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Yes, Wii U-ers, Super Metroid for Thirty Cents IS the Best Deal in Gamer Guy History

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chris-littlechild - May 21, 2013

Those of us well-versed in the shenanigans of the Gamingverse know that Wii U is still vainly trying to get its shit together. Largely because, as is the case with PlayStation Vita, a great dearth of essential exclusives has shot sales right in the mansack. If this alarming trend continues, Japanese businessmen in clinical white office buildings everywhere will be unable to purchase that tenth solid-gold Humvee. And where will humanity be then?

Squarely in the shit, that's where.

U-users do have such meatier-than-Kim-Kardashian's-ample-asscheeks experiences as Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate to indulge in, and the family-friendly frolics of Nintendo Land and such, but these are rather niche. What's needed, then, is a balls-out must purchase. Rather like the one that just recently deigned to appear (if you like to party like it's 1994, it qualifies, at any rate).

Don't pretend you haven't also noticed the missile icon's uncanny resemblance to a wang. You can't unsee that sort of thing.

Nintendo have been releasing monthly titles from their much-ballyhooed NES and SNES archives for a meager thirty cents, as part of their Virtual Console trial promotion. After this period, they revert to the original price scheme. Such wonderment as Balloon Fight, Punch-Out!!! (complete with full complement of dumbass exclamation marks for no damn reason) and F-Zero were among the recent bargains, but the current offer is undoubtedly the pick of the crop for many: Super Metroid.

You have until June 12 to make the best $0.30 purchase of your life. As a salutation to this deal-iest of deals, join us later this week for a delightfully snarky look at the game.

Source of images: gamefabrique.

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