Katy Perry

Katy Perry Skintight Leopard Dress Couldn’t Put the Lakers Over the Hump (Though Speaking of Humping…)

Alas, the re-tooled and re-stocked Los Angeles Lakers could not transform the power of the Katy Cocktease body faptastic into a victory last night (or, less alas, you know, if you happen to be a Mavericks fan or don't like the Lakers). But it's worth noting that no matter how hot a super Hollywood body tease you have rooting for your team, you do still need to play some defense on the court.

Now, there's no doubt in our mind that if Katy were to finally flash her bare udders, the Lakers probably would've won by 40 to 80 points in a blowout of historical proportions. But, just like a pump fake without an actual follow-up shot, Katy's attention grabbers without the real action led to underwhelming scoring. Enjoy.

Katy Perry and Gwen Stefani Highlight the Chest-Lights at Vogue Fashion Event

Vogue threw some kind of fashion fundraiser event in L.A. yesterday, and I only know two thing: first, we were told not to show up, and two, number one really pissed us off because nobody knows more about high fashion and overpriced clothing, not to mention anorexic female models, than we do. Nevertheless, we still snuck in, natch, and saw a couple sights in the form of Katy Cocktease and her full-bosom rack with her ever-hint of cleavage, and our belusted no-doubter, Gwen Stefani, far too stylish for our tastes, but still one of the women we have warm thoughts about each evening as we put our heads to sleep on our original Han Solo Star Wars pillow cases.

Two women, four boobs, one swank party. It sure beat another night at the Sizzler salad bar smelling the Bac-o bits for ripeness. Enjoy.

READER FINDS: Amy Adams Topless, Katy Perry Extreme Cleavage, Taylor Momsen YouTube Nekkid and Much Much More…

 

Yep, it's blessed fucking Friday. The gathering of the Egotastic! family 'round the old oak table that unlike my own family gatherings as child will not end up with Uncle Edard being rushed to the hospital with a knife wound precisely just below his rib cage (don't worry, he always made it). It's Reader Finds, the communal gathering of the sextastic stew with bucket loads of boobtastic bare-celebrity goodness.

This week's Reader Finds includes Emma Watson in a sweet Carter Bowman photoshoot (yo, kudos to EgoReader 'Joey G'), Demi Lovato upskirt on Hollywood Blvd (courtesy of 'Charles')., Adrianne Curry in an interestingly revealing Twitpic (thanks to 'Jason'), Amy Adams and Beverly D'Angelo (yep) topless in classic movie clips (bow down to 'Pito'), Laury Thilleman, Miss France 2011 quite topless (merci 'Illiac'), Katy Cocktease flashing major cleave for a monkey (oh, Beehave, EgoReader 'James'), Sammy Braddy bodacious and topless (thanks to 'Ian G.'), Miss Italy 1977 Anna Kanakis taking it off (weird, bur wonderfully provided by 'Gene'), Airu Oshima flashing her Japanese delights (EgoReader 'Tom T.' getting caught up in Asian celeb madness), underrated hottie Courtnie Quinlan topless for Page 3 and Lucy Pinder wicked hot (cheers to 'Reuben'), and more more Frank White photoshoot goodness, this time Vikki Blows classic topless (contributed by 'Vinnie'). Enjoy.

Katy Perry Brings Her Innocent Naughty (In Our Minds) Charms to Japan

Katy Cocktease continued her worldwide pimping and promotion tour in Japan where she put herself on leg-display for the premiere of her blockbuster tweener film, Katy Perry: You Still Can't See My Tits in 3D. Yes, we'd rather gouge our eyes out with your eyes than see a minute of this spectacle, but there's no doubt that girls with their parents credit cards and boys who can't quite explain to their dads why they don't like sports are flocking to the theaters to catch Katy revealing her true self, without revealing her true self.

There's no doubt we'd pay a king's ransom, and or the $78 left in our bank accounts, just for five minutes of ravaging time with Katy Perry, maybe a slight discount now that John Mayer has been there and done that. But, again, we'ere left with the inexplicable desire to shout out, 'C'mon, Katy Cocktease, show us your boobs!".

MTV Video Music Awards Manages to Pull in Hotties Like Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry

I'm still not exactly sure what MTV has to do with music, I think the last music video they played was back in '97, and the last time they were considered the tastemakers in pop music was about '92, but, god bless 'em, they keep putting on their music video award shows and the favorite music artist of young teens everywhere keep on showing up. That latter part means we have to cover it, because they do still bring out the hotties once a year.

This year's crop of the PG-rated best at the MTV Video Music Awards included Taylor Swift, who stole the show quite a bit in her musical performance, and on the red carpet, Katy Cocktease, Alicia Keys, Emma Watson, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna.  I'll say this for MTV, those are some big gets. Can't say I own any of their albums, but I do own thoughts of each of them being naughty in the back of my Corolla at the drive-in movie theater that shut down eleven years ago, kind of like MTV itself. Enjoy.

Katy Perry Is Snockered and See-Through And We Kind of Like Her Like This

Despite what People Magazine and the other suck-up-t0-celeb rags publish about Katy Cocktease being all put-together and happier than ever and ready to pursue her life after Russell, like some modern day Mary Tyler Moore, well, let's just say their journalistic standards are standardly missing when it comes to penning up puff pieces on celebrities in exchange for access. Katy Perry has been, in fact, a wreck for the better part of some time now, especially since her divorce, and if we didn't have all the photos evidence to prove it, we could just point to a short lived fling with self-admiring cocksman, John Mayerres ipsa loquitur, as Brother Jeremiah would say in between carnal grunts as he explained proper means of self-fellating to the boys in the shower.

But, here's the thing, I think we kind of like Katy Perry like this. The Katy who emerged all kinds of 'toxicated and see-through from a bar in Santa Monica the other night, looking kind of ragged and torn and, well, real. We've all been there before, Katy. You don't need to pretend around us. Love sucks. So throwback a few, yell to the heavens, and for the love of all things holy, show us your effin' funbags! Enjoy.

Katy Perry (Covered) Topless and Wicked Hot; And Why We Lust Her

For all the fun we have at the expense of Katy Cocktease, it all comes down to this -- she's super fine.

If Katy weren't so damn hot, and so damn teasy, both of which she is in this rather amazing Jake Bailey photoshoot, we wouldn't be half as uncomfortably angry in our britches as we are about her never posing full topless for the cameras. We are frustrated in her hotness. Not so good looking women, well, they can leave their tops on (or take them off, let's be honest, we're guys, we'll still look).

C'mon, Katy, now is the time. Flash those hooters, it might just save us from the Apocalypse. Enjoy.