Carmen Ortega

READER FINDS: Kari Byron Busty Goodbyes, Kristen Stewart Topless, Olivia Wilde Wicked Hot

Susan Slaughter Modeling Pics
Click to See Uncensored

We’ve made it to the last Reader Finds of August. I’m not sure if that’s monumental or not, but I am the kind of guy who gets emotional at particularly large morning movements. I’m sensitive. Everything is big to me. And this week’s Reader Finds, oh, yes, it’s big and bare and beautiful. I’m sure you have more important things to do today, but you do not have more eye-opening things to do today. Treat yourself to a little celebrity nekkdiness.

This weeks Reader Finds includes naughty modeling pictures of SyFy’s Susan Slaughter (kudos to ‘Sander C.’), Carmen Ortega rear thumper homaging J-Lo (a general blessing to tons of you who sent this in), Sara Malakul Lane desperately hot and topless modeling (whoa baby provided by ‘Glenn’), classic skinematics from Shannon Whirry (ooh la la via ‘Dylan F.’), Alana De La Garza topless on the silver screen (wonderful ta-ta’s contributed by ‘Wilson’), Kate Winslet in yet another topless movie moment (Kate’s funbags by way of ‘Stephie’), Kari Byron and her chest of Mythic proportions (sad goodbyes to Kari on TV from ‘Lyle’), Candice Swanepoel topless from a W Magazine shoot (Our Lady of Swanepoel dropped off by ‘David R.’), Allison Miller bikini shots from Devil’s Due (found footage found by ‘Ellery’), Tanya Roberts classic jungle ta’s (donated to the cause by ‘William F.’), Tashie Jackson sex tape stills (Big Brother alum gets very naughty, courtesy of ‘Den’), Maria Lapiedra super sultry hottie topless (lovely lungs shown off by ‘Tony C.’), Lindsay Lohan deep cleavage in film short (oh, Lindsay how I miss those yams, thanks ‘Douglas’), Jessica Alba crazy hot behind the scenes of her Campari shoot (uber-sextastics via ‘Y.T.’), Olivia Wilde desperately alluring in her GQ shoot (Wilde-ons handed off by ‘Anon’), Jessica Alba once more cleavy sweaty hot modeling (blown away by ‘Lise’), Alina Puscau topless in a sweet Randal Slavin photoshoot (bare lovelies promoted by ‘Plow’), Cara Delevingne wicked covered nekkid for Mario Sorrenti (eagle-eyed by the ever vigilant ‘Owen’), and, last but not least, Kristen Stewart topless in her best film ever, because she’s topless (thank you kindly to ‘Dennis’). It’s a lot. But you can do this. I have faith in you. Enjoy.

Check Out All the Uncensored Reader Finds »

Carmen Ortega Has a Body Built for Show (A Show I’d Like to Attend)

Carmen Ortega is Smoking Hot in Alwayz Therro January 2014
Click to See Uncensored

I can’t say I’m super familiar with Alwayz Therro magazine, but I’d like to thank them for giving us this wonderful visuals of bodacious and curvaceous hottie Carmen Ortega.

Our belusted sultry Latina is in various stages of undress and reveal in this rather memorable photoshoot making me very jealous of her blanket and her couch. Maybe someday I’ll be fortunate enough to be reincarnated as a couch, though you have to be careful you don’t come back as a porn couch. You wouldn’t want your cushions treated to all of those sights. Just Carmen Ortegan’s nekkid lounging divan for me please, Mother Nature. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Covered Nekkid Bodacious Body Hotness Pimping That Water

Another day, another sextastic photoshoot from the 138 bottled water folks who actually just seem to be in the business of photoshoots. They must have shot forty by now, though I’ve seen none of them used commercially. I can’t even find their products in stores.

But you don’t get the vivacious and curvaceous Carmen Ortega into your studio holding her own melons for free. So somebody’s paying. And I’m damn glad they are, for Carmen is a fine specimen of feminine S-shapes. A fully developed woman who tends to come out into the spotlight for major league photoshoots or professional athlete romantic scandals. We care almost entirely about the former, where Carmen truly excels. A body built for pleasure. Most likely her own, but I can dream too. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Lends Her Ample Booty to the Selling of Water

These 138 Water people have scored another big, well, score. Two cheeks worth in the form of Carmen Ortega, the Latina curvaceous bodacious hottie is barely in a one piece, flashing all kinds of full-bodied woman goodness I suppose in an effort to get you to purchase some water. It mostly just makes me want to purchase a bottle of Korbel and a box of Animal Crackers and ask Carmen if she likes to party with a man whose safe word is ‘Don’t stop!’.

Carmen can not be handled by a man who is timid around serious womanhood. I might cry, but I’m ready to dive in. Call me, Carmen. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Bikini Pictures Purple with Passion Inducing Curves

I’ve decided not to get to the bottom of this supposed scandal involving Carmen Ortega and LeBron James getting jiggy with it. It just seems like too much work and something too close to real journalism. Yuck. I’d rather just continue my policy of gawking at the ridiculously fine and soft luscious female form of Carmen Ortega in her various revealing wardrobe incarnations.

In her latest work, Carmen and her never-ending body of happiness were promoting bikinis by the good folks at Beach Bunny, who love to put a little bling into their two piece designs, I suppose in case you’re stranded in a foreign locale and you need a little universal currency to get yourself rescued. As if just having a bodacious body like Carmen Ortega wouldn’t be enough of a universal currency. But nothing wrong with a little gold too.

Carmen Ortega, you make me a very happy man, well, happy to be a man. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Bikini Pictures Bring Her Booty Curvy Sextastic Show to Miami

We really do dig Carmen Ortega. Amid rumors that she’s involved with, or was briefly seeing LeBron James, despite his pending wedding to his baby mama, Carmen continues to do what she does best, just looking might asstastic at the beach in an animal print bikini.

I mean, hey, when you’re a fish, you swim. When you’ve got a body like Carmen Ortega, you strap on a thong and do what you do. It’s all so perfectly natural and beautiful and just makes me want to give the whole world, and Carmen’s badonkadonk, a big loving squeeze. Enjoy.

Carmen Ortega Bikini Pictures Curvaceous Blue Perfection in Malibu

Ooh, I really have taken quite a liking to much-t0-lust model Carmen Ortega. The Latina wonder is yet another one of the curvaceous brunettes filling some of the void left by the absence of Kim Kardashian from the big booty and boobtastic brunette model space. I am more than pleased with this substitution plan.

In her little blue bikini on the beach in Malibu, Carmen Ortega shows off all the powers of a woman who keeps her body in tip top feminine shape, including one of the popular whale tail bikini thong bottoms to show off her rather epic asstastic. There’s much to love about Carmen Ortega. I’d love to get Carmen laying across a bear skin rug in only her natural fur and begin making a list. Just, wow. Enjoy.