Kellie Pickler, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Kristen Bell Highlight the Hotness at the CMT Awards

Now, I could swear they just had the country music awards a month or two ago in Vegas. But I'm sure that was a different event than the CMT Awards last night in Nashville that saw an assemblage of hotties that really other musical genres have a difficult time matching.

Carrie Underwoodmight just be my perfect woman. Kristen Bell could easily be my girlfriend on the side if I let her. I'd have to motorboat Miranda Lambert should we ever cross paths in my Red Roof Inn suite at 4am. Kellie Pickler and I could easily hot tub until our prunes begin to prune. And I'd be happy to give LeAnn Rimes and all over body massage and hear her complain about her husband's ex-wife. I'm down for it all. Something tawdry and melancholy and prurient and horny. Kind of like country music itself. I nailed that. Enjoy.