Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Nipple, Bella Thorne Eats a Hot Dog, Sasha Cohen Bikini Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup

This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup was so big, I had to rent a warehouse just to store it in. Well, the Roundup plus my newly arrived mini-museum of beers from around the world. I tried to sign up for the girls from around the world club but it was out of my price range. Beer is a nice stand-in. And speaking of stand-ins, wow, the sextatstic celebrities stood in big time this week for racy, naughty, hot and heavy social media candids. I dare say this was the biggest week ever, but only because I can't wait for it to be topped.

This week's Roundup includes Bella Thorne being teasy Bella Thorne, Sasha Cohen in a bikini, Selena Gomez bikini, Jo-Jo Levesque busty bikini, Emily Ratajkowski cleavy, Kelly Osbourne booty, Pia Mia Perez cleavy, and much much more. You owe it to the 1-0 World Cup loss slide-into the next round by the USMNT to check out each and every one of these wicked hot social media self-candids. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Booty Packed Into Ultra Tight Skirt in West Hollywood

As the old saying goes, you don't want to know how the sausage is made, you just want to taste it off the grill. I may have added that last part, but it certainly seems apropos to Kim Kardashian and her moneymaker behind when packed into a skirt so tight, the inventors of the fabric ought to win some kind of Nobel award for manufacturing achievement.

Kim was out filming her reality show in West Hollywood and I suppose was only being shot from the front, as her entire bra was exposed in the back, albeit that's also where her million dollar butt-baby was stationed, so I'm not exactly sure what the E! camera instructions are. Either way, let's be honest, Kim's ginormous seat cans are impressive to the layman and the cleric both. She may be one of the most hated women in poll after poll, but there's nary a man alive who wouldn't like to try and scale Mount Butt-Everest at some point around midnight on a Saturday. Enjoy.

Kim Kardashian Is Cleavtacular In New York City

Newlywed Kim Kardashian flashed some serious cleav in a revealing top in New York City. And I mean revealing. The thing is split almost to her navel allowing a full view of the sides of those famous funbags. The seam is just to the side of her nips. I respect Kim for having the guts to walk around New York with her lovelies hanging out. She is comfortable in her own skin and doesn't mind showing off some of that skin. Or a lot of it. That Kanye West is one lucky dude. Not only is he a gajillionare, he gets to come back to those lovely lady mounds every night. Some guys get all the breaks.

I don't know how I didn't see this cleavage from my apartment in Brooklyn. If I can see the Empire State Building from my street I should have been able to spot Kim's cleavage in Manhattan, right?

Kim Kardashian Flashes Sideboob In Paris

Kim Kardashian was seen walking around Paris with her Eiffel Towers practically bursting from her couture. Kim was sporting a very revealing tank top and she "accidentally" forgot to wear a bra, mon dieu! There is all kinds of sideboob action going on. Her funbags shone forth like beacons of American freedom to the Frenchies. There is no denying that Kim's jugs are spectacular. She knows it too, which is why she so often has them on display. Magnifique! Kim is in France for her wedding and is going to also attend the Cannes Film Festival. Speaking of cans, her legendary booty was also shown off in her tight skirt.

I'm not exactly sure why Kim is going to Cannes, after all there isn't a category for the Palm d'Or for reality TV... Yet. But I think they should seriously consider adding a "best performance by a pair of ta-tas". I nominate Kim's sweater puppies.

Kim Kardashian Shows Cleavage At Upfronts Event in NYC

Kim Kardashian was very upfront and the upfronts in NYC. The boobtacular star of Keeping Up With The Kardashians sported a top with a plunging neckline that showed off all of the cleav. The event was the upfront for the various TV networks that include E!, which runs her show. An upfront is a spectacle that the various networks put on to show off their programming schedule for potential sponsors. I have no doubt that any advertiser that caught sight of Kim's double D's immediately purchased giant chunks of ad space. My luck is that I worked in the uplink truck at this event for the rehearsal but not for the main show, so I missed seeing Kim's funbags in person. Does that seem fair to you? Because it doesn't to me.

It's difficult to say which parts of Kim Kardashian are the most spectacular. Times like these in which her ta-tas are out make me think it's her bosoms but then there is that magical booty. Luckily, I don't have to choose just one.

Kim Kardashian Booty and Pearls for Big Bridal Shower Numero Tres

There's no way Kim Kardashian is celebrating her third marriage without showing off a healthy dose of what keeps the men coming back with proposals, her mighty dumper typically decked out in tight white for more jovial celebrations like her friends and family bridal shower. Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, and I'm sure I've said most of it, when it comes time to get all the attention in the room, Kim figures out a way to do it. A trait many would see she has in common with her new husband to be.

Kim did a little shopping both pre and post bridal shower, and I imagine a healthy bit of receiving during the shower itself as well I'd guess. Have asstastic will travel, or get married. I'm already excited about who will be number four. But I do love a good celebrity wedding. Enjoy.

Rihanna Sheer Boobtastic, Kim Kardashian Panties Flash, Zoe Kravitz Near Lady Nest Exhibition and Other Goodies from the Costume Institute Ball at the Met

I can always tell when one of the season's grand balls is taking place, because I'm home eating Klondike bars and watching Lifetime and wondering when my Prince Charming will arrive to pick me up. He never comes, ah, the story of my life. But, thankfully, I do have spies at all of these events, spies with powerful lenses to pick up the hotness from a bevy of decked out ladies trying to out show-off each other on the red carpet of the Metropolitan Museum. The Costume Institute Ball is one of the biggest celebrity galas of the Spring season, a must attend for the rich and famous, the famous, the rich, or just super hot women who get to walk amongst them.

The haute couture led to some surprisingly nice revelations, including Zoe Kravitz slit skirt nearly revealing her fine feathered lady friend in a commando undercarriage, Kim Kardashian flashing her Spanx looking boy hold-them-togethers, Beyonce looking cleavetastic, Rihanna sheer funbag show, Zoe Saldana looking wicked hot, Kendall Jenner looking all grown up, and much much more. Was that event of the season, as they say. I'll say this -- if you love your dress up sextastics, you at least had to peep from the rope line. Quite a show indeed. Enjoy.