Anything for a good cause. Tis the season for charitable events, including the ACRIA dinner which raised money for AIDS research and hosted a number of decked out celebrities last night, most notably Kim Kardashian and her Yuletide deep deep cleavage and Alessandra Ambrosio and her Pilates toned all over show-off mommy body, everyone looking like a million damn dollars of lady fine.
I can’t even bust on Kim and her massive bust when she’s putting it to use for noble work. Suffice it to say, no charity has ever been damaged by the presence of sextastic celebrities in barely there dresses gracing their red carpet. If only I could get some positive responses to my Bill Needs a Sponge Bath annual charitable gala. So far, only Mickey Rourke has RSPVed leaving me feeling more nervous than hopeful. Just beautiful girls, please. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlyNet / INFphoto.com
Every day I get up, make some coffee, and eagerly await news of whatever revealing outfit Kim Kardashian wore the night before. She rarely disappoints. In today’s ensemble, Kim is sporting a TIGHT pink latex dress with a built in shelf to show off those legendary funbags. The bra part of the dress looks more like plastic and, as we all know, plastic doesn’t adhere to the body. So, her thingies are more placed on top of the bra than actually being held by them. The result is cleav the likes of which are rarely seen on the Earth. The rest of the dress hugged Kim’s famous curves and reminded us all of what a lucky SOB Kanye West is. She was there promoting her new perfume Fleur Fatale. I imagine you need a nice fragrance on your body after wearing a latex dress for a long sweaty night.
What I do know is that I look forward to seeing what surprises Kim has in store for tonight. Will it be a see-through top? A leather bondage outfit? Or will she just be naked? We’ll have to wait and see.
There is no job too small for a Kardashian, just small boobs. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Kim Kardashian was on hand and flashing her ample healthy wholesome cleavage deep and wide for her little sister’s pimping of the fake hair efforts in Beverly Hills. Just seventeen yet, and such an innocent young lass, we probably shouldn’t comment on Kylie Jenner and her rather bosomy showoff outfit designed to sell more faux blue hair to girls who want to look like 80′s drunk female rock stars I suppose. What do I know of fashion and style? If it’s not at Target, it’s all haute couture to me.
It’s nice to see the family working together for the common good of making even more money. The hawking of product is the communal moment for Kardashian girls to ignore their spats and differences and work together for the family business. It’s kind of Americana beautiful. I’m referring mostly to the funbags now. Enjoy.
Paper Magazine is calling this rather monumental naked pictorial of Kim Kardashian ‘just broke the Internet’. I’m not so sure about that, maybe just busted a nut is more appropriate. Though there is no doubt that this is clearly Kim’s riskiest photo shoot probably ever, at least of the paid variety and not shot on amateur tape by her boyfriend. This is more revealing than Kim’s Playboy Magazine shoot even if you think about it. Or go look and compare.
I must admit, I’m shocked. I did not think we would see this. Or that somebody could afford so much baby oil. Kim shows all the parts that made her who she is today. I think there’s something admirable about her doing this, beyond just the titillation of seeing one of the most sought after funtime girls all nekkid and topless and such. Kim doesn’t care what you think. There’s nothing she won’t do to show she doesn’t care what you think, including giving you exactly what you want from her. That’s so damn meta. On this day, well done, Kim. Enjoy.
Well, why not just cut to the photographic chase? We all know why we stood in line for the Kim Kardashian exhibition. We want to see her big ole booty. So heck yeah, let’s cut out the small talk, have her drop her drawers, oil that bad boy down, and let the photography session begin. That’s what Paper Magazine figured at least. I have to give them an A on concept. Execution I’ll leave for you to grade.
Kim seems at least self-aware enough to know what she’s selling in her virtual store. It’s her cans. Perhaps nobody in history has ever accomplished as much as Kim has with merely curves and no other apparent talents. It’s a tribute to something through probably ought to be taught in our nation’s schools if we’re to stay ahead of the international success curve. For now, we can just let gravity take its course and draw our retinal cones toward that might thumper, touched up as it may be. Enjoy.
Have boobs will travel. If you’re the curvaceous short person known as Kim Kardashian, a big dollar hair products pimping deal in London means you need to have nice looking hair, and even nicer looking tomatoes on the big reveal. Advertisers want their appearance fee money’s worth. If you hire Elsa for a Frozen birthday party for you little girl, Elsa better look super blonde and sing Let It Go. Kim Kardashian better flasher her large mammaries in some kind of expensive, but revealing dress. This is the business covenant.
Kim and sister Khloe were pimping something called Hairfinity in London. It sounds like some horrible nightmare scape in a Clive Barker novel but i’m guessing it’s mostly just ineffective hair care products in fancy looking bottles. Either way, the idea is when you look directly into Kim’s mega nuggets, you will be too confused to remember anything but your credit card number. I’d mock it more, but it keeps on working. Sometimes evil plots do pan out. Enjoy.
Your stepfather’s birthday party seems like perhaps an odd place to wear a tight sheer top over your mammoth mammaries, but when you live life on camera, I suppose there’s no down time from the exhibition time. Kim Kardashian found the perfect dress to wear in a couple sizes too small for her curves and headed off to Bruce Jenner’s celebration. It was hard to miss Kim considering her massive funbags and nipples looked ready to go Vesuvius at any given moment.
I’ve never begrudged Kim using her big curves to earn a living. You need to work with what you’ve got. She’s turned the few things she’s got into a major business empire. That’s impressive even if you don’t care for her personally. And, yes, she had some help, from mom, and Mother Nature, and various doctors around town. Still, as long as Kim isn’t charging for ogles, I’ve made my peace with her vapid doll house life. Enjoy.