Bigger Balls May Lead To Heart Attacks

A man's balls can lead to heartbreak. By this I don't mean metaphorical balls and heart but actual testicles and cardiac muscle. Scientists in Italy found a correlation between testicle size and heart attacks. They were studying men with sexual dysfunction and inadvertently found that men with larger balls tended to have a higher incidence of heart disease. They think it has something to do with high amounts of luteinizing hormone, which is secreted by the pituitary gland. People with big balls tend to have higher levels of LH which scientists think damages the heart. It's ironic that the very thing we've always been told is a good thing may actually kill us. "That guy has got some big balls" was a complement, something said in admiration. Now it's basically like saying, "He will die young and leave his family destitute."

It's probably time to switch from boxers to Speedos.