Oh, how I love a good Twitpic or Instagram selfie in the morning. I’ll also accept afternoon or evening, weekdays or weekends, winter months through the summer and back again. I’m just madly in lust with the cultural phenomenon of hottie self promotion. As much as I rail on the evil corporate landlords of the major social media sites, I’ve also chosen not to send them to another dimension with my mind. We kind of need them to keep running the platform for these sextastic shares. If that ever goes away, I promise, I’ll transport them through the demon portal.
This week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes Kylie Jenner showing off her body, sister Kendall Jenner following suit, Claudia Romani showing off her bikini boobtastic, Emily Ratajkowski braless bonanza, Coco chained and taped and, well, just see, Amanda Seyfried jumping for booty joy, and much much more. You owe it to the tragic spectacle soon to be your March Madness bracket to check out each and every one of these smoking hot self-published candids. I truly believe you (and I) have no better way to spend the next several minutes. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Twitter/Instagram
Kendall Jenner is everywhere these days. This is a very good thing. We waited really quite a long time for Kendall to stop pretending to be a simple sort of not quite home schooled teen and become a full time exhibiting sextastic model. Now, here she is, specifically, here she is on the pages of Allure magazine flashing swimsuit sweet bodied goodness.
Kendall may not have the exotic look of many of the bigger names international models, but she certainly has the body and the ability to sell merchandise. At the end of the day, the bottom line is the only line that matters. Kendall moves merch. And if she has to show some T&A assure that result, then we are all the beneficiaries of that reality. Today, Allure. Tomorrow, maybe the Bill Swift Home Magazine. Not available in stores I assure you. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Allure Magazine
I’m not sure if you can technically call un-covered prosthetics to be uncensored, this is kind of new territory for me. I’m still not quite sure even why Kendall Jenner and Love magazine chose to put artificial big yams over her naturally perfect funbags and similar in lady hump additions to her rear end. I’m guessing it’s perhaps some kind of ribald poking fun of her older half-sister Kim Kardashian? I really don’t know. But I’ve never been good with abstract art. I always see female genitalia in every swirl.
We’ve seen some nice reveals of Kendall Jenner of late. At some point we’ll see some perfectly clean and perfectly naughty frontal shows of her real bare ta-ta’s. So let’s consider this a very odd warmup. Maybe something she does for you for Valentine’s Day in the future because she’s a little kooky and you’d never say no to anything a nude woman asked you. Fair enough. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
See More Kardashian Family Topless Goodness »
I’m not even sure how to explain this one. I think it mostly tracks the story of Cara Delevingne and her lesbionic romp through much of sextastic Tinsel Town of late. She’s putting her little kisses and furrowed brow mark between the sheets with many of the loveliest young ladies of Hollywood these days. Herein my jealousy lies second to my desire to see pictures of these Sapphic activities.
I’m not sure how involved Cara is in corrupting the Kardashians, if that’s even a thing that is earthly possible, but she does engage them in her own wet and touchy feeling jumpy grabby pictorial for Love magazine. This periodical is Kardashian crazy, and they certainly dig Cara, so the chance to have her lightly molesting Kendall Jenner and Kim Kardashian I suppose was too much to not start snapping. It is quite the unique set of photos of some wanton ladies being all kinds of, well, wanton. My hats off to the photographer for fine us of gymnastics in erotic works of art. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
I must admit. This one is beyond me, but I just had to share.
Love Magazine is releasing a rather elaborate photo spread of Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, and Kim Kardashian where they are shot to look like something out of strange pulp sci-fi noir novels or something along those lines. Included are Kendall Jenner with digitally smooshed ta-ta’s blown up and covered in digital pasties along with Kim Kardashian nekkid save for some post-production marks and Kylie Jenner blonde anime looking. The three of them for some reason hyper-stylized into something rather less than normal appeal. Why? I do not know. Art, I guess. Hence, my disagreement with art as a legit subject matter. I’m all for the experimentation of the creative mind in visual form, but if you’ve got Kendall Jenner willing to flash her boobtastic and Kim exposing her bare behind, isn’t that the time for some photo realism? I’m a simple cad, I know. But I’m also right, am I not? Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
I’m not one to tell photographers how to conduct their photoshoots. Especially a pro like Mario Testino shooting for Vogue. He knows exactly what to do when he’s given two young hot big time models to shoot in Venice Beach. Hmm, can’t be too obvious here. How about you, Kendall Jenner, you come out in a cropped sweater and no bra, showing off your tight yummy midriff and the outline of your alluring melons. Gigi Hadid, you come out in a dress that looks innocent enough, but is quite see-through on the bottom showing off your panties and bare sweet cheeks. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Oh, to be a fashion photographer of the most sextastic and passion inducing young ladies on the planet. I’d give up both this job and my car wash detailing gig for such a vocation. The earthly pleasures on set of such shoots would be almost too much for me. I wonder if anybody would notice that my hands were constantly shaking and my camera bag was placed discreetly over my mid-to-low-section. Perhaps, but I’d be in charge so I’d just smile and order less clothing on the models! Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
If Kim Kardashian was a super hero her super power would be the ability to stop men dead in their tracks with her mighty cleav. Once again Kim K proved that no one does boobage like her as she and her sisters Khloe and Kendall and Cara Delevingne attended a Sam Smith concert in LA. She was wearing a tight bustier top that pushed her funbags up into a pleasing cleavage revealing shape that is oh so delectable. Seriously, if there were such a thing as the boob equivalent of the Pepsi challenge, I would bet on Kim’s yum yums over anyone else. Khloe was also looking pretty friggin’ hot in a pair of skin tight leather pants that showed off her greatest asset, her legendary booty. Kendall wasn’t dressed in anything revealing but she’s still my boo, as the kids say.
Say what you will about the Kardashian/Jenner clan, they sure know how to get people’s attention with their sexiness. That’s a skill too, you know.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/INF