Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Makes Our List of Wham-Bam-Thank-You-BBWs

Kanye West might have a forward looking view on music, but he had better be looking forward, rearward and 360-degrees around Kim Kardashian these days, because this woman is blowing up big time, as her body reverts further toward its natural full-court lady size. It's like watching one of those shape-shifters in sci-fi movies as their doppleganging begins to sputter and they morph painfully back into their original blobby form.

Kim Kardashian packed herself into a tight black leather dress over the weekend in Miami to film her reality show, the one designed to please the craniums of 3 million grown women who sleep with stuffed animals, and Kim herself was stuffed tight into her dress, like a bloodwurst sausage with tasty fat packed into an intestinal casing, delicious, but most definitely a little scary to dig into.

We don't know what to make of Kim Kardashian, but I'd say future episodes of the craptastic TV show are definitely going to include Khloe yelling at Kim for borrowing her muumuus without asking. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Dressed Up As Fatwoman, Err, Catwoman, for Halloween

Look, we like our women in all shapes and sizes, we really do, but when a woman has but one and only one asset on her resume and it happens to be the shape of her form, she's going to come under the body microscope that much more than say, John Candy. Nobody cared how fat John Candy was, well, maybe his doctor. But when Kim Kardashian, perhaps the world's greatest, if not most highly paid, straight up body-for-hire pimpstress, starts packing on the lbs., not only might we comment, we feel downright obliged.

Last night in Miami, whilst filming her reality show, Kim and Kourtney Fake It for Money, Kim Kardashian donned a full on pleather cat woman suit made famous in various feature films and fetish roleplay sessions in my basement over the past several years and attempted to get by with the 'slimming black' effect. It was like she sewed herself into one giant body-Spanx, whose seams held firm, provided Kim did not imbibe or ingest any food or water through the entire evening.

In fact, some might suggest that when she returned home and serviced Kanye in the way her mama taught her, her cat suit literally exploded off of her body. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Shopping for Expensive New Cars: Faptastic or Just Plain Fat?

Hmm, we're on a fine line here. Despite our generally nauseous consideration of mega-merch pimping attention ho' Kim Kardashian, we've always had the 'but I wouldn't kick that fine curvy thang out of my bed' guy fallback position. But, lately, Kim's been hitting the pudding bucket at the Sizzler' salad bar a bit heavy and her curves are beginning to explode.

Decked out in one of her multi-thousand dollar designer outfits at a Miami high-end car dealership, Kim flashed some serious body esses, but is it past the point of bootylicious and into the realm of 'baby needs to take a break from the feedbag' territory. Only you, our dedicated and smartest readers on the Internet can decide for sure.

Kim Kardashian: Still Faptastic or Just Plain Old Fattie?

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Kim Kardashian, Irina Shayk, and Bar Refaeli Lead List of Ogle-Worthy Women at Angel Ball

As usual, there was another elite ball that I have no idea what it's all about, but I do know that a bunch of hot celebrity chicks showed up all decked out. The Angel Ball in N.Y.C. brought out its fair share of gowned celebrity sextastic including Kim Kardashian, whose professional vagina is set to be engaged to Kanye West any day now, Irina Shayk, who never doesn't look hot, and Bar Refaeli, flashing some serious model leg.

All in all, it's what I imagine a fancy ball to be, minus me spiking the punch and ardently trying to grab a girls arse through her poofy gown. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Big Weekend O’ See-Through Commando Skirt, See-Through Top, and Leather Mini in Miami

Wow, what a weekend for Kim Kardashian, still down in Miami filming episodes of Kim and Kourtney Fake It For Money, the uber-Kardashian earner went to great lengths to draw attention away from the Freshmen Fifteen she's packed on the last month by wearing all kinds of revealing and body hugging outfits, accentuating her deep curves and grooves and chunky bits you'd like to soil if you had the chance, or the financial resources to book.

Leading the way was Kim out to dinner with Kanye in Miami and apparently (hold your gasps) across the street from where former dickinassinstuffer Reggie Bush was dining with some chick he knocked up recently. Playing second fiddle to no lesser biyatch, Kim hit the Miami restaurant scene in a butt-hugging, sheer skirt that revealed what appears to be an entirely and truly command two-handfuls of asstastic. Granted, there could be a thong stuff up in that beast somewhere, but we don't see it.

Earlier in the day, Kim hit South Beach for even more food with little big sister Khloe Kardashian, Kim in a sheer see-through top to remind everybody of her upper assets, and also to distract Khloe from eating small unattended children along the beach front promenade.

Finally, Kim whipped out the short leather skirt over the weekend, putting beef in beef-hide and reminded all of us that her engorged sitter cheeks are up for big to the rootingesst tootingest cowboy with the most greenbacks.

Yep, quite a weekend for Kim. Large and in-charge. Enjoy.

Kim Is Going to Be A Big Ole Fattie, But She Ain’t There Yet, So Let’s Enjoy

It's genetic destiny. Every bit as powerful as her innate desire for public attention, fanfare, celebrity cock, and money. Someday, Kim Kardashian is going to be a BBW. There's not enough amphetamine-laced diet powder in the Kardashian compound pantry to thwart that inevitability.

Kim-Kardashian-on-PlayboyPlusBut, in the interim, between now and fat jeans, there's still a window of opportunity for booty-lovers and people who have no trouble looking past character flaws on a woman so long as they can get into her pants (we call these people -- all men) to visually delight in the outrageous curves on the body of this not actress, not dancer, not entertainer, not singer, not creative individual who isn't leaving the spotlight until there's nobody left on this planet who will still stare at her tits. And that person might just be me. Or you. Enjoy.

Remember to check out Kim Kardashian in her bunny birthday suit on PlayboyPlus.

 

Kim Kardashian Unbuttoned Top Diverts Your Attention from Her Waistline to Her Boob Line

I'll say this, the rather large upside of Kim Kardashian packing on a few lbs. and giving a glimpse of her genetic destiny these past couple of months is her campaign to use her massive mammaries to draw the attention of eyes and lenses a foot up from her bulging buffet line to her far more desirable funbag flashing.

Such was the strategy as Kim strolled through the streets of Miami today with her top mostly unbuttoned, her still magnificent sized melons readily peepable from most every angle, a full on slight of hand, err, slight of teat to accentuate the positive. And, yes, it did work. Enjoy.

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