Sam Robeson - February 26, 2018
Voldemort's number one henchman Wormtail made a surprise appearance at the Athena Film Festival to bestow J.J. Abrams the Leading Man Award during a special event. Wormtail sported his frumpy best from the "Egg Shape" collection at JoS. A. Bank, and while this appearance was originally going to be the entire focus of this post, we now have a nude Instagram picture to really help you work up a nice lunchtime deuce.
Lena Dunham really has thrown in the towel, which must be liberating for her and a full blessing for any former beauty team in charge of smearing makeup on her expansive canvas. Like being a mural artist. But you definitely don't invite Dunham to a ceremony because you want someone who registers as a woman in any way, and at this point her invite really might be because of the whimsy she brings to fans of the Harry Potter franchise. Because girl is mythological.
Speaking of no longer being a woman, Dunham recently had a hysterectomy because literally all unattractive girls have Munchausen syndrome and settle on receiving attention for fake internal failures rather than real external successes. The other thing unattractive girls do is post topless Instagram photos as desperate ploys for any sort of validation. So, let's give it to her. Lena, I would rather have sex with you than Wormtail. Unless you talk during. Then I have some soul searching to do.
Photo Credit: Getty Images, Warner Bros / Pacific Coast News
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