Kim Kardashian turned 34. Various body parts, harder to determine age without forensic pathology. But Kim and her parts celebrated big time in Vegas over the weekend her birthday and more so the fact that she was getting paid to celebrate her birthday. They just don’t hand that privilege out to anyone. It helps if you promise to being along your healthy humpers and show them off to the entire Vegas nightclub audience who has to pay to join your little soiree.
I always had trouble getting people to show up to my birthday parties, let alone paying a cover to get in. Probably has something to do with that dress she’s wearing. I know I couldn’t pull that off. I’m assuming it was designed especially for Kim and her less than 34 year old yummy yams. If only she could get 34 of them, then we could’ve have blown them out and applauded. Kim, you are not shy about showing off your moneymakers. I will give you that. Enjoy.
Kim Kardashian wore an outfit on a Taco Bell date with Kanye West that showed off all of her best assets. First, she was sporting a pair of cut-off shorts that accentuated that legendary booty. Seriously, in the history of booties going back to the beginning of time has there been a greater butt than that of Kim K? I think not. Then she wore a sweater that had its entire back missing to further show off her amazing curves. Of course, she also forgot to wear a bra and she was nipping fiercely through the sweater’s front.
Usually, when I go to Taco Bell I am just wearing sweatpants and an old Legend of Zelda t-shirt. Leave it to Kim to make even a run for the border an opportunity to sexy it up. Kanye got a Beefarito with fire sauce and his hotty wife on the side.
Oh, Kim Kardashian. Every day I wake up, make some coffee, pour myself a bowl of Cap’n Crunch and ask myself, “How will Kim show off her splendid funbags today?” I am never disappointed. Today’s entry in the ongoing battle between Kim and clothes is this see-through dress. You can see the exact outline of her Kardashinips because, like most days, Kim forgot to wear a bra. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Kim despises bras more than any other woman in the world. What Earthly object of cotton, silk, and wire could hope to contain such magnificent orbs of lady flesh? None, that’s why she doesn’t wear them. That Kanye is one lucky bastard. He gets unlimited access to those badboys whenever he wants.
Some people have all the luck. All that we mere mortals can do is stare at her sweater hams and dream of the day when all women have ta-tas like Kim and bras are a thing of the past.
Hall of fame hottie Kim Kardashian was sexy as F in a black lace number that she wore to the Givenchy show in Paris. Essentially, Kim was wearing a lace teddy with sheer stockings. I guess she just decided that she was going to wear her underwear to the show and forgo the whole clothing thing. I celebrate her decision to do so. Needless to say that those legendary funbags were prominently featured. Say what you want about Kim, there are two facts that are undeniable: 1) She has one of the most spectacular racks on the planet. The cleavage in this outfit can be seen from space. 2) Her booty is the best butt that has ever been fashioned by mother nature. These are not up for negotiation and are simply scientific truths like gravity or that people with small hands are creepy.
I wake up in the morning wondering what new and exciting cleavtacular outfits Kim is going to wear. I think I need to get a hobby.
When you think hot Parisian fashion, you think Kim Kardashian. Okay, when you think big mostly bare boobtastic and Parisian fashion, you think Kim Kardashian. The reality star is never to be outdone at a get together of high society when it comes to showing off that which made her famous. Well, not all the things that made her famous as that would be too showy even by French standards, but you can bet her funhags were on serious display during Fashion Week in Paris.
Now, somebody who knows or cares more about fashion could tell you exactly what show Kim was attending in her extreme open front outfit. But suffice it to say, she got the attention of all the cameras and at least one crazy paparazzi stalker that I believe was her basic intention. Have boobs will travel for this brunette merchandising queen. Enjoy.
Updated Note: You can see all the Fappening 2.0 photos in their glory on DrunkenStepfather. (**sorry, these are now gone)
Editor’s Note: we will not be publishing these photos for the time being pursuant to hot boobs code something or other. However, I’m quite certain that Reddit will be maintaining Fappening 2.0 photos, as well as Subreddits and other more bold users who don’t fear the wrath of Khan. I can’t give any credence to these links or what you might find, but funbags and lady nests seem likely. Hide the children and the family pets, please.
(Lex at WWTDD has a stunningly quick response to today’s celebrity leaked nudes and maybe some better links.)
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I do love that term Fappening. With Kim Kardashian, you never know if her photos were invaded or she decided to be a part of the action in the Celebrity Leaked Funbag scandal of 2014. I would not put anything past her. What is clear is that photos of Kim Kardashian topless and sort of ass-bottomless are floating around the net and she looks absolutely outstanding.
Love her or hate her, Kim Kardashian of especially a few years ago has a body that had every NFL, NBA, and Pro Rapper League all-star pining to have a sample. That doesn’t just happen to every simple girl next door. Enjoy.
Nobody quite carries herself like Kim Kardashian. The original dramatically curved petite celebrity with the accentuated derriere and the accentuated funbags that form an almost perfectly balanced apparatus for ogling. It’s as if Kim’s body was designed in a laboratory by really smart, and really horny, engineering students who wanted to prove the laws of cantilever by way of things that would give them woodies. Success I’d say.
Kim was strutting around town in a tight skirt and a top that showed off her equally robust pleasure puppies in what has to be her iconic T &A look. That which brought her fame and fortune and, someday, likely arthritis. Nevertheless, it truly is hard not to look. I think people unfairly rate her because of her personality. Alas, if only we men could stop being so un-shalow and go back to ogling her body parts. Enjoy.