is a big but, it also means that all the big names in music, and all the A-list hottie divas, also are obliged to say yes to attend. And not just attend, but look their stellar best ,in Vegas every year for the ceremony. So, basically you have a party with killer looking girls and lousy music. You'd make that trade any day.

Leading the list of lookers at the celebration of craptastic music was Taylor Swift surprised once again to win awards even though pre-announced, Jennifer Lopez still hanging with the youngin's, Selena Gomez looking might fine save for rumors of her reunited for a fourth time with The Devil's Midget, Miley Cyrus sparkling hard these days, heck, even Kesha managed to look rather fetching, a sure sign that everybody's game has been stepped up for the evening. And then a whole lot of celebrity hodgepodge of hotness. It was quite a night. I wish I could of been there, but three different restraining orders by various pop divas formed an intersecting domain of denial around me being in Vegas. People take peeping in windows so damn serious these days. Enjoy.

Madonna’s Sexy Fish For Sale

Can a sculpture be a pervert? I think so. At least a giant bronze fish that once had a run in with Madonna seems to be a bit on the sleazy side. You may recall, if you are old like me, that Madonna used to be really hot. This was before the Kabbalah turned her slowly into Gollum. In 1992 she published a book called SEX, which mostly involved her in various naked scenarios. She even got it on with Vanilla Ice for "art". One of these pics involved a large bronze fish. Now that same fish that once touched Madonna's cooter is for sale on Ebay for $9500. The worst part is the product description which is "written" by the fish. He states,

"I am Otto, the great bronze fish...I am the fish that had a very special encounter with Madonna in 1992 when she posed naked on me for a photo in her famous SEX book. My interlude with Madonna involved intimate contact that culminated with the extraordinarily artful photo.

OK, pretty creepy. But then it gets worse as he offers himself as a venue for your own debaucheries:

It’s been over 21 years, but I still savor the memory of Madonna’s naked body, and I am definitely better for the experience. Trust me, Madonna was superfine in her prime and now you can amuse and delight yourself and your friends by re-creating the iconic pose that captured her so beautifully. You will be the auteur as I’m ready and primed for new adventures! Everyone loves posing on me, and I am proud to display the strength of my spouting water stream."

I can take a lot of things but I draw the line at sexually predatory sculpture. It just goes to show the lethal power of Madonna's vagina. She ruined Sean Penn, she tainted the name of Jewish mysticism with her wankery, and now she can apparently animate horny statues like fishy Pygmalion brought to life by her vagina wizard. Just say no to Madonna's p#$sy power.


Madonna Whips Out Her Bare Udder Again to an Utterly Unamused Concert Crowd in Paris (VIDEO)


Flash me once, shame on you. Flash me twice, shame on Madonna.

The Material Girl once again picked another big city concert stage to yank out her fifty-plus milker and flash it bare to the oohs and aahs of Parisian fans, or whatever noise French folk who pay to see Madonna make when she not so candidly whips out her teat in the middle of a show.

We last saw sight of Madonna's past-season melon in Istanbul, and I suppose she has some formulae for the lucky contestant cities that get to see her bare top on stage, or maybe she's just plotting her revenge based on grudges she still holds from 13th century European land wars gone bad. Enjoy.

(Thanks to EgoReader 'Michael' for a late night delivery of Madonna topless; thanks we think.)