I think ‘barely covered’ is probably going to be pro forma descriptions for pretty much every Kendall Jenner photoshoot going forward. Well, perhaps the sprinkling of ‘uncovered’ will also be in the mix. You don’t have a body like Kendall’s and a Kardashian family mindset and not show off your wares. It’s simply not one of the options. Blessedly so.
Kendall’s latest and greatest long lean natural body exhibition appears in GQ magazine. The taller, slender Kardashian daughter exposes the full length of her sleek allure in some various tiny bits of clothing. I’m not sure what a Gentleman who reads this magazine is supposed to take away from these photos in terms of what watch to wear to power lunches, but I can tell you what the Gentleman Ogler takes away from it. Memories. Wonderful wonderful memories. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GQ
Things got a little celebrity hotter at Coachella when the sun went down and the private fancy parties started. Well, hotter and far more wasted. I excluded the photo of Joe Jonas looking like a space cadet because he’s a dude and we don’t like dudes, but suffice it to say, he was tripping. Along with Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin her life party partner, Fergie, Tara Reid, Bella Thorne, Paris Hilton, and Gigi Hadid made the party scene. I’m guessing the music was horrible, but the sextastic celebrities were pretty much in the mood for love, not to mention the mood for getting in touch with their experimental side.
Next year, I’m helicoptering in for this big evening shin dig. I could probably pass as a DJ given I have two hands and look unkempt. DJ B Ego, let me in to spin my iTunes pre-recorded tracks. I’ve just got to party with these girls. They may never be so wasted again. That sounds horrible. I should’ve used my inner voice. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/FameFlynet
The first rule of sextastic celebrity attendance at Coachella, dress like you once saw your parents in a hippy picture. Only do so from designer stores. Second rule, show lots of skin, because it’s the desert and it’s a concert and there are cameras everywhere. The third rule has to do with making out with your boyfriend ever hour but that rule we ignore here on Egotastic because it pains me to see this bevy of beauties being ravished by anyone other than me.
Say what you will about the music lineup and the sweaty packed masses in the general admissions area, the VIP swank brings out the Tinsel Town hotties everywhere, this year including Kendall Jenner, Bella Thorne, Alessandra Ambrosio, Fergie, Sarah Hyland, Paris Hilton, and many more. I’m not physically able to endure ten dollar bottled waters and the sight of ten thousand men in bandanas so I have had to put Coachella on hold, but if I ever score myself a pass to that important hotties persons only section, I’m igniting the Egotastic! blimp and heading for Indio. The sights, oh, the sights. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Let’s be honest. I’m never going to share my deep feelings. For one thing, I’m a man. Technically, I have no feelings. And if I did, I’d bury them somewhere obscure where nobody would ever find them. Like a resort town in Minnesota or a politicians truth jar. But I am more than willing to share with you my life’s work and love, incredibly hot celebrity woman just being all they can be on videos I’m watching. Usually with few clothes on. That does seem to be a common denominator.
In this week’s edition of Hey, Bill, Watcha Watching?, I share the videos I’ve been checking out today while naturally not wanting to miss a second of the Masters. You know what they say about golf, you miss a minute you miss a couple guys walking and talking to their help. This week’s roundup includes a very naughty Kylie Jenner putting her hand down sister Kendall Jenner’s pants, Kate Upton behind the scenes of one cleavetastic swimsuit shoot, Candice Swanepoel covered topless and pimping the juice, and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley flashing fun times in her see-through top on the runway. I would take any one of these women to be my third wife, assuming we had a prenup that kept me in indie beer after our second weekend split. Enjoy.
It remains unclear if this is precisely Kendall Jenner or Kendall as she goes by in the six-figure job modeling world these days. The professional nineteen year old Kardashian offspring posted one or more of these photos around Easter insinuating mildly that she herself lay naked beneath the bunny disguised sweater thing. I can’t say for sure. I can say this girl is tall and seemingly without a hair on her body. I’ve checked. Could it be Kendall Jenner? Certainly so, but as always I’ll leave it to our crack volunteer CSI squad to break the case wide open. Or get that silly sweater off her face and yams. I feel tingly, yet confused. That’s just the way I like it. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Instagram/Snapchat
Kendall Jenner has a rep now . I mean, a public rep for being a showy model. This is a good thing. Even when she heads out for a weekend hike in Malibu, she can’t go in some sloppy outfit. She needs Spandex bottoms and a cleavetastic sports bra to show off her million dollar body. Might be two million since last we spoke given her demand on the top fashion runways of the world.
There’s something to be said for peer pressure. When it gets our loveliest of young ladies into showing off skin in the great outdoors, it can only be seen as socially positive. At least from this ogler’s perspective. Kendall Jenner has one sweet alluring statuesque figure. It’s her thing. Her big thing. Why would you ever want to hide that? That’s rhetorical, please don’t, Kendall. Lose the top next time and we can be best friends. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Kendall Jenner is the new face of Calvin Klein. It seems like they make such a pick every couple of weeks to make a headline with the latest hottie hot in the news young model. I could be wrong. It’s happened before. What is purely right is snatching up the burning bright young model light that is Kendall Jenner for any project you might have available. She’s not Craigslist cheap mind you, these gigs come with one hefty price tag, but she seems to be able to sell in the millions of units of whatever she’s selling. In this case I guess, underwear and jeans. Or maybe just sex.
Kendall Jenner’s rise to fame was anything but unexpected, given she became a mini-star in middle school on her family’s reality show. Also because her mom sold her soul to at least three devils to ensure her progeny would be the leading ladies of pimpdom upon their maturation, or just by sixteen. Say what you will about bargains, this one worked. And say what you will about Kendall Jenner, I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for eating my undershorts. She’s worth the money. For CK I mean. Not Uncle Bill. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Calvin Klein