One thing you can count on at the American Country Music Awards: twang and ta-ta’s. That’s two things. Well, three if you’re one of the technical types. The ladies do know how to squeeze into tight pushing up dresses for the country music events. It’s all part of the milieu and definitely the better part of the events for me.
Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, and Beth Behrs were among the lovely blondes strutting their curves on the carpet last night of what I believe was the 50th anniversary of the event. Texas girls were everywhere, meaning the makeup and cleavage was simply unstoppable. There was music too I suppose, though I must admit my lack of knowledge of all things country music outside of their women folk. And I suppose the tales of boozing and womanizing and heartbreak and making bad mistakes. I really should relate more to country music. Bring on the ladies! Enjoy.
Photo Credit: INF/Splash
Now, I could swear they just had the country music awards a month or two ago in Vegas. But I’m sure that was a different event than the CMT Awards last night in Nashville that saw an assemblage of hotties that really other musical genres have a difficult time matching.
Carrie Underwood might just be my perfect woman. Kristen Bell could easily be my girlfriend on the side if I let her. I’d have to motorboat Miranda Lambert should we ever cross paths in my Red Roof Inn suite at 4am. Kellie Pickler and I could easily hot tub until our prunes begin to prune. And I’d be happy to give LeAnn Rimes and all over body massage and hear her complain about her husband’s ex-wife. I’m down for it all. Something tawdry and melancholy and prurient and horny. Kind of like country music itself. I nailed that. Enjoy.
Say what you will about Country Music, it brings out the hot women. I don’t care if you find the music suffering, suffer you must because a solid third of the good looking ladyfolk in this nation love them the country crooners. You can’t just ignore those facts that I just made up.
So, pay attention we did to last night’s Country Music Awards, the night that country singers and random people we had no idea had anything to do with country music get together to look their best and give each other lots of trophies. There were many highlights of the show last night, but the hotness was owned by the likes of Kellie Pickler, Lucy Hale, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood. There was more, but these were our favorites. The music, well, you know. But the girls, yes, the girls, they make all music worlds go-round. Enjoy.
Now, you know that everything I know about country music can be summed up in a song called, ‘Boy Didn’t Know Shit About Country (So Everybody Called Him Linda)’ I really don’t know jack. But I do know that the whole country music scenes brings in some serious hotties, many of who showed up last night at the 2013 CMT Awards to see and be seen. Also heard I suppose.
Taylor Swift shocked the audience by not wearing a sundress made for a twelve-year old, but rather, a rather grown up looking gown, Carrie Underwood remains a highly underrated piece of allure, Kristen Bell showed up to show off her new MILFy self, AnnaSophia Robb is ever glowing with sextastic, and Kellie Pickler put on a cleavetastic show much fitting the world of country music. All in all, the perfect combo of twang and ta-ta’s. Enjoy.
As I openly admit any time we discuss Country music, I know between zero and nothing of the art-form, outside of my Johnny Cash CDs and my occasional drunken arguments at bars with juke boxes that Lynyrd Skynyrd is the best country band ever. But I do know this — there are some serious hotties and hot bodies among the ladies of Country music, and many of them made their sextastic appearance at the 46th Annual CMA awards last night, including Hayden Panettiere (who stars in Nashville now, dontcha know), Taylor Swift whose thighs we shall somewhat split asunder, Carrie Underwood who is a seriously hidden gem, and Kellie Pickler whose crew-cut only mildly distracted us from her big boobs.
These girls may be a little bit country, and I may be a little bit rock ‘n roll, but damn if I don’t want to make some sweet sweet harmony with each and every one of them (and by harmony. I’m guessing you’re thinking the same. Enjoy.
We don’t think or see much of Kellie Pickler. And to be honest, when we think hot blondes, the former American Idol contestant didn’t really ever come to mind.
That is about to all change, thanks to an outstandingly hot set of Kellie Pickler pictures in Maxim magazine’s Salute to the Troops pictorial. An honorable cause and a surprisingly hot and heavy Kellie Pickler, ll combined together in one nice bit of patriotic fireworks of the hotness variety.
We ourselves are quite ready to burst. Enjoy.