It's a money bag!
Well, actually, according to US Weekly, it's a girl. Which I suppose in the Kardashian Klan is the same as a money bag, or even better, a money bag that replenishes itself with scandals and shameless personal exposure and promotion.
Congratulations to the happy adulterous couple on this blessed news.
While we fear the porn star Kim Kardashian pregnancy may be spawning the destruction of the human world, there is one benefit to her out-of-wedlock gestation, even bigger boobs.
And while some may say this silver lining of even larger funbags on Kim Kardashian is slightly short sighted compared to the potential destructive force of her offspring, we always side with boobs, as does Du Jour magazine, featuring Kim in her last known photoshoot, with swollen-er chest, and making as if she's not currently carrying the son of Satan, or some other dude not her husband, in her womb. Well, that's been said. Enjoy.
Not sure if you've noticed, but we kind of have a lust affair going on here for the fabulous funbags of our more favorite (and chest-blessed) celebrities. Now, while we'd certainly rather see these curvaceous meloned ladies without any tops at all, all commando and hanging fancy-free and whatnot, we accept the facts of modern life and relish in the cleavetastic displays of boobery each puts on for public consumption.
Peruse these 30 finely cleaved ladies of Hottieville and see who we think deserves a standing fapitation for their outstanding use of boob skin in a dramatic visual performance. Enjoy.
Though halfway across the world, adult film actresses Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson held court at respective nightclub promotions, flashing cleavage, and getting paid to wave and smile and take photos with the lucky visitors.
Now, Kim Kardashian may be pregnant, but there's no way she's turning down a fat paycheck, even if it means heading to the Ivory Coast in Africa to spotlight host a big nightclub promotion. To hell with the local riots and political unrest, mommy needs to get paid for her cans!
As for Jenna Jameson, well she strode in through the backdoor at the MGM Grand in Vegas looking like a million bucks, and we will never speak ill of a woman who has given us so much happy happy fun times without even speaking.
To pimping pros doing their thing to bring home the bacon. Bless you, ambitious ladies of Hottieville. Enjoy.
Remember that great aunt of yours with the round belly and the oversized bosom that would suck you into hear chest at the holidays, where you were certain you were about to draw your last breath. It's amazing you can still have motorboat desires after such childhood traumas. My great aunt Edna would clutch you tight to her 38FFFs and you might not come out for a week, and it was no picnic, let me tell you, I mean, outside of the sandwich crumbs you'd find in there for sustenance.
Such is the anticipated future of porn star Kim Kardashian, the money making merchandisable female element at the center of the Kardashian Family Mafia, now carrying the child presumably of rap star Kanye West, a man not her husband, and preparing to blow up like a Princess Jasmine balloon in the Macy's Day Parade. So, what to do? What to do? Well, cut out a section of your dress to flash your still epic and growing cleave and distract the general public from the multi-million dollar offspring of questionable lineage in the nether regions. And, you know what? It works. Enjoy.
Begrudgingly, we must distance ourselves from our feelings about Kim Kardashian the porn star merchandising machine and primary puppet of her string-pulling stage and brothel mom and just look at Kim Kardashian the short busty hottie who has raised public promiscuity and exposure to a financial art form the past half-dozen years.
With the news that Kim has now become with child, quite possibly the illicit love child betwixt Kim and her rapper stalker boyfriend, Kanye West, well, we have a feeling Kim's body is about to go Death Star on us in terms of proportions. And not the first Death Star, but the second one they rebuilt after the first that was even bigger and rounder and could not be penetrated (well, I imagine Kim will still keep this feature even when large and in charge). So, today, we look back on the last several years of Kim looking mighty fine, as we must admit that she has, and does, and certainly keeps attracting professional athletes and rappers to want to tap her keg o' booty. Enjoy.
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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.18.13Read More » |
Egotastic
Kim Kardashian Becomes a Wealthy MILF
What can I say. I'm a sucker for girls with tons of experience points. None more so maybe than Kim Kardashian, who for the first time in her life today had a passenger disembarking her highly visited Love Boat. A baby girl. Mother and daughter are said to be resting comfortably by somebody who paid $5 million for the rights to say that.
It seems like just yesterday our buddy Ray J was performing a procreative act upon Kim. I guess he can only lament his coitus interruptus urinarius strategy. Congratulations to Kim and even Kanye, depending upon his feelings on the matter.
(By the way, why not celebrate the birth of Kim's love child with a full, uncensored viewing of the sex tape that made her famous. Kim K Superstar! It's always fun to see a star's early work.)