Oh, those trashy gossip rags. You really do need to get out ahead of them. I’m sure you’ve heard this morning that Food TV star and restaurant owner Giada de Laurentiis was splitting from her husband of eleven years. And you are well aware already of the culinary passions mostly involving dried figs and honey wine between myself and the petite busty cooking wonder.
Anybody can put two and two together, but I’d ask that you refrain from doing so even as Giada and I express the unbridled passions of our years long desire for one another. Ignore the stories and the rumors and the speculation, even try to ignore the plaintive wails of spent lust emanating from the Red Roof Inn Suites along the Hollywood Freeway, and just let love take its course.
Leaked sex photos to follow. Naturally. Thank you for your discretion.
When you think of hotties brought in to pimp the shizz out of some Vegas Beach club opening on the Memorial Day weekend, you might be thinking about some young tall model pro. But why not the 40-something cleavetastic Giada de Laurentiis who has such a deft hand in the kitchen that ladies adore her, and such a low cut top while dicing that men imagine doing crazy naughty things with her Italian heritage on the butcher block.
Giada was in Vegas to hostess the opening of Drai’s Beach Club, which I’m sure is impossibly hip and awesome and not at all lined with tweaking Hollywood agents like all the other Beach Clubs in Vegas. Either way, as long as Giada cleavage was involved, I’d be there to peek down her top and gather some other recipes for happiness. Giada, you are quite the culinary treat. Enjoy.
Giada De Laurentiis is simply one of those celebrity minxes that most everybody dreams of being their three day weekend playmate. I’m not sure exactly what it is about certain petite ladies of Celebrityville that catch on with a wide and lusty-hearted audience, but Giada and her omnipresent cleavage seem to draw an exceptional number of oohs and aahs. Is it her hottie little neighbor next door appeal? Her ability to ride you until you beg for mercy than make you the perfect omelet? Okay, that last one may be taking directly from a dream I had Monday evening.
Giada was in Milan, the home country, pimping the shizz out of one or more of her cooking and lifestyle products. As always, she was looking mighty cleavetastic and picture perfect right down to her sparkling smile placed perfectly above her bulging chest. Oh, man, I’m falling into a Giada lust spiral. Somebody get me my spatula. Enjoy.
I’ll tell you what keeps my heart healthy, checking out incredibly hot ladies of the evening. And by that, I mean our finest decked out celebrities hitting the red carpet for galas and good causes as Giada DeLaurentiis, Victoria Justice, and AnnaSophia Robb did last night for the American Heart Association feel good evening.
The ladies all wore red in honor of the cardiac theme for the evening, and man did they each look rather stunning. Pulse-raising if you will. Each of them providing a reason for a racing heart, sweaty palms, and in the good kind of way. I feel better already. Though my blood does seem to be racing to my extremities. I better call a doctor that looks like Giada. Dare to dream. Enjoy.
There’s a thing called the Daytime Emmy Awards. Think of it as the Emmy Awards, but strictly for unemployed heavier set people who watch a lot of TV during the day. To be fair, that group also includes relatively slender stoners, retired police officers, and working bartenders. Still, it’s mostly shows most people have never heard of winning awards. Talk shows, judge shows, soaps, cooking and lifestyle shows, and yadda yadda yadda.
BUT, there is definitely something to be said for the hotness of some of the winners and attendees over the weekend, most notably the boobtastic faptastic displays put on by young busty Haley King, and veteran cleavetastic queen, Giada de Laurenttis. Both ladies brought some serious chest skin exhibition game to the award show. It’s almost enough to make me want to take up daytime television watching. I do so love my couch and Bugles. Enjoy.
Wow, talk about a fantasy come to life. Greek goddess Maria Menounos and Italian cleave-princess Giada De Laurentiis together at a Pink Party, which isn’t quite the same Pink Party that I imagine having with Maria and Giada back at my place, but it was stil good enough to get pretty much every nerve in the body trembling at the sight of 2/3 of what could be the perfect Vaseline Intensive Care party threesome.
And, speaking of perfectly oiled down 2/3 of the perfect threesome, just end of last week the very same Maria Menounos was standing aside the G-rated, but belusted Victoria Justice, and we nearly lost our marbles.as it were. This is getting to be a truly wonderful trend. Enjoy.