Gwyneth Paltrow Bikini Pictures Include Some Delicious Apple Bottom Shots

I am of the firm belief that everybody in this world is on vacation but me. The last time I had a vacation, my overly anxious friend Pedro Tranquli locked himself in our beach front motel room jabbering about how the impending Y2K was going to mean the death of the human race. We wooed him out of the room with an elephant PEZ dispenser loaded with Xanax. He slept right through the new years.

Italy seems like a hotspot this summer for celebrity breaks-from-work (or breaks from shopping and lunches); I really must visit these Boot-beaches where we have seen so many sextastic celebs over the past few weeks, including, rather unexpectedly today, Gwyneth Paltrow in a red bikini, the fifth hottest color on the bikini color chart. Now, say what you will about the ex-pat princess, but Gwyneth has certainly held her own in the MILFtastic bikini category. I'm going to guess Pilates, perhaps yoga, maybe a splash of vegan dieting. In any event, it's paying off in red shaped hearts. Enjoy.

(P.S.  It sure seems like we rarely see Gwyneth alongside that elementary-school-haired yodeler from Coldplay any more? Just saying.)