Yeah, I got my act together this week and actually got this out on Sunday night. I do spend much of my weekends volunteering at the Home for Wayward Teen Girls, so it’s not as if I’m just twiddling my thumbs, though that is what you should say you’re doing on the off chance you get caught leering. The point is, I’ve been watching videos again online and wanted to share a few of my favorites this weekend with you. No foxes nursing cats or skateboard nut punches here. Though I do love both of those. Just a few of the sextastic celebrities we love to see in motion showing off in front of the cameras.
How about an even more intimate look at Kendall Jenner uncut extras from behind the scenes of her epic GQ shoot, a couple hotties in concert baring skin, Victoria Justice and Charli XCX (okay, so not my music, but those girls in concert, wow), and a look at the slinky loveliness that is Amber Seyer, Miss Missouri and the current Mrs. Barry Zito, in little bits of lingerie and one lucky teddy bear. Oh, sure, occasionally I’ll tune in to PBS, but these crazy sextastic lovelies are more akin to my own personal masterpiece theater. Enjoy.
Happy days are here again. Or the happiest of days. Fridays. When I insert my retractable claw hand into the Reader Finds email bag and find what bits of skin-filled goodies all of you have submitted in this past week. I feel like Satan reaching into his bag of souls to see which politician he pulls out. Only, my bag has even more boobs than his.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Charli XCX in a revealing boobtastic top (thank you to EgoReader ‘Joseph H.’), Alyssa Milano in one of her classic topless skinematics (blessings of ta-ta’s from ‘Elsinore’), Maude Hirst and Alyssa Sunderland in the lovely short lived Vikings (Nordic takk to ‘Stephen’), Charlize Theron topless in Reindeer Games (oh, I remember, via ‘Rony E.’), Elizabeth Olsen delightfully hot cleavage (shoop shoop submitted by ‘Benny’), Gisele Bundchen young see-through top modeling, maybe slightly altered (lovely leers via ‘Bill’), Jordana Brewster bikini goodnes on the silver screen (kindly gifted by ‘Bono’), Julian Wells topless perfection in Entourage (a visual goody from ‘Amanda’), Kendall Jenner near nip slips in her GQ shoot (angled in by ‘Anon’), Krista Allen double D’s in a double dose of skinematics (seismic shifts from ‘Owen’), Lauren Hays lovely topless onscreen (kudos to ‘Kenneth’), Mai Ping Guo who we saw in a bikini this week now quite nekkid (lovely discovery by ‘Reg W.’), Olivia Wilde thong peek on Instagram (much ado about thongs from ‘Ed’), and Zia Gorog wicked hot body in Playboy (added to the archives by ‘David M.’). If you can’t handle it, just take a nap right now off to the side. The adventurous among us are coming through to reap the visual harvest. Enjoy.
Oh, you crazy Jenner girls, and Kardashian girls, and Cara Delevingne, how you do love to get noticed when you hit the town and the hotspots and all the places I’m sure are bars but somehow still let teen celebrity girls carouse provided they are dressed much older.
Kylie Jenner in a pair of shorts so tight they might get everybody arrested led the pack, along with model sister Kendall Jenner showing off her long model legs, Khloe Kardashian flashing her Funions to the greatest extent possible, and Cara Delevingne just looking fashionably hot and waiting to see what girl she’d be taking home tonight. This gaggle of girls is quite different from the motley crew I typically hit the town with. For one, the Kardashians rolls with much greater skin shows. Also, a pack of paparazzi ten deep and ten wide. They’re like a rolling Vegas revue. Legs, buns, ta-ta’s, it’s all there in a line. You simply can’t miss this show. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/INF/PacificCoastNews/Splash
Like it or not, Kendall Jenner, you are now a celebrity model. Who are we kidding? She loves it. This does mean cameras and critical reviews will follow you around everywhere, even when you’re not on the company clock. Though I suppose a Kardashian is always on the company clock. Even on dress down days it’s best to secure your booty in a tight pair of jeans to reveal your feminine lean shape beneath.
Kendall Jenner is normally dressed in designer gowns costing my spring and summer months rent money when she’s working, but on her down time she does tend to dress down, thankfully for her looking plenty hot in a tee and jeans, especially when those jeans are snug to her fine keester. We’ve known Kendall was the taller, fitter, hotter Kardashian sister for some time now, well before decorum allowed us to say it publicly even. But it’s pretty clear. This is the one true model the family has produced. She’s going to be even huger, if that’s a word. So hot in jeans. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Those photos of the delightfully tall and lean and alluring Kendall Jenner published in GQ may have been just a tad bit touched up for many of our tastes. I suppose that’s the pro forma version. Which is why I undoubtedly wait for the behind the scenes video shoots where you can’t quite airbrush a girl in real time while videotaping. Just makeup and favorable lights.
Kendall Jenner really is a fine bit of getting all grow’d up model goodness. She’s gotten right into the game and made herself very comfortable with all the trappings, including squeezing her own funbags for the modesty of semi-demure American media tastes. Not an ounce of nerves at all. Kendall is a complete natural at this craft, almost like she was born and raised for this precise purpose. And, oh, what a purpose. I’m lovestruck. That’s my new polite word for boner. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GQ
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I think ‘barely covered’ is probably going to be pro forma descriptions for pretty much every Kendall Jenner photoshoot going forward. Well, perhaps the sprinkling of ‘uncovered’ will also be in the mix. You don’t have a body like Kendall’s and a Kardashian family mindset and not show off your wares. It’s simply not one of the options. Blessedly so.
Kendall’s latest and greatest long lean natural body exhibition appears in GQ magazine. The taller, slender Kardashian daughter exposes the full length of her sleek allure in some various tiny bits of clothing. I’m not sure what a Gentleman who reads this magazine is supposed to take away from these photos in terms of what watch to wear to power lunches, but I can tell you what the Gentleman Ogler takes away from it. Memories. Wonderful wonderful memories. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: GQ
Things got a little celebrity hotter at Coachella when the sun went down and the private fancy parties started. Well, hotter and far more wasted. I excluded the photo of Joe Jonas looking like a space cadet because he’s a dude and we don’t like dudes, but suffice it to say, he was tripping. Along with Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin her life party partner, Fergie, Tara Reid, Bella Thorne, Paris Hilton, and Gigi Hadid made the party scene. I’m guessing the music was horrible, but the sextastic celebrities were pretty much in the mood for love, not to mention the mood for getting in touch with their experimental side.
Next year, I’m helicoptering in for this big evening shin dig. I could probably pass as a DJ given I have two hands and look unkempt. DJ B Ego, let me in to spin my iTunes pre-recorded tracks. I’ve just got to party with these girls. They may never be so wasted again. That sounds horrible. I should’ve used my inner voice. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/FameFlynet