Who Can Turn The World On With Her Smile? Hypothetically, Kristen Stewart Could

C'mon, Kristen Stewart, you've got a beautiful worked-out body. Your butt looks amazing in tight jeans. You're rich. You've got a handsome boyfriend (albeit, with the personality of road fudge). And you're one of the biggest movie stars in the world. What will it take to make you smile?

Feathers down the bare of your back? Little nibbles along your troubled brow? Atlas carried less weight on your shoulders than you do even after a solid workout with your personal trainer.

There, there, Kristen. You're hot. Just smile. Please. Try to enjoy.