Jaclyn Swedberg voted best bikini body in the universe. (HollywoodTuna)
Paris Hilton new breasts five times more breasty than before! (TheSuperficial)
Kelly Brook fine tuning her spectacular funbags via workout. (WWTDD)
50 Shades of Dakota Johnson, her pre-BDSM finest snaps. (COED)
Charlotte McKinney sextastic big and juicy photo roundup. (TMZ)
Pippa Middleton bikni booty faptastic, must see! (DrunkenStepfather)
One of the most popular lovely lasses we’ve shared visual wonderments this year had to be Jaclyn Swedberg who reappeared in numerous bikini photoshoots in 2014. So, fortune of fortunes that our friends at PlayboyPlus just this week launched her latest hottest topless pictorial for the bunny magazine. Truly a princess among princesses. A brunette hottie of curvaceous, nay, monumental proportions.
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Photo Credit: Playboy
I’m not exactly sure what the publicity campaign message is for 138 Water. Forget drinking it, I guess it’s the bottled H20 you’d most like to pour on your sweet boobtastic. Getting curvaceous hottie Jaclyn Swedberg to keep titling back a bottle on her amazing chest puppies has me convinced this is the secret meaning. I’d sure rather watch this than actually drink the stuff.
Someday aliens will visit our world having only viewed our popular media and will pour water over their chests in an attempt to universally communicate with us. It’s certainly better than ray guns. Enjoy.
I’m not sure how many times this 138 Water company that nobody has ever heard of is going to get Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg to show off her body in a two piece bathing suit or less to pimp their bottled product, I stopped counting at ‘thank you, may I have another’. Jaclyn most definitely has the kind of body you want behind your promotional efforts, or the kind of body you just want behind you in general. Or in front.
Selecting a pink bikini for her San Diego beachfront shoot, Jaclyn shows exactly how she puts her whole person into her work, with curvaceous body straight out of bikini hottie central casting. I’d drink this water with her, or just the beads of sweat off her forehead resulting from our passionate making of the sexy on the warm sand. And I’d be willing to pay two bucks for one of these privileges. Enjoy.
I’d pay to watch Jaclyn Swedberg fill out her taxes. She’s so hot. The chance to see her covered topless and her butt cheeks scrunching around tiny bottoms to pimp this mysteriously nowhere 138 Water, well, an opportunity missed is an opportunity you should kick yourself in the ass for, or something like that.
At some point, I need to start a fake product venture of my own requiring the daily involvement of super sextastic models taking off their tops. I mean, I’ve already got Egotastic!, a venture established for nearly that same identical purpose. But maybe something like a teddy bear company that will really get the girls to let their guard down, if not their tops and bottoms. Bill’s Sweet Teddys, featuring promotional photoshoots with over 100 nekkid models and their little furry friends, and I’m not talking about the teddy bears. This could be good. Enjoy.
As far as I can tell, 138 Water is now the second largest employer in Los Angeles, only behind the L.A. Parking Authority which I believe maintains a staff of 800,000 meters maids to keep the city safe from parking ticket deficiencies. Jaclyn Swedberg has taken a few bodacious bikini turns herself now pimping the bottled water that can’t be bought in stores, online, or anywhere else it seems.
Maybe you’re supposed to just imagine you’re drinking it, or pouring it over the lips of the likes of this ridiculously hot former Playboy Playmate. I imagine I would pour confidently, with zeal, yet a touch of tenderness that would get me a call at 3am one evening telling me she misses me. It’s hard to imagine saying ‘no’ to being Jaclyn Swedberg’s late night water call. Enjoy.
Next up in the 138 Water pimping photoshoot lineup, former Playmate Jaclyn Swedberg. And, boy, does she look ready to sell. Anything.
Posing in her skimpy blue bikini, the ridiculously hot bodied and full-chested Jaclyn stretches and poses and preens in an attempt to make bottled water look delicious, while reminding us that water really doesn’t even make our top ten list of elements you need to survive. That entire list is comprised of things you can see just looking at Jaclyn Swedberg in an undersized bikini. Just so much lust-inducement, it’s silly good. Enjoy.